Fruit anatomy Puns

Anyone know of a book or website where I could find some information on the anatomy/structure of the kiwi fruit?

blueberry, Boo Barry, "boob, 'arry!"

This post deals with Subboor Ahmad's "ideas" about the field of evolutionary biology. Some may know that Subboor Ahmad has hosted the young earth creationist Paul Nelson on his YouTube channel to debunk the science of common ancestry. For lengthy demonstrations of how Paul Nelson gets everything wrong (while misrepresenting every scientist he quotes like Eugene Koonin in the process), see here, here, here, and here. In these videos, Subboor had a bit of a concerning and quite ready tendency to accept literally any gibberish that Paul Nelson was spewing. In this post, I'll focus more specifically on how Subboor justifies his pseudoscientific creationism.

As a bit of background. Subboor is a Muslim creationist and apologist who has no clear expertise on the subject. Despite claiming to be a pursuing a philosophy of biology PhD at Birkbeck College (though he seems to have been pursuing it for quite a while now), he's been at this for many many years without ever getting anything he's said published anywhere reputable. So he just puts it out on YouTube and his blog. In a debate he handily lost against James Fodor at the timestamp 1:34:00+, he was asked to name a single scientific discovery / finding that would convince him that his creationism is wrong. He admitted he couldn't think of anything, and that the only way he'd accept evolution is if he literally first became an atheist. In other words, Subboor is rather open about the fact that there is no evidence that could compel him out of his dogma. Here, I'm debunking his blog post "Darwin’s biggest critics are evolutionary biologists".

https://subboorahmad.com/darwins-biggest-critics-are-evolutionary-biologists/

Subboor tries to show that the academic and public understanding of evolution is different, that real specialists think evolution is "just a theory" resting on baseless assumptions. But if that

The proceeding is a transcription of events as I recorded them in a digital diary.

I was jerked awake this morning by my car rocking violently as the result of a semi passing a little too close for comfort. It was still night time when I decided to pull off the road in the middle of Death Valley to get some sleep. That was 4 hours ago. Guess I needed it more than I thought, but I’m not surprised; I had been driving for almost 40 of the 55 hours that I’ve been cramped up in my car. I rubbed my eyes and put the car in gear.

My brother’s death came conveniently during my summer break making me the last remaining Pichler. I left him and my dad a year ago and went to college – community college in Brstol, just outside of Philly. I had to get as far away from them, their weirdness, their obsession with the desert, their lack of motivation to do anything with their lives, and… that mine. It was always like father-son bonding activity to go stare at the entrance of the mine, and by father-son, I mean my brother and my dad – I went with them once and watched them just stare at it for a few hours in near silence, then we left. I didn’t see the point, so I just stayed home after that.

Dad went missing the day I told him that I had received a federal loan to go to school in Pennsylvania and was found to have been involved in a hit and run five days later. He wasn’t in a car when he was hit. He seemed to be just wondering around the desert on some state road in the middle of nowhere. His body had apparently been obliterated by the collision and, at a cursory glance, unrecognizable as even human.

Unknown to me at the time, I reported him missing on the very day they found his body. It took about a week, but the state police finally put two and two together and requested DNA samples from his tooth brush and identified the body as Henry Allan Pichler, my father.

My brother, on the other hand, seemed to have just gone insane in the time between my old man’s death and his own. He was about 6 years younger than me. He was 20, but to him and my dad, I was treated as his inferior – like a younger sibling. He was caught breaking and entering in the nearest town to the house we grew up in. He had woken the inhabitants when the door to their bedroom squeaked open and there he was – knife in hand and a surprised look when they turned on their bedside lamp. He panicked and tried to flee, but tripped and landed his dumbass on the knife. That’s not what killed him though. He

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Hey, everyone!

I Favor the Villainess is one of the most thoughtful works of literature (not just OI) that I have consumed in a long time, and chapter 18 of the manga adaptation truly went beyond my wildest imaginations, realizing the introduction of the commoners’ movement (a central element of chapter 3 of the LN/act 3 of the WN) in a beautiful way.

I will try to make this analysis as generic as possible for the uninitiated who might be reading this, to whom I shall briefly explain that the setting of the story is a prestigious educational institution mostly attended by aristocrats (basically what you’ve already seen lots of times if you read Japanese OI) in a country resembling the late French monarchy, where the reincarnated MC Rae pursues the noble daughter Claire. The gist of the chapter in question is that opponents of the aristocracy gather to protest inside of the Royal Academy, which draws the attention of the student body’s predominantly noble upper echelons. This leads to a very interesting discussion about social equality that comprises the first half of the chapter. The manhwa departs from the corresponding light novel passage in certain ways – and even mostly for the better, I would argue. For those of you who own the light novel, feel free to read along starting at page 178 of the first volume.

https://preview.redd.it/ju1f38gbe3a81.png?width=551&format=png&auto=webp&s=6e71120650651394447b40d41c53414996e8b9c7

https://preview.redd.it/lr2ot0iee3a81.png?width=560&format=png&auto=webp&s=dd491be6c0bc2c5c28e7a85b7a7f164752ca9c98

https://preview.redd.it/ha7x9nxie3a81.png?width=586&format=png&auto=webp&s=5921dbdf182a35bc3d7713c45e46e81704e82faa

https://preview.redd.it/9li409bke3a81.png?width=552&format=png&auto=webp&s=1773efea81d7bd1d0802d7f70f3d658e4c91eeef

The most immediate observation to make is the question of who gets to speak in this political discussion. Now, the topic is first raised within the narrative by a commoner student talking about the oppressive nature of the aristocracy – but he is clearly not a character of importance or even just a person of his own, for he is first introduced as a protester and is then never heard from again over the course of the story. Amongst the actual character cast, there is Lambert, the heir to a wealthy merchant family who is technically present throughout most of the talks; however, he mainly plays a detached role, upholding the status quo and

Previous

#Zirak

Joseph treated us to shops, and to culinary delights, including a concerningly frozen delicacy called ice cream. Warlord Xhikaat grew sluggish when she ate hers too quickly, and we had to wait for Joseph and her suit to warm her back up.

As we were waiting, my eyes were drawn to a screen playing videos. Hmm. This must be human entertainment. Fascinating.

A human youth wearing short leg coverings fell and injured their knee. An adult female hurried over, and said, "Johnny! Oh! You skinned your knee! I just wish bandages could stay put, but you're so active, they keep coming off!"

A male in what appeared to be a fine suit of clothes stepped closer from off screen. He held up a small, bright blue bottle with a spray handle. "Have you tried Napalm™ brand polymer bandages?"

The female asked, "Napalm™ brand? But bandages just won't stay on Johnny. He's too active."

The male said, "No child is too active for Napalm™ brand polymer bandages! They're the flexible bandage that keeps dirt out, and won't come off."

The female said, "Even with water?"

The male laughed, "Even with water! Just watch!"

He knelt down, and sprayed the scraped knee with some fluid, "It goes on wet, to fit every crevice and seal the wound, then it becomes a flexible polymer seal! Apply water for a faster seal!"

He poured some water over the knee from a bottle.

The youth said, "Wow! Thanks, mister!"

The male said, "Don't thank me, thank Napalm™ brand polymer bandages! The finest in care for all the scrapes and scratches that active children get!"

An enlarged image of the product appeared on the screen as female voices sang.

🎵"Naaapaaalm™!
Nothin' heals better!
Napalm sticks to kids!"🎵

An advertisement? And these polymer bandages sounded interesting. Perhaps something like that could be used to seal cracked scales. I pulled out my personal device and made a note to ask about that later.

Joseph saw me watching the screen. "Zirak. You like our advertisements?"

I turned to him. "Yes. Those polymer bandages sound fascinating. It's not an avenue of medicine the K'tari have explored."

Joseph said, "Oh! Napalm commercials! I remember those!" His voice changed a bit.""Napalm brand polymer bandages are for your active life! Even jumping in a river won't wash Napalm away!" It really works, too. You can go swimming with those, and they don't leak or crack or anything."

I said, "If it's not

Do your worst!

They were cooked in Greece.

Prologue Previous

“Ahh, this is so good. It is a rare treat for me to have fresh fish mid-journey.”

Jokke shuddered in disgust, as Sofia and Janette looked distinctly green around the gills. Tsskaas slowly ground the fish in zir mouth into a viscous pulp, obviously reveling in the flavour.

“Any chance of a frying pan?” Jokke asked, drawing relieved glances from the ladies. “Or some kind of cookware? I could make a soup…”

“What is a frying pan?” Tsskaas asked, displaying the dozens of tiny conical teeth zie was macerating the fish with. And the macerated fish.

“That’s a metal dish with an insulated handle we use over a heat source to cook food”, Jokke said.

Aliina piped up “we use various ways of predigesting parts of our food. Cooking with heat is only one of them, but it is the most common. Using heat or chemical reactions to break down complex proteins is the basis of our ability to gain maximum benefit from minimal resources. It is the reason humans evolved to be the dominant species on Earth. We utilised tools like stone knives and fire to extract the maximum caloric return from our labour. It has shaped our dietary preferences for tens of thousands of years as a species.”

“Here we go again”, Janette said, rolling her eyes in an exaggerated manner. “We don’t need a fucking lecture on everything under the sun.”

Aliina started to say something, and stopped herself. She looked down quietly and you could almost see her shrinking into herself.

“I, for one, found that very interesting”, Jokke said. “I didn’t know that, but it does make sense”

“So you wish to heat your food prior to consumption?” Tsskaas inquired. “Blessing, can you arrange something?”

What level of heat would you require? I have a few ideas that produce differing levels of heat.

“Well, an oven maxes out at 280, and stoves have to be at least double that for cooking as fast as they do, so anywhere between 500-800 degrees would be great.”

…

…

The silence stretched out for a while.

*Are you referring to Kelvin or Celsius?”

“Celsius, of course. No one really uses Kelvin in everyday conversation.”

…

…

*The best I can do is an exchange manifold in main engineering, that goes to about 400 degrees Celsius. It is thermally shielded and the reaction heat is bled off and used to heat a lot of the interior of t

We've seen the memes where a fruit or veggie be looking thicc or something's shadow looks like certain parts of the female anatomy, but what SFW things remind you of your significant other in another way, maybe in a song you heard or the fragrance from a coffee shop or anything else?

1. It's natural - my ancestors have been eating plants for hundreds of thousands of years [1][2][3][4][5], so why should I do any different?
2. There are many nutrients you just can't get easily from animal products - fibre, obviously, and am I going to eat hunks of raw liver to get vitamin C? [6] I think not.
3. If we didn't eat them, plants would overrun us (or maybe go extinct, I haven't figured this one out yet). Regardless, do you really want to see the day that soybeans enslave us? Basically, I'm doing humanity a huge favour.
4. If it wasn't for us farming them, plants wouldn't get to live in the first place.
5. It's the food chain. I did not evolve to be an apex predator (I mean this quite literally: I'm not an apex predator [7]) just to avoid eating the lowliest creatures on the food chain.
6. It's impossible to be 100% non-vegan. Even if you only eat animal products, what do you think the animals are eating? That's right: plants. Hypocrite.
7. Pol Pot ate meat, and I don't want to be like him.
8. If I were stranded on a desert island and the only thing to eat was plants, obviously I would eat the plants. So it only makes sense to do the same in non-extreme situations.
9. I base my actions on those of wild animals - cows don't eat meat, so why should I?
10. Many farmer's jobs rely on people eating plants - think what would happen to the vegetable farmers if I didn't eat vegetables. And we all know that the consumer is required to act in a way that preserves as many jobs as possible.
11. It's more expensive to eat meat [8][9].
12. God says I should eat plants [10].
13. We have the same anatomy as frugivores [11], so we can live on plants, and ability to do something automatically means that you should.
14. If meat-eaters don't want to eat plants so m

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

I think my pet snails are the most fascinating creatures I have ever seen. I have two Mystery snails and a Nerite snail and the Mysteries are very very playful. Which is a trait I never expected to see in something we usually associate with being, well, sluggish and slow and simple minded. Some believe everything they do is food motivated but I have been observing ones online and my own and that’s simply not true! They continually climb up the highest heights and jump off as if paragliding. They sit in the stream of a water filter and stretch their bodies just to feel the neat feeling. (Can relate.)

I had only originally got one to be a mate for my fish, who didn’t have much of a personality imo. In comparison anyway. Plus snails are SO forgiving. They eat seriously anything and if u forget? They have algae on the tank walls to eat. But apparently there’s a HUGE amount of fruits and veggies they eat as well as specialty foods called Snello which is a blend of calcium and delicious proteins and veggies, mushed together then frozen in a shape.

I am so surprised at how amazing they are. I never expected to be so in love with such an odd creature. I am also learning the intricate anatomy of them as well. The Operculum that can seal them in their shells for protection and keep them moist. The syphon that extends far beyond their body to collect air. The bodies themselves are HUGE when they completely stretch out too. The way their sideways mouths are, is so fun to see. Little mlems. I also learned their vision is quite poor. (Can also relate)

I have even heard some like to be hand fed.

Ok ok. Thank you for listening. I feel much better now.

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

Disclaimer, this is a fanfic only, all credit belongs to u/BlueFishcake alone.

also this is my first time self editing so f anything is messed up or if there's an error please leave a comment

if dialogue is Bold they're talking in Trade Shil and if dialogue is Italicized then the MC is talking internally to his AI

First / Prev - NSFW / Next

The Waking

Date point: 7 months, 9 Days - After Invasion

Location: Formally Heathrow International Airport - Currently the Imperial HQ of European Operations

It’s a bright sunny afternoon and Imizael’s personal craft has landed, but its occupants are still nestled in around the still sleeping human, as while they’re enjoying the situation they have to face reality.

As the silence it distured by Miralana’s Omni-pad vibrating, she slowly extercates herself from the pile and retrieving it, the other three give her a questioning look as she whispers a curse “Oh Damn” now wearing a pissed off expression “we’ve got that meeting soon.”

Both Gly’nrie and Shal’endra are now fully awake with a look of panic as they realise that they’ll have to get back to London, as their volume increases, Imizael shushes them and hisses “You can use the Comm suite in the main room!,” Gly’nrie and Shal’endra slowly rose and the three were about to walkout into the main room until there's the sound of Imizael snapping her fingers to get their attention.

They turned as one and saw her pointing at the personal cleansing unit, and whispered “Get cleaned up first and you can use my clothes” this seemed to relieve the trio as they lumbered their way over and in turn whispered their ‘thanks’.

Some time later they emerged and raided her wardrobe and made their way out, as a technician waited for them to get set up.

--

At about the same time elsewhere.

In a conference room of an nondescript office block in London's Shil’vati District a number of older human males and females were mingling about, these few are the last surviving members of the Government of Great Britain & Northern Ireland w

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.