Harry Stott Puns

I probably missed some. Let me know. I'll try to update but don't expect too much because I'm lazy.

Atlanta Hawks

Teams believe that Hawks are seeking 1st round pick for Cam Reddish

Boston Celtics

- Rival teams expect the Celtics to open talks around Dennis Schroder

Note: Things aren't working out for the Celtics this year. Currently having a record of 13-14, changes are bound to be made. Everyone knows Schroder is playing for a contract and the Celtics won't offer him one. Hopefully, this means more playing time and minutes for Payton Pritchard who showed glimpses of his game last year.

Brooklyn Nets

- There is "renewed optimism" that Kyrie Irving will return

Note: I read somewhere that the Nets might allow Kyrie Irving to play for the team but only for road games. The Nets have 31 games remaining on their schedule. He's worth it in leagues with IL+. It will be interesting for leagues without IL+ as he can be a high end streamer.

Charlotte Hornets

- None

Chicago Bulls

- None

Cleveland Cavaliers

- Collin Sexton to the Pacers?

Dallas Mavericks

- None

Denver Nuggets

- Not a trade rumor but Isaiah Thomas signed for their G-league Affiliate

Detroit Pistons

- Lakers and Blazers interested in Jerami Grant

Golden State Warriors

- None

Houston Rockets

- John Wall

Indiana Pacers

- Levert and Sabonis/Turner on the trade block

Los Angeles Clippers

- None

Los Angeles Lakers

- Lakers interested in Jerami Grant and Ben Simmons

Memphis Grizzlies

- None

Miami Heat

- None

Milwaukee Bucks

- None

Minnesota Timberwolves

- None

New Orleans Pelicans

- None

New York Knicks

- None

Oklahoma City Thunder

- None

Orlando Magic

- Terrence Ross for 1st round pick?

Note: I

Almost since he was drafted in 2013, one pick after Trey Burke, but 5 picks before Giannis, CJ has been a divisive figure in Blazer fandom. Perhaps more than any other, he represents the Olshey era: Olshey has stuck with him and created the best possible circumstances for his success (trading Wesley Matthews, basically never acquiring a real backup point guard) through thick and thin, despite it never looking like two small, non-defending guards could form a championship backcourt. Terry Stotts did his best to maximize his two best scorers, producing a top three offense alongside a bottom three defense. Finally Stotts was scapegoated for a disappointing 2021 playoffs and in comes Billups, with the professed goal of improving the defense and ball movement. Well, guess who's the primary barrier to both? So the calls for CJ to be traded get louder just as his primary defender is on the hot seat. But the trouble is, who'd want him? For a brief, glorious moment there, both Blazer and Sixer fandoms were in accord that CJ and Ben Simmons should simply be swapped, but it never looked likely that Morey was on board even if Olshey was. A couple of years ago, a CJ for Tobias Harris trade sort of made sense, but Harris's defense has gotten better, and the Sixers picked up Seth Curry, and had Maxey explode on them, and any faint chance evaporated. So CJ's not going to the Sixers. So... where? Are you a fan of a different team who would like CJ? What's the most you'd give up for him? (And please, sensible suggestions: the Blazers are not taking back John Wall or Kevin Love.)

I should say that I'm kind of a fan of CJ: he's a great person and has genuinely special offensive talents, especially given the flawed physical package he has to work with. He is the very definition of crafty and a very efficient shooter who can get a shot almost as well as anyone, and has an elite handle. There was a time before he got injured last year when his "real plus-minus" was top three in the entire league. But... He's PG sized, not a great athlete, poor defensively and you don't want him as your PG for long stretches because his court vision is not great and he has a tendency to call his own number first.

Seems to me that there are a few teams that might be tempted (although not really one who needs CJ), and a few players we might get back that would improve the Blazers (it helps that we've got Anfernee Simons and Norm Powell ready to cover all the SG minutes if CJ goe

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Hope people still enjoy these posts every year. Back again to update it all (short) offseason long.

Last year's post

UFA - Unrestricted Free Agent
RFA - Restricted Free Agent
TO - Team Option
PO - Player Option
ETO - Early Termination Option
S&T - Sign & Trade

(INT) - Playing Internationally
(FA) - Ended last season not on an active roster

####ATLANTIC

Boston Celtics

Coach: Brad Stevens Ime Udoka

Picks: 45 Juhann Begarin

UFA: Tacko Fall (CLE) | Semi Ojeleye (MIL) | Tremont Waters (MIL)

Trades: Carsen Edwards (MEM) | Tristan Thompson (SAC) | Kemba Walker (OKC)

S&T: Evan Fournier (NYK)

Training Camp Cuts: Ryan Arcidiacono | Chris Clemons | Luke Kornet | Garrison Mathews | Juwan Morgan | Jabari Parker | Theo Pinson

Brooklyn Nets

Coach: Steve Nash

Picks: 27 Cameron Thomas | 29 Day'Ron Sharpe | 44 Kessler Edwards | 49 Marcus Zegarowski | 59 RaiQuan Gray

UFA: Chris Chiozza (GSW) | Jeff Green (DEN) | Mike James (INT) | Tyler Johnson | Timothe Luwawu-Cabarrot (ATL) | Reggie Perry (TOR)

Trades: DeAndre Jordan (DET) | Landry Shamet (PHX)

S&T: Spencer Dinwiddie (WAS)

Waived: Alize Johnson (CHI) | Jahlil Okafor (ATL)

Training Camp Cuts: Jordan Bowden | Bryce Brown | Devontae Cacok | Josh Gray | Brandon Rachal | Edmond Sumner

New York Knicks

Coach: Tom Thibodeau

Picks: 25 Quentin Grimes | 34 Rokas Jokubaitis | 36 Miles McBride | 58 Jericho Sims

UFA: Reggie Bullock (DAL) | Jared Harper (NOP) | Frank Ntilikina (DAL) | Elfrid Payton (PHX) | Theo Pinson (BOS)

Waived: Norvel Pelle

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

At work, I have a workstation.

edit: cheers u/cheer_up_richard

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

When I got home, they were still there.

I won't be doing that today!

Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.