Hallelujah
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👤︎ u/Lams1d
📅︎ Jun 27 2020
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I heard that the jalapeño finally finished school.

He is now known as Dr. Pepper

👍︎ 198
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👤︎ u/Fanoran
📅︎ Nov 20 2020
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Water and cheese used to be a popular party dish

But the cheeses kept turning the water into wine.

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📅︎ Aug 05 2020
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What’s Gods favorite chord?

Gsus of course.

👍︎ 25
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📅︎ Feb 16 2019
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[Request] Tubas and Classic Rock

Every year for the past few years, I’ve written music for a tuba ensemble for a summer band camp. Last year’s music was titled “TubaChristmas in July,” which had “Hallelujah” by Pentatonix, “Carol of the Bells,” “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch,” and “Have Yourself a Merry TubaChristmas.” This year I’m about 90% sure we’re doing rock/classic rock. So far I have “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen, “Paint It, Black” by The Rolling Stones, “Livin’ on a Prayer” by Bon Jovi, “Don’t Stop Believin’” by Journey, and some fifth song I haven’t chosen yet (BTW I’m open to song ideas).

I need a pun that mixes Tuba with Rock or with Classic Rock. Similar to how TubaChristmas in July doesn’t include song names, but you know it’s Christmas music on tubas.

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📅︎ Feb 20 2019
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What did the pastor say when a bunch of chickens flew into his backyard?

"It's raining hen, hallelujah!"

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📅︎ Dec 27 2017
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Baking on Easter Sunday

Crust is risen! Hallelujah!

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👤︎ u/dom111
📅︎ Apr 05 2015
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Why did The Weather Girls join the military academy?

They're training men! Hallelujah! They're training men! Amen!

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👤︎ u/_itnoc_
📅︎ Dec 12 2017
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A man goes to buy a horse (long)

So he finds the man who owns the horse. The owner takes him to the stable. The buyer asks to take the horse for a test ride.

 

"Okay," says the owner. "But I'm a retired church pastor. The horse will only go forward if you say, 'Praise the lord.' He will only stop moving if you say 'Hallelujah.' "

 

Feeling annoyed, the buyer says "That's fine," and he gets up on the horse. After the seller returns to the house, the buyer, mounted on the horse, whips the reins and says, "Hiyah!!" The horse doesn't move. "Yah," he said, spurring the horse. Still no movement. Feeling a little embarrassed and stupid, he complied to the owner's instruction. "Praise the Lord," he mumbled, and the horse began quickly trotting away from the stable.

 

Wow, the buyer thought, excited. I wonder how fast this horse can go. "Praise the Lord," he said, this time at normal volume. The horse sped up considerably.

 

Amazing! I must have this horse! the buyer thought. "Praise the Lord!" he shouted. "Praise the Lord!" And the horse kept speeding up. The stable behind them was no longer visible.

But the horse and the buyer were speedily approaching a huge canyon. Seeing this ahead, the buyer commanded, "St- stop! Whoaaa, horse!" But the horse kept the charge forward. "Hallelujah!" the buyer shouted. And the horse stopped at the edge of the vast canyon, with only inches of ground to spare.

Looking up to the sky, the buyer sighed in relief. "Praise the Lord."

👍︎ 2
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📅︎ Jun 27 2017
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