Why does the king bring his toilet to the poker game?

To secure a royal flush.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Guggera
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2021
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I don't understand why so many people hate the Night King from Game of Thrones

He looks pretty chill to me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rahull95
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
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[Game of Thrones reference] What does Daenerys Targaryen call King Robert Baratheon when he's going out to eat ramen?

The Uslurper

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xavier86
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2016
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I was playing chess with my friend and he said, "let's make this interesting."

So we stopped playing chess.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2022
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*Puts a burger king crown on the gaming console*

Look, now it's the Royal Wii.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sharra_Blackfire
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2013
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Emerson, Lake, and Palmer walk into a bar . . .

Picture it. June, 1971. London.

Keith Emerson, Greg Lake and Carl Palmer are celebrating the release of their album Tarkus at the Seven Stars Pub.

Very quickly, both ELP and their BACs are riding high.

Nothing can spoil this evening.

Enter King Crimson, their bitter rivals in experimental jazz-fusion symphonic rock.

A chill hits the air, but they manage some level of civility.

Fripp even manages to put aside his seething anger at Lake for defecting to Emerson's new project and stands a round for all.

It's unclear exactly when Hawkwind arrives, but the strained emotions soon give way to genuine cheer and good will.

Lemmy, their basist at the time, could have that effect on people.

Unfortunately, he also later looks directly at Lake, points at Fripp and company and asks, "Waren't you wiv his lot?"

The police report explains that the ensuing fracas lasted for about 30 minutes at caused at least Β£4,500 (Β£56,604.93 in 2021, or $78,480.75) in damages, several broken bones and uncounted stiches.

The scrum finally calms down after Peter Gabriel, who was [throwing darts](https://darthelp.com/articles/the-history-of-darts/#:~:text=M

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RevRob330
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2021
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I walked downstairs this morning and my mom said "You're up!"

My dad then proceeded to say "Asia!" Of course we were confused so then he said "What? I thought we were naming continents."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThePatata
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2015
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Studying Spanish and these are the puns I've come up with so far.

English and Spanish.

The Trump administration is making a game out of getting Latinos out of the country, they call it deporte.

Spanish heathens have to pay extra to preforn their ceremonies. Pagan rituals

What sci-fi weapon does the King of Spain prefer? A rey-gun!

Do you know how many times anyone had to tell me how to say 'eleven' in Spanish? Once.

Exclusivamente en espaΓ±ol (PerdΓ³n por errores gramaticales)

QuΓ© comida es el mas mojado? El agua-cate

Cual comida no puede decir una mentira? La verdadura

Como se llama un libro sobra la revoluciΓ³n? Libre!

QuΓ© es exactamente una mejor que Beyonce? Beydoce

Cual animal siempre tiene un novio o novia? El Parejaro.

Cual comida es el menos diverido? Aburrito.

Sobre que papel de pelicula de Madonna no le quiere hablar? Evita!

Quiero que me digΓ‘is mas. Nunca tengo suficiente bromas!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DankOfTheEndless
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2017
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Puns for Kids

The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.

Puns for Kids

Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!


What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!


Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.


What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!


Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.


The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.


How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.


What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!


No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.


Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!


What musical is about a train conductor? β€œMy Fare, Lady”.


A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.


What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.


What animals are on legal documents? Seals!


Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!


Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.


Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!


How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!


Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!


Dockyard: A physician’s garden.


What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!


The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.


β€œWhat’s purple and 5000 miles long?” β€œOoh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!”


Every calendar’s days are numbered.


This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. β€œFour bucks,” says the bartender. β€œPut it on my bill.”


I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.


What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!


When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When he’s a dandelion (dandy lion).


Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.


A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
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A hornbill in a rainforest...

A hornbill in a rainforest screeched triumphantly! β€œHahaha I am the king of the birds for I have the biggest beak.” He sat on his branch smugly, smiling to himself when another bird with an extraordinary beak landed beside him and scoffed,β€œToucan play at that game.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ASquishyWorm
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
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dadjoked my sister on the phone

My sister and I are meeting at the kings game and she calls me to see where I am. I am passing Adams Blvd. and noticed the humor if you say Adams backwards.

Sis: where are you? Me: passing Adams Sis: what? Me: I'm passing "Smada" Sis: what's "Smada" Me: Nothing, what's "Smada" with you?

Note: her bf heard me the first time.

I even heard him groan in the background

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2014
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