45 Hilarious I Don't Want To Puns

I don't want to talk about it

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👤︎ u/EndersGame_Reviewer

📅︎ Feb 16 2023

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I was tased last night, but I don't really want to talk about it.

I was shocked, to say the least.

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👤︎ u/AuspiciousDefiance

📅︎ Mar 04 2023

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"I don't want to go to school!!"

"But you have to. It's Monday..."

"My stomach hurts!!"

"No it doesn't. Come on now, get dressed..."

"But the kids are mean to me!!"

"I'm sure some of them are nice..."

"The teachers all hate me!!"

"They can't hurt you..."

"I still don't want to go!!"

"But you have to, dear... you're the principal."

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👤︎ u/juntokyo

📅︎ Jan 03 2023

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I bought a pride flag for my wall, but I don't know if I want to hang it vertically or horizontally...

I'm really questioning my orientation.

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👤︎ u/IceTwenty

📅︎ Aug 12 2022

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I don't know much about electricity and I want to learn.

But I don't know watt and to ohm.

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👤︎ u/Klimpen4prez

📅︎ Sep 22 2022

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8 year old me when mom asks me why i don't want to go to school:

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👤︎ u/chunkycouscous

📅︎ Mar 20 2022

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I don't want to be an electric car mechanic...

...it's a tankless job.

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👤︎ u/DavidkDavid

📅︎ May 11 2022

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Ok look, there have been a lot of meta posts in this sub recently and I don't want to further fan the flames but it's really important to me to say one more thing on the topic.

I never meta dad joke I didn't like.

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👤︎ u/thkoog

📅︎ Jan 16 2022

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Do you want to know about the 12 things that I don't care about?

Nevermind, it dozen matter.

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👤︎ u/the_superior_nerd

📅︎ Apr 18 2022

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I want to fish standing the water but I don't have any...

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👤︎ u/jahpizzie

📅︎ Jul 31 2021

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I don't want to spoil the ending of IT by Stephen King

But I can tell you, IT's going down well

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👤︎ u/SupHomiess

📅︎ Feb 16 2022

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Me (to my wife): I don't want to be selfish.

Wife: Well, you are pretty crabby.

Groans were had. We don't even have kids, no idea where she gets it.

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👤︎ u/WalterBrickyard

📅︎ Jan 17 2022

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I dont want to stick around for the end of the world

Armageddon outta here!

👍︎ 9

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👤︎ u/Fumb-MotherDucker

📅︎ Jan 09 2022

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I don't want to get all cheesy, but I just wanted to say...

Happy gruyère!

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👤︎ u/stevieraypwn

📅︎ Dec 31 2021

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I don't want to use Cobra Kai's dirty leg sweeping tactics, but that John Kreese is just so dreamy...

He really makes me weaken the knees.

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👤︎ u/johnkorean

📅︎ Jan 30 2022

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I don't want to end the year on bad terms with anyone

So apologize to me.

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👤︎ u/sasisan

📅︎ Dec 28 2021

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I've decided I don't want to be fat, so I now identify as skinny.

Guess that means I'm trans-slender

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👤︎ u/RodimusMajor84

📅︎ Jun 20 2021

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I don't want to see anymore tampon jokes here

Period

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👤︎ u/supra_elongata

📅︎ May 25 2021

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I don't want to throw shade at the JWST, but...

...its sun shield has deployed.

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👤︎ u/kwan_e

📅︎ Jan 05 2022

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There's one thing I want to say to those who don't make a dry bird on Thanksgiving

You're all master basters

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👤︎ u/SilentJoe1986

📅︎ Nov 25 2021

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I told my son I don't want to hear any more menstruation jokes...

...and that's period.

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👤︎ u/lordTigas

📅︎ Oct 14 2021

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I don't want to be an alarmist, but...

...my father has an alarm company and I'm going to inherit it.

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👤︎ u/blastoise1988

📅︎ Apr 24 2021

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I don't want to say 2021...

...because it sounds like Twenty Twenty Won.

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👤︎ u/dhisum_dhisum

📅︎ Dec 30 2020

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sometimes I don't want to Git it reddit.com/gallery/m2d8as

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👤︎ u/juicecarver

📅︎ Mar 11 2021

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I don't want to sound raceist but...

I've always preferred the 100m to the 200m

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👤︎ u/WonkySight

📅︎ Sep 25 2016

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I don't want to fail my hernia exam ....

But my test tickles.

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👤︎ u/PotBuzz

📅︎ Jan 27 2020

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Hey, I don't care, if people want to spend lots of their money on electricity...

Then more power to them!

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👤︎ u/TommehBoi

📅︎ Apr 16 2020

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I don't want to taste it tbh

https://preview.redd.it/4qvuttmtw8041.png?width=2259&format=png&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=192d4aa0c8b3088aa1aa4c81d5ab3f767dcaa5fb

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👤︎ u/ironporkchop

📅︎ Nov 22 2019

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I went to the Red Cross to donate blood. They threw me out and yelled "we don't want your type here!"

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👤︎ u/TheLe99

📅︎ May 11 2017

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I don't want to sound like I'm bragging, but I have a black belt of the 22nd degree.

I just store it at room temperature.

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👤︎ u/Anthonybrose

📅︎ Feb 19 2020

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I could post a lot here but I don't want to pack too much of a pun-ch

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👤︎ u/FunnyUsername153

📅︎ Sep 07 2017

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I don't want to do everything too fast...

Nor do I want to do everything too slow, so... I do everything half fast.

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👤︎ u/NISCBTFM

📅︎ Apr 10 2019

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I told my wife that I don't want to have children.

The kids are taking it pretty hard.

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👤︎ u/jlhc55

📅︎ Oct 25 2018

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this one was so annoying I don't even want to post it.

my dad telling me about a new guy at work. my dad: "so at the meeting today the new guy mentions he had a dream about work"

my dad says to him... "looks like you found your dream job"

I'm sorry people as much as it pains me to think about this horrible, HORRIBLE joke and write it out I just had to torture you guys with it. again I'm so so sorry

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👤︎ u/alfrednugent

📅︎ Mar 01 2014

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I don't want to Russia. But the before we go, I'm

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👤︎ u/Krombopulos137

📅︎ Aug 26 2017

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I don't want to get too complicated saying this joke

So all I'll do is complain

👍︎ 4

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👤︎ u/ifiwere2ask

📅︎ Jul 13 2020

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My wife and I decided that we don't want to have children.

We'll be telling them tonight.

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👤︎ u/Jan_Tik

📅︎ Nov 25 2019

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I want to get into juggling, but i dont have the balls

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/Wolfcubware

📅︎ Feb 24 2019

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Son: Dad, I want to be a train conductor but I don't know where to start.

Me: The station... You can do it. Just stay on the right track

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👤︎ u/rehakbrand

📅︎ Sep 27 2019

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Speaking to a friend: "My mother once told me, 'if you want to go further on your journey, you have to take that next step, no matter how daunting'." My friend piped up, "Don't you mean farther?" To which I replied:

"No, I'm fairly certain it was my mother."

Credit to B.C. (comic strip), most likely paraphrased since I read it many a moon ago, though I'm fairly certain the punchline is very close to the original.

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👤︎ u/drozzi007

📅︎ Jan 01 2020

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I built a cupboard, but I don't want to show you...

..because I'm too shelf-conscious.

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👤︎ u/boxofrabbits

📅︎ Aug 20 2014

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I want to get my buddy a good present but all I can find is a painting that has a prostitute saying, "1,2,3,4..." and I don't think he'll like it.

But it's the thot that counts.

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👤︎ u/Steamroller04

📅︎ Jul 15 2019

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I don't want to hear your periodic table jokes.

Barium.

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/tvkyle

📅︎ Feb 08 2019

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I named my daughter "Amanda Victoria" but i dont really want her to have a nickname.

Unfortunately i think it might be Manda tory

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👤︎ u/zombiepipes

📅︎ Oct 03 2019

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My French friend always pushes me to do things I don't want to.

I guess you can call it Pierre pressure.

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👤︎ u/randomly_mexican

📅︎ Apr 18 2019

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