My friend is pastor of a church that has no divine historical figures with extraordinary spiritual and moral insight...

It's a not-for-prophet organization.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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Needed to share these insights πŸ™πŸΌ
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AmazingandAwkward
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
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NASA’s new rover, Insight, is supposed to tell us about Mars’ soil composition and about what’s underneath the surface of Mars..

So technically, Insight’s purpose is to give us insight about what’s not IN SIGHT

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RLU763
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2018
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Here's a small insight of what my siblings and I have had to deal with our entire lives.

So, its the day "Clash of the Titans' comes out in theaters. My dad decides to take my brother and I, (we're all big fans), so we get there early and are waiting out in the lobby, my dad and brother go to the bathroom, I wait on a bench for them. A few minutes go by and I see them coming out, my dad giggling at himself, my brother red with embarrassment, and some men behind them laughing.. I want to know, but do I really want to know?

"What did you do?"

He proceeded to tell me of how he overheard some guys chatting about how excited they are for the movie, then realized everyone in there was probably going to see the same movie we are, so he thought it would be a good idea to get in the conversation. He calmy unzipped his pants and yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" as he peed.

And that was all he said.

My poor brother.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MasterMegan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2013
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I also knew someonewho felt morally obligated to drive an economy sized Honda

She felt it was her Civic duty

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arthurdent6
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
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My girlfriend brought up a YouTuber therapist named Dr. Honda...

What follows is a transcription of our conversation

Me: I hope he helps his patients find Accord in their lives

Her: Well therapy is only one Element to success

Me: He's just doing his Civic duty

Her: He gives them Clarity and Insight

Me: On their Odyssey through life

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πŸ‘€︎ u/J-L-Picard
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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I don’t know if I trust the self-cannibal.

He seems to be full of himself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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Dads can be insightful at times

Sitting at the dinner table, having a typical conversation with kids aged 12 to 1.

10-year-old: "This doesn't make any sense!"

Dad: "Maybe someday you'll have a conversation that can make some change."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/busykat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2013
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How long did Cain hate his brother? As long as he was Abel.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2017
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Guys, I know why 2020 been so awful.

If we ever get to 2021. I will be endlessly talking people that `2020 is hindsight` and the sear terribleness of this pun got all god and Eldridge abominations to band up and try to end humanity before that happens. With this, earthly insight, I decided that everyone must be informed of the pun. It is, my and I can't die peacefully knowing it has not laid its mark on a mortal soul

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πŸ‘€︎ u/greenflame15
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
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A Dad joke planted as a seed, which took 17 years to flower.

Not quite as tragic, but it manifested into something which has haunted me at my job for years.

When I was a little kid learning about the world around me, my dad was naturally the font of all knowledge for me, He would answer all of little snippersmith's questions with his own unique insights and anecdotes teaching me of my surroundings with varying degrees of accuracy.

One day In a picture book, I encountered a photo of one of natures most bizarre creatures, the mighty duck billed platypus. Filled with curiosity of this bizarre creature and an Inability to read a young snippersmith asked his father what this creature was called, To which his father replied,

That's a Quackopotamous.....

As is a highly likely situation in day to day life the Platypus (or indeed the Quackopotamous), did not come into conversation for another 17 years, Until of course the Platypus came into conversation around the lunch table at a now grown up snippersmith's full time place of work.

I have not been allowed to forget I thought the Platypus was called a Quackopotamous, Indeed I am reminded on a daily basis by my colleagues, by my nickname Quackopotamous .

Thanks Dad.

EDIT 1: Holy Cow this took off! Gold! thank you so much.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snippersmith
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2016
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Dad dropped this one on me back in '77.

We were driving down a Texas road late at night in my Dads' 72 Pontiac Grand Prix when a bug spalts on the windshield. The kind that makes a thud and leaves a two inch puddle of elongated goo. Without turning his attention from the road my Dad asked:

"You know what the last thing was to go through that bugs mind ?"

Suddenly, expecting some philosophical insight my father had into death I quietly asked "What?"

My Dad takes a drag on his Winston, exhales, and still never looking away from the road says: "His ass."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zandt88
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2016
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(step)Dadjoke tonight

So my step dad, mother, and I are on our way home from a pint night tonight when we got onto the conversation of twins. I was going back and forth with my mom, who as a nurse was giving insightful comments on the subject. My step dad quips in and asks if there's any specific parts of the US that are prone to fraternal or identical twins. We both are kinda confused for a second, and my mom says it's not a geographical thing but genetics. He then says he would have thought Minnesota would have been the place. I lost my shit. My mom was confused until she realized it was a baseball dadjoke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jahlovelol
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2015
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Anyone have good dad facts?

Blatantly obvious fact but delivered in a way that they are expected to show insight!

Ex: You ever see the birds flying in a V?

Do you know why one side of the V is longer than the other?

Because there are more birds on the longer side.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/opeboyal
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2015
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While buying a laptop

[At Best Buy]

Me: So I don't know anything about computers, do you have any insight for me?

Employee: Well, computer x is great, but computer y is just as good, and this week y is on sale and really would be the best value for your money.

Me: so...you're saying that it would be the best buy?

Employee: Yeah, but don't say that

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πŸ‘€︎ u/checkmate555
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2014
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My dad's first recorded dad joke

For a quick insight I want to be an astronaut and have a love for space.

Dad: how does NASA plan a party?

Me: I don't know, how?

Dad: they planet.

I laughed for a solid ten minutes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/InhibitedTech96
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2014
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