My wife told me she is a compulsive liar

I'm not sure whether to believe her or not.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/emu404
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Quarks are liars

Because they make up everything

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MrMan314MC
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Ghosts are terrible liars

You can see right through them

πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/infinitywee
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fat liar sitting down?

Quite deceitful.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Xtrendence
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Got a call from school, saying my son was a notorious liar....

I said, "He must be bloody good, I don't have a son."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Getting quite tired of my friends calling me a pathological liar

Being the head of the NSA during the week and captaining the International Space Station on the weekends can be very exhausting

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/xtilexx
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you say to a constipated liar?

You're full of shit

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lonelyslav
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is Noelle a liar?

Because she has two.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/eXplosivO_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Liar liar pants on fire
πŸ‘οΈŽ 36
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/puntasticuser
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Those northern canadians can smell a liar a mile away

And they wont have Nunavut

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheCrimsonnerGinge
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My Microwave is a Liar

On the front it says "30-60 Seconds for a Hot Dog. I keep running that thing for minutes on end but I never get a Hot Dog to come out.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Elon_Muskmelon
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
β€œI told you Doc!! I’ve got fatigue and my heart keeps skipping a beat! Why do you keep calling me a liar??

Doctor: β€œSir, I’ll say it again, that’s A Fib!”

Sorry, It’s not a good hearted joke.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Her: You’re such a liar! You said you have between 10 and 15 million dollars.

Him: I didn’t lie. I have 25 bucks.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 23 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend is such a liar.

He showed me this clay pot, and told me that he uses it for slow cooking.

What a crock.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AVeryCredibleHulk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Liars are just unbelievable!
πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/iack4
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 03 2018
🚨︎ report
What are the symptoms of a compulsive liar?

I don't have connection to the internet so I can't check.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 28 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a liar sitting in a river?

In de nile

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MrDitz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Y'all hear about the habitual liar who allegedly published a best-seller?

Everybody's buying it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/megaletoemahs
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 16 2017
🚨︎ report
My dad is a religious man, and whenever I would lie as a kid, he would say, β€œDo you know where liars go?”

β€œNot where they say they’re going.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tehPWNwhale
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Soup lovers are all liars

You can never put too much stock in them.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ToroZuzuX
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 24 2018
🚨︎ report
What happens to liars when they die?

They lie still!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 205
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/WookieFragger
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 06 2015
🚨︎ report
Three Types of Liars

A good liar believes her lie as she tells it.

A mediocre liar believes something, as she talks, and pretends that her words correspond to that something.

A bad liar thinks of the truth as she lies against it.


X-post from /r/OCPoetry

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/justonium
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 21 2016
🚨︎ report
Why do windows make such bad liars?

Because you can always see right through them!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JohnManyjohns
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 29 2015
🚨︎ report
Why are ghosts bad liars?

Because you can see right through them!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 79
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are ghosts bad liars?

Because you can see right through them!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are ghosts bad liars?

Because you can see right through them!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Windows are terrible liars

You can see right through them.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Laughing_Mask
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are ghosts bad liars?

Because you can see right through them!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are ghosts such bad liars?

Because you can see right through them!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/canthasslethehof
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are ghosts bad liars?

Because you can see right through them!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are ghosts bad liars?

Because you can see right through them!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are ghosts bad liars?

Because you can see right through them!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are skeletons bad liars?

Everyone can see right through them

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SharpNeedle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are ghosts such bad liars?

Because you can see right through them.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GoliathTheTitan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 30 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.