Gravity, one of the most basic forces in the Universe. But then again, if you remove it...

You still have Gravy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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What do you call it when Apple forces children in China to work for minimum wage?

iMoral

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zak-Ive-Reddit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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It’s not that hard to get into the Naval Forces.

I mean, we were all semen at one point.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iforgotmylogins
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
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Air Force Two should have its name changed

To Spare Force One

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alexthebeast
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
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Our front door was locked, so I tried to force it open.

My wife said, β€œYou are not a Jedi, just use the goddamn key.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
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What is it called when a group of US special forces go out for the night?

Seal clubbing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheViking289
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
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It was really easy to get kicked out of the Japanese air force

They had a zero Tolerance policy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BIgbluetootoo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
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Since it's called the dark side of the force...

Wouldn't it make more sense if the Sith called their weapons Darthsabers?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AssassinJ2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
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Did you hear about the hurricane that lost its force?

It was disgusted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HailAtlantis
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
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A friend forced me to look at a picture of mount Rushmore before it was carved.

It was unpresidented.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Croissnat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
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What Sith Lord immobilizes his victims instead of killing them?

Darth Ritis.

Edit: The Sith Lord of politeness, Darth anksalot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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Did you hear about the penny that was forced to do something against its will?

It did not give con cent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Konamicoder
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
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Why did Bilbo Baggins not want to give up the ring?

It was a force of hobbit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Suffocatedwallaby
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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Cant weigh to see their face
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πŸ‘€︎ u/prabeshdai13
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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Three boys go into a haunted house. One brought a knife, one brought a gun and one brought some cough drops

They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.

As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.

They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.

Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?

They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.

"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".

They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.

But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.

The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.

And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!

Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?

"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"

In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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Which weighs more, a gallon of water or a gallon of butane?

A gallon of water. Butane is lighter fluid.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rathabro
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
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My 8yr old daughter got me with "I can breathe under water"

She filled a cup of water placed it on her head and began to violently and rapidly breathe in and out. The force is strong with her.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theevildave
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
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This might seemed forced, but I fear it's awakened something within me.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asmor
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2016
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This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

β€œWell” said Jeff, β€œAs I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

β€œYes of course” replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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She's got a good point
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Montelion
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
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A campsite was forced to freeze its operations for a whole day when a spiteful customer paid his entire expenses in 5 cent coins.

The campsite reports that it is the first time that they've encountered such a tent nickel difficulty.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefizzynator
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2017
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It would be a forced error imgur.com/gallery/mcHFg2s
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Morris_Less
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2014
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My daughter has been frightened lately, because I've been waking up nightly, screaming from a bad dream. (It's a dream in which I'm forced to eat Indian food for every meal...)

I told her it's just a recurrying nightmare.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yourbrotherrex
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2016
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I want to tell a Star Wars joke...

But I’m afraid it would be too forced.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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My SO and I were just discussing how our friends named their new dog Mariota or Yoda for short and he said, "I can't see that name sticking for too long...it sounds forced." Ba dum tssss.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lydell
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2016
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Nineteen Eighty-Four is such a great book

The government should force every student to read it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PygmeePony
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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Facebook has over 2 billion users, That is as big as the whole of christianity, Forget that, it is bigger than hinduism and islam. Although facebook’s messenger is probably the worst.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/obaidraf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
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Why don't blind people go skydiving

It scares the dog

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ratonacliffe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2017
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My son asked "what rhymes with orange?" I said "no it doesn't."
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thedaveabides98
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2017
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I tried to think of a good Star Wars pun

But it just felt Forced.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NEONGGUY54
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
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My Physics Teacher’s Message Today
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IAmThyDuckLord
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2018
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Is it normal for a Jedi to scale walls and obstacles with ease?

Yes, it’s parkour the force.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
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How did the Jedi fix his computer?

He force quit it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Marc_the_shell
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
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What's Darth Vader's favorite subject?

Mechanics, Because it talks about the force.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlackStonerZ
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
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My computer said my password is insecure.

Well maybe if it wasn't forced to have such strict requirements it would be more confident.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bryanBr
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
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I have a invention! It's a small edible device that would freshen your breath while simultaneously releasing a subtle and soothing A-chord. You would use the device (with the fresh breath and soothing sound) to help increase the effectiveness of apologies.

I call it:

THE A-TONE-MINT!!!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gbeeson
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2016
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Gravity's one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. What do you get when you remove it?

Gravy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
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Gravity is one of the most essential forces in the universe. What do you get when you remove it?

Gravy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flashblazer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
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Gravity is one the most fundamental forces in the universe, but when you remove it, you get gravy.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. What do you get when you remove it?

Gravy.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
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Gravity's one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. What do you get when you remove it?

Gravy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
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