What do you call a muscular imam?

A protein sheikh!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Persian_Cat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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What do you call an Arab bodybuilder?

A Protein Sheikh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotQasimc612
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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A guy walked into a supplement store

He was looking for the protein shakes but was lost trying to find them. Thankfully, one of the employees showed him the whey.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chrisn002
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2020
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My brother has recently got into going to the gym and has brought some whey protein powder

Every time he scoops some into his protein shake I go "Are you going to weigh it out, or just scoop it?" Followed by a beautiful groan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dr00000100
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
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The Mandalorian is showing Baby Yoda around his ships.

They enter the fitness room and The Mandalorian flips a switch revealing a hidden compartment full of protein drinks.

"This is the whey."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dwarvenfriend
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
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Why do teenagers love meat so much?

Because meat is Protein...I...I should go

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πŸ‘€︎ u/irieball
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
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I pity the people who have never had a date before...

I mean, they're excellent sources of protein, fiber, and good cholesterol.

(I was talking about the fruit)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/electrocuter666
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
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So tearable

Trainer-Why aren't you progressing with your muscle building? Me- I don't take protein Its 'whey' out of my budget.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beltwithoutpajama
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2018
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I don't know what kind of meat teenagers prefer

But I do know they're protein

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Darklorel
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
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What do you call a cow having a seizure?

A protein shake

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmahler0514
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
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A bodybuilder walks into a bar and picks it up.

What did the Bodybuilder say when he ran out of Protein

Awh no Whey.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeplorableSemen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
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I don't get why so many high-schoolers are vegetarians...

I was always taught meat is protein.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zwind
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2017
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My gym buddy told me he’s going dairy-free.

When I asked if he could still have his favorite protein supplement on his diet, he said, β€œUnfortunately, there’s no whey.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zephyrcoco
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2018
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My wife out dadjoked me on the rebound

Either she's getting wise to my jokes or she's tired of them. Doesn't matter because she got me good.

We're on a low carb diet and she recently bought a cookbook. So we go out to the store and she picks up some whey protein.

"We can make pancakes with this!", says the wife.

"No whey!" I remark, holding back my schoolgirl giggle.

She rolls her eyes, "You're whey out of line this time."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Robbbbbbbbb
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2016
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My son the aspiring dad

My boyfriend wanted a protein shake and was asked me to make one. I was stalling a little bit and my son piped in "You gotta scare her first" we said what? "That's how you make a shake". I was laughing and so my son decided to keep going. He said "How do you make a napkin dance?" "You put a lil boogie in it" at that point I groaned. My boyfriend said "Quit while you are ahead" my son replied "But I'm a body"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mechchic84
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2015
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Got dad joked by my coworker

I'm sitting in our break room when I look left and see a coworker eating boiled eggs and asked him "why always with the eggs." To witch he replies "lots of protein." I'm allergic to sulfa and eggs have sulfa in them. So I told him so, and another coworker of ours looks at me and said "so you eggnore them them." Customary groans from the rest of the table.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/allover77
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2014
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dadjoked the GF in a grocery store...

My GF has trouble with lactose. We are finding more and more items that are marketed to be healthy to contain whey protein, which aggravates her stomach. It's in products you wouldn't expect it to be in either, like chips.

Anyways, after picking up and putting back a couple of things in a row and being frustrated, she said, "I can't believe all this stuff has whey in it!" to which I of course said...

"No WHEY?!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSRTgreg
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2014
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Lunch time

Was trying to figure out if I had time to go grab lunch before a deployment at work:

Me: do I have time to grab lunch before this deployment?

Coworker: Yeah definitely, go eat.

Me: Okay, cool, I was just trying to see if I could eat something more than a bag of almonds today.

Coworker: Aw but almonds are so good! They're full of protein and good stuff.

Me: Yeah, but almonds for lunch? That's nuts.

groans throughout the office

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Analog_Error
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2016
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Cheese puns (whilst waiting for a bill at a restaurant)

There's no whey they could have that much protein

You curdnt make a worse joke

Gordon rennet

I'm gonna loose my rind soon

Ewe, these puns are udderly ridiculous

You're milking it for all its worth

There's been a real montery lack of jokes recently

There's a real lactose of jokes recently

These jokes are starting to grate on me now

These jokes aren't gouda

Are you gonna put these on rennet?

I can't breelieve you're still making jokes

Dad, it's your turn, though you should have made a joke whey back

edayumDayumDAAAYUM

How much cheddar is the bill gonna be?

Hope these jokes made you truckle!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Idiosyncratinom
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2015
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Never saw my boss as a father figure until now.

I was stocking the shelves of the store, when a customers asked if we carry a certain brand of protein powder. I informed him we do not and he asked to see my boss who he complained to, afterwards my boss handed me the customer complaint form he'd filled out which read "Customer very upset that he didn't get his whey"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Glitter_Cock
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2015
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Need Pun Help!

Trying to think of a name for a shop that sells healthy protein shakes but has a hooters-like atmosphere. I am usually good with this kind of thing. But I'm all shook up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shahecooper
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2014
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Dads and their puns.

My Dad said this one at the store. "Look their protein is on sale. Some people would say no whey."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bertomcd
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2013
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Favoring adolescents is good for your muscle building...

You need protein to be in shape

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dan_Berg
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2016
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Dad makes Dad joke while mom is in hospital.

My mom was admitted to the hospital today for bilateral pneumonia. Thankfully they said just for a night so they could get some IV antibiotics in her system. Dad texted me a picture of her lunch (she has PKU so no protein allowed) http://i.imgur.com/xzcTSkT.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hjonsey
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2016
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Dad joked my meat head roommate

"Dude I forgot my protein at home!"

"No whey"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Punned_It
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2014
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No whey

Making a SOY protein shake when my dad walks in.

Dad: whatchya doing? Me: making a protein shake Dad: what kind? Me: Chocolate.

My dad picks up the large bottle of protein powder and exclaims, ' 24 grams of protein?! No whey...'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crispyjay
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2014
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Got dad joked by my muscle-head friend today

I'm new to working out and supplements and all that. I asked him if he had any suggestions for what protein to get. He responded with "let's whey the options". I should have seen that coming

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2015
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After the gym

I just got home from the gym ten minutes before my dad got home from work. He saw me stirring my protein shake in my cup: Dad: "What's in the cup?" Me: "Just a protein shake" Dad: "No whey!"

He was so proud of himself for that one

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nyrangers14
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2014
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So this actually happened to a friend of mine who works at a smoothie bar

A man came in who was "literally the most dad-looking man" my friend had ever seen. He asked for a smoothie, and when my friend asked what kind of protein he wanted, he responded, "I would like whey protein. I like to take my smoothies all the whey."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwatchmanx
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2015
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Just got dadjoked by mom...

I mention to my mother that I was low on whey protein and would need some before returning to school.

Her response: "Oh, no whey!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smorris924
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2014
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Overheard this dad joke in the cafeteria

I was sitting in the cafeteria for lunch yesterday and chatting with my fellow volunteers when one of them pulls out one of those shaker bottles that people mix up protein powder in. Hers just had water in it, but she hadn't taken out the metal shaker.

Without skipping a beat, the man on my left perks up and says, "Wow, that's some fancy spring water you've got there!"

Cue the groans.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chaiyaprovo
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2015
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What do you get when a cow has a seizure?

A protein shake

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmahler0514
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
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What do you call a muscular Arab?

A protein Sheikh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dumbledore18
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2018
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