How do you make a candle happy?
Blow it out. Then it will be de-lighted!
I'm thinking of starting a candle making company.
My family doesn't think it's a good idea, but I keep assuring them it makes scents.
I just got a new job in a factory making plastic Draculas. There are only two of us on the production line
so I have to make every second count.
I'm pretty good at history but I recently read about a Nazi war criminal who I'd never heard of before.
His name didn't ring any Gö- bells.
I googled "What can you make with 50kg of sulfur?"
I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.
The jokes weren’t that good, but I liked the execution.
How do you make the candles on your cake really happy?
Just blow them out! They'll be delighted!!
Why do chickens only make one type of sound?
They can't think outside the bawks-
I have a friend with no social skills and a Ph.D in the history of palindromes.
Was making a bunch of math puns and was threatened to get punched so sent this
My son found some cans of corn used for making grits at the store. He asked if it would hurt if he dropped some on my foot.
There's been a lot of people who aren't Dad's making Dad jokes on here recently. If you're not a Dad you shouldn't be making Dad Jokes.
What parts of a fish are used to make candles?
They should make a film series about a guy who uses candles as weapons.
What is the hardest part of making skimmed milk?
Throwing the cows across the lake 🥁
What Type of Bees Make Milk?
The two men stared intensely at each other over the chessboard, neither one making a move. Suddenly, one of the men gasped in horror and shouted, "How is this possible? You must be taught by the Soviets!"
The other smirked and replied, "Czech, mate."
I thought I heard news of a country making money out of soft pear-shaped fruits with sweet dark flesh and many small seeds...
But I guess it was a fig mint of my imagination.
Did you know that Olive branch is a symbol of peace. People were using olive branch during the history to declare truce by giving it to their enemies
If you are wondering how I know this, it's because olive random trivia
What type of key makes it harder to unlock your front door?
My wife always make a big deal out of her periods .
I'd say she is ovary-acting .
One of my cousins is thinking of becoming a Dominican monk. I think he was drawn to their decision making process.
Those Dominicans have quite the republic.
I found it completely inappropriate that the priest was making fun of me during my confession...
...I should have known, since he was wearing Mock-a-sins.
I just watched a documentary on the history of the WD-40.
Guys, make your woman feel special. Place a framed photo of her in the kitchen...
....and write "EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH" on top.
What kind of meat does a cow high on marijuana make for?
I hear that they’re making the skunkiest beer of all time by using real skunk spray.
They’re calling it an I.P.U.
Doctor, Doctor, every time I take a picture of myself, the bottom of the picture is always foggy. It’s making me really fed up.
That’s because you have low selfie steam.
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!
What type of dog makes the best magician?
A Jewish man was making tea for a group of his friends
Everyone enjoyed the tea that he brew
My weekend project was to make a maze out of kitchenware
I call it pan’s labyrinth.
I've recently started writing an Ebook about the history of citrus fruits.
It's nowhere near finished, but the first chapter's on lime.
I thought I could make a decent living taking photos of the jousting spears that the Renaissance Fair was handing out
Turns out being a free lance photographer isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
What kind of alcohol makes your butt feel cold.
I told my girlfriend I was making a car out of spaghetti.
She told me to grow up and stop being an idiot. You should have seen her face as I drove pasta.
What is the name of the assassin that only kills candles?
What kind of bees make milk?
My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta
Today I read a pamphlet on the history of incandescent bulbs...
What do you call a Patrick who makes paintings out of goulash?
Giving Sub Zero the Mr Freeze quotes makes him not just the coolest of freezy puns, but the frozen one as well.
You can learn a lot of things when making a rose garden
I learnt that I don’t feel like making a rose garden any time soon.
I’m reading a book on the history of glue....
I can’t seem to put it down.
I'm thinking of starting a candle making company.
My family doesn't think it's a good idea, but I keep assuring them it makes scents.
I'm thinking of starting a candle making company.
My family doesn't think it's a good idea, but I keep assuring them it makes scents.
I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.
The jokes weren't that good ,but I liked the execution
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