Going to be driving back to see the family over the festive period. This always makes me think of that Chris Rea song...
... The Road to Hell (part 2)
you sea, to this day, they are still going back and forth with water puns.
There are parts on Spain that I keep going back to.
I was going to tell a joke about when I had to put my fence back in the ground
But then I realized it was a repost
I thought I was going to have to pay for an app dedicated to playing "If I Could Turn Back Time".
But luckily it was Cherware
My wife told me if I’m going to stay home , then start doing “lunges” to get back in shape.
This would be a big step forward for me.
I just got back from the annual alarm clock convention, and I'm never going again
It was a total snooze-fest
I'm going to get the entire history of me tattooed on my back.
I was in a bar last night and this dude said to me, “I’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar!" I growled back...
My son has recently taken up an interest in music. We're constantly going back and forth trying to stump the other with trivia. He thought he had me when he chorused, "Hey, dad, what genre are national anthems?!" I laughed, "That's easy!"
In a surprising announcement the government has stated with all the issues recently instead of going forward in time we will go back 2 years...
Three months without a haircut, my hair has gotten so long I’ve been brushing it straight back to disguise its length. Today my wife asked, “Are you ever going to get a haircut?”
I replied, “I’ll mullet over.”
Hey son, your mom is going back to tax accounting and I’m going to open a mortuary, know what we are going to call it?
Ill be going back home from holiday tommorow...
All week its going to be 27°C
Im going to miss the temperature
To a certain Degree!!!
Chinese rocket remanats are going to fall back to earth this weekend
Back to not going to the gym I suppose.
2000’s kids are generation Z and 80’s-90’s kids are generation Y, if we keep going back we get to generation U.
If you have wine from that time is it genuine?
People used to laugh when I bought vinyls whilst they bought CDs. Now CDs are going away and vinyls are coming back in..
One may say that the tables have turned.
Back when ww3 was scary, this pun was going around, still funny tho xD
My wife is finally going to watch Back to the Future
I told her it's about time.
I bought a copy of MS Office, but I dropped it on the road going back to my car...
...well, that's the Word on the street.
In honor of my father for Father’s Day, I’m going to tack you back to the 1990’s. This is rural southern America please read in southern accent.
Me: Daddy I’m thirsty!
My dad: Hi thirsty I’m Fridy lets go Saturdy and get a Sundy.
I’m sure it’s not original but it makes me laugh to think of how I was making my dad insane asking for a DRIIINNNKKK and he would always come back with this.
What is going through carwash with windows down and dog in back seat?
My dad when going back to university...
Dad: I got an A on my essay!
Me: That's really good dad
Dad: Yea it's a good start, but what other letters should I use?
A college kid finished up his spring semester and is going back home to see his parents.
Son: Hey Dad! It’s great to see you again, I like your new beard.
Dad: Thanks son. When I first stopped shaving I didn’t like it, but then it grew on me.
I just told my dad I’m going to take a shower, he says “don’t forget to put it back when you’re done.”
My wife thinks it's really funny to stick first class stamps to my back. I've asked her when she's going to stop.
She says she'll keep me posted
My fiance is going back to school
She was originally going to school for radiography but has changed her mind and decided to go a different route
Her: "I'm going to major in Kinesiology."
Me: "What's that?"
Her: "It's the study of the human body with relation to movement and fitness."
Me: "That sounds neat. What do you already know about it?"
Her: "Next to nothing. But I also don't know Chemistry. Well, except for the basics."
Me: "What about the acids?"
What is heavy going forward and not going back.
"I'm going to the store to get some cigarettes, I'll be right back"
Studies show when car-pooling, when going through a tunnel, people who sit in the back are shown to experience more anxiety.
Scientists call it "car-pool tunnel syndrome"
I bought a magnet, but it keeps going from happy to sad and back
My son said, 'I'm going to text my girlfriend back.'
I said, 'Why on earth is your girlfriend called Back?'
Cache registers are going to be the only thing Robot Johnny's memory has to look back on
My friend was self councious about his arm and back fat so he started going to the gym.
The results were a real weight off his shoulders.
At work my boss said something that offended me. And when he wouldn't retract it, I walked out and I'm never going back, I'm through with that place. You know what he told me !!!
Why are you going to the back doctor, Quasimodo?
Apple is ditching SSDs and going back to spinning disks
Tim Cook claims they're revolutionary.
I am going to get a tattoo of a cigarette on my back...
That way it will be a bad habit tat.
For work I give tours of local national parks. After taking a holiday, going back to work was...
Going back to what started this sub...
My wife grabbed my butt this morning as she went out the door announcing, "I'll be back, I'm going to check the mail."
"I think you already did!" I replied.
Does it count if my little kids didn't get it?
When the person who invented the drawing board couldn't quite get it right, what did he keep going back to?
Well there's no going back now.
http://i.imgur.com/7jW91R7.jpg
Was in a bar when this guy said to me, “I’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar!” I shot back...
My wife is finally going to watch Back to the Future.
I told her it's about time.
Me: Just going out but I'll be back.
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