The Monk and The Cow

A monk sits at the peak of a hill that overlooks where the grassy Earth meets a river, the river flows with a breeze, and the breeze explores a mountain range, and the mountains neighbor the sky, and the sky conceals the entire universe, hiding the unknown in plain sight. The monk exhales "Ooooomm". He repeats this until a noise, very faint, breaks his chant.

"moo."

The monk stops for a moment but, without changing his position, dismisses it. "Ooooooommm." He begins again.

He's interrupted again, "moooo."

The monk turns to find a cow looking up at him from the bottom of the hill. "Kind cow," the monk says, "please do not interrupt my meditation."

The cow stares blankly back at the monk. The monk sighs and continues.

"Oooooommmm-"

Even louder, "Mmmooooooooo."

"Dear cow, I must reach enlightenment. Please, refrain from making your cow noises or find another hill."

The monk continues again, "Oooooooommmm-"

"MMMmmoooooooooooO!" The cow exclaims.

The monk stands up angrily, "Cow! Why must you interrupt my chanting?"

The cow replies, "Because you're saying it backwards!"

👍︎ 9
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📅︎ Oct 09 2020
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How does a dog say thank you?

It rubs its butt on the grass. That way it's a grassy ass.

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📅︎ Aug 25 2020
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My 7yo cousin told my dad this joke yesterday:

Context: Yesterday my dad and I were cruising around doing some father's day bonding. We see a big grassy field with some trees in it and he says, "That looks like a great place to play frisbee." I respond, "And an even better place to play frisbee golf!" (A game we made up where you throw frisbees around trees)

My cousin was quietly playing on her iPad when she responds, "That's hockey."

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👤︎ u/lindsbo
📅︎ Jun 22 2020
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I let the Spaniard know he had a little green stain on the back of his shorts.

He let me know what it was when he replied, "grassy ass".

👍︎ 10
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👤︎ u/Dasvott
📅︎ Oct 10 2019
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What did the Spaniard say after sex outside?

Grassy ass?

👍︎ 51
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📅︎ Nov 28 2017
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After 12 years, I finally got an old dad joke my dad made when I was learning Spanish as a kid

I was about 8 at the time and asked

me: "Dad, what does gracias mean in Spanish?"

Dad: "It means fell over"

me: "Okay, thank you"

Got it wrong with my homework, and finally it dawned on me with the joke he made

👍︎ 2
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📅︎ Sep 19 2014
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I have to live with this...

Driving along with my dad in his land rover.

He turns to me and says: "Do you want to go off road?" "Yes" I reply

Dad proceeds to mount the grassy verge with one wheel for about 3 seconds before returning to the road. Dad laughs manically for about 5 minutes.

👍︎ 185
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👤︎ u/myers_jr
📅︎ Mar 23 2014
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Got my wife today

We were driving through a suburb on the other side of town, and there was a large grassy area in between the houses that had horses. Me: Gee theses houses have some nice neighbours. Wife:..... no. ....

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👤︎ u/Spartica
📅︎ Nov 03 2014
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Gym teacher pulls a dad joke

I was in Elementary School at the time of this joke, and it still makes me chuckle thinking back on it. My teacher had us running a couple of laps around the school's grassy field. I always had breathing problems, what I'm assuming is mild asthma although it's never been diagnosed. I ran up to the teacher after running a few minutes and told him I lost my breath. He asked something along the lines of, "Well do you want help finding it?" He made the entire class search the ground for my breath. One equally sarcastic child brought me the empty wrapper to a Rice Crispy treat. Oh how I loved that teacher.

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👤︎ u/DarkSmarts
📅︎ Apr 15 2014
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