I do tend to crack myself up
Every one reading this is on the same page.
Edit: Thanks guys. This is way too much love.
After all, it’s twenty twenty too
...it’s become real handy
If it had died in hot, it would have been hell!
She's just purrfect or else it would have been a catastrophe.
With all of this “car owner virus” going around
She picked her nose.
Me: Super easy. It was right next to the potatoes.
...and I got to keep mine.
I'm a teacher, and due to recent storms we've had a few short-lived blackouts.
Today in class the electricity was being fixed by the company and they had to shut the lights off for a few minutes.
Secretary (comes in the room): were there any problems with the lights off?
Me (I've got this, I'm ready!): No, we were delighted.
The secretary left, paused outside and then came back in with the worst glare possible. Yes!!!
Thank you guys, I was prepared.
Edit: Front page!!! Awesome! This is the highlight of my day! Keep your puns coming, I love them all (and I'm secretly practicing them for the proper opportunity).
Thank you so much /user/x9x9x9x9x9 for the gold! It made everything that much better.
Keep your puns coming you guys (especially teachers!).
Otherwise I'd have some pretty dim innuendos.
The year of the dog has been quite.. Ruff ruff
Otherwise the #metoo movement would have been awkward.
I just wish my kidneys became adultneys
It is so much more fun when you’re cheating on your wife
Half the seats have already been snapped up.
But why every day?
If they're good, they suck. If they're bad, they suck.
It only took a million years.
Right before he died...
I guess good things comes to those who weight.
Everything is so "lit" these days
The forecast called for scat showers
Otherwise, it'd be a letdown.
http://imgur.com/bPKST9H
http://imgur.com/6kIrWp5
They always deliver
It's pretty handy
That everyone reading this is on the same page.
Otherwise I'd have some pretty dim innuendos.
...it comes in pretty handy
