It was an Otis wedding.
I'm disappointed it wasn't called the British Aisles.
Dad: Man! I'm so thirsty I can drink Canada Dry!
Me: (γοΈΏγ)
"Who's making all that racket?"
No rush at all. Isle Wight.
Isle weight.
I tell her, don't be a small island off the South West coast of Italy.
But my friends said "Don't be Scilly".
My 4 yr old son and I went to a convention this weekend. We had to bring a stroller, because of all the walking. Usually when we went to panels and shows, we would get Isle seats because of the stroller. We roll up to our seat and sit down. My son hangs out in the stroller.
The man in front of us turn around and says, "Middle of the isle. Clear view of the stage. I'm jealous."
My 4 yr old son replies, "Hi, Jealous." without even missing a beat. I was proud.
... And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing. Not one canary there either.
I was grocery shopping with my roommates and one was picking out a dozen eggs.
Friend: "ahh gross. Look at this."
He pulls out his hand from a carton and is covered in egg.
Me: "I guess the chicken does come first."
I had to walk into the next isle to stop laughing.
We were at walmart and I was saying all sorts of bad jokes associated with products. She eventually got mad, so I asked if she thought I was funny. We walked past some cheetos in the chip isle and she pointed at the cheetos and said "ya, you're dangerously cheesy". I knew she was a keeper.
when we got to the detergent isle he walked up to the bottles of Tide and turned them around. He turned around, saw the confused look on my face, and said "The Tides have turned!"
So I work retail and I was restocking shelves on a hardware isle with tools, doohickeys, and thingies. He was walking and talking with a new boss (training him and such) when they stopped at my isle. They didn't really notice me so it was perfect.
I picked up a stud finder and hit 'em with a classic!
"Hey guys check it out! It's a stud finder" Runs it over chest "Beep beep beep. Oh hey it's working!"
My boss had a few chuckles and the other guy said something about it being stupid but smiled anyways. Me? I was laughing my ass off.
They talked for a few hours while cleaning the store, and find a few isles that are way beyond "dirty". They decided to have a match. Whoever finishes their half of the area is deemed best janitor. Before they started, one of them scoffs and says, "I'ma wipe the floor with you"
He walks into the nearest newsstand and starts filling his pockets with candy. As he tries to walk out, he's stopped by a security guard.
Guard: What do you think you're doing? Lagasse: Whatever I want. This is the Emeril Isle. BAM!
We're walking down a supermarket isle looking for Spaghetti:
Her: "We need Spaghetti, have we missed it?"
Me: "I think... We just pasta it!"
Her: "Not funny at all" she says as I'm chuckling away at my own joke.
About a week ago I purchased one of those cheap checkout isle toys for my son. In particular it was one of the fan type toys that looks like a helicopter, with a small compartment of candy under the handle. Naturally he downs the candy and is toting the toy around for the next six or seven days, putting random items in the compartment. One day it is Lego's, another its rocks, another its dirt, so on and so forth.
Every time he puts something new in it he comes up and shows me what he was able to fit into the compartment.
This afternoon I was getting ready for work and drinking my coffee (night shift's this weekend), when he comes up to me with the helicopter. "Dad, look" as he is shaking the toy around with something rattling inside. "look, look". OK buddy, whats in there?
"CD's".... Huh? the compartment is smaller than a roll of quarters, how does he have cd's in there?
He proudly opens it up and goes "see theese... hahahaha", and just stands there waiting for my reaction.
So I was at a baseball game with my dad, and a beer salesman was moving through the isles. He was carrying a box with beer cans in it, and a bag of ice on top. He was yelling "Beer on ice!" So my dad turns to me and says "looks more like ice on beer to me."
I was stood around making bad jokes about cereal and he says "can we leave the cereal isle now?"
as if god himself had placed them there i turned to the closest box of cereal near me and said
"cheerio"... of course the box was cheerios which made all of this possible.
