Funeral procession Puns

Of corpse, please come to a dead stop.

Out of the corner of his eye, through the trees, one gentleman sees a funeral procession passing just outside the course.

He removes his hat, holds it to his chest, bows his head and sheds a quick tear, before taking his shot.

The other gentleman comments that he never knew he was so emotional.

First gentleman replies, "well we were married for 30 years, it's the least I can do".

One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”

The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years

My wife and I were coming home from the grocery store when we passed a funeral procession coming from the opposite direction. The hearse was just hit by another car at the intersection, to which I said, "Boy, talk about DOA!"

Groans were had and I'll be resuming my shuttling duties shortly, ferrying souls to hell with me.

I was driving my younger sister to one of her youth group meetings earlier today and I talked about how I had first seen a funeral procession that morning on the day to school. I started asking several rhetorical questions such as:

• "Where was the casket? I didn't see one carried by any of the vehicles."

• "What cemetery are they going to?"

But now here comes the gold...

"It was a long procession...I'm sure (s)he was loved." Turns toward her "Do you know what the stages of grief are? It's weird how we say the human experience is unique for everyone, but almost everyone mourns in the same way. Do you know what happens after the mourning?"

I sat there in awe after having quivered before the dad-joke incarnate in front of me when I hear in response:

"Why of course, the afternoon silly!"

Edit: I accidentally a format