Would the guy who welcomes new members still be called an inductor?
He was haulinβ oats.
Heβs a carpet runner.
The police have nothing to go on.
It's a hall monitor.
A-coo-sticks
They kept coming over singing those damn Christmas carols. Bah humbug!
Naturally
I'm cloisterphobic
Harmonic Re-zone-ance
Heβs a Night Mayor
Because they cantaloupe.
There was so much history between us.
An operate!
Borough Hall
I didnβt know i was that out of touch
Al Kaline
Cool. Feed my horse.
Everyone's out there trying to Deck the Halls.
Every time I walk by she says, βWhat an Ass.β
Me being half baked asked how else would he get to his room?
Awkward silence for about 5 seconds then the dealer starts laughing and then everyone else. I got complimented on my dad joke.
Iβm not dad, Iβm just baked.
Hollow Notes
Hello everyone. Today, a 72-year-old man named Mike came into my office. Mike blessed me with many gifts, a sampling of which I would like to share with you all here.
First, Mike asked how I was. I said "good, how are you?" Mike: I had a dream last night I was a muffler. And when I woke up it scared me because I was exhausted.
Mike also has an ex wife. "My Ex wife was so ugly her mom made her go trick or treating by telephone so she didnβt scare the other children."
Not just one ex wife, Mike has two ex wives. "My ex wife was so ugly I used to take her to work with me so I didnβt have to kiss her goodbye"
Mike does a lot of work for various charities. "I asked the lady at a restaurant if I could post my flyer for an event in the window. She said 'that depends, are you a non-profit?' I said 'lady I've got two ex wives, I haven't had profit in 30 years!'"
Those darn ex wives. "Iβm so poor a pick pocket tried to rob me the other day and all he got was practice."
Mike actually came to my office to tell me about a basketball camp he's putting on next week. He's been playing basketball for 64 years. "I was a great athlete in high school. I was voted most valuable player by all the cheerleaders."
There was one girl though who got away. "There was a girl who lived down the street and I used to call her all the time and say 'Sarah, can I come over?' and she'd say no. So one day she called & said βMike, come over, nobody's home.β So I went to her house and she was right, there wasnβt anybody there."
That girl may be why he didn't play baseball. "I played football, basketball and track. Someone asked me 'Mike, why didn't you play baseball?' I said 'because I was already so good at striking out!'"
Anyways, Mike went on to have a lengthy career in TV and radio, until he didn't. "I had to quit my job for medical reasons. My boss said I made her sick."
Thank you for your time.
They always vote neigh.
9 Inch Nails
She was B 10 and robbed.
βSighs doesnβt matter, guys!β
https://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/aqpdep/if_at_first_you_dont_succeed/egho6hb?context=1
Me: "Do you know if they are rejecting any trees at the firehall this year?"
Wife: "No...? I haven't heard anything"
Me: "I guess they still have an o-PINE door policy!"
Wife: "I hate you so much right now"
Apex Legends
I dont like tractors any more
Eh, they had their shot.
βThere is? Well what are you waiting for? Use it to try to kill that black thing flying around.β
They were haulin' oats
..."Don, we now are gay apparel."
The Script and will.i.am could be your flatmates
She had con-troll issues.
http://imgur.com/gallery/Pbr9o
There was too much history between us.
I was too self conscious to say hello.
I mean there was all this history between us!
