Pun Request: Foot
I need to write a bit about "digital footprints" for a class.
I figured I should throw a few foot puns in to spice things up.
However, soon I found that trouble was afoot.
I'm starting to run dry and am close to being dead on my feet.
Can I get a few extra hands (and feet) to throw in some ideas?
Toe/heel/knee puns also welcome.
True story: I was a kid, watching TV in our living room. My dad was outside using the grill. All of a sudden he bursts in the door hopping on one foot yelling “I stepped on a Bee!”
I was so concerned I jumped up and ran over to him...
Earlier that day my friend and I who were really into mountain biking had been using really sticky letters to put our names on our bikes. We were working near the general area of the BBQ.
Apparently I had dropped one...
Stuck to the bottom of my dads foot was the letter B....
A legendary dad joke from a legendary dad.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
I got the word “Ouch” tattooed on the back of my foot yesterday. My dad asked me if it still hurts.
I told him yes, but it’ll heel.
What’s a foot’s favorite month?
What’s a foot’s favorite month?
March
My six-year-old son made that up.
What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot?
Taking a picture of big foot is no small feat.
If the arch of your foot keeps hurting and there's nothing you can do about it...
Does that make it your... arch nemesis?
What is a foot long and slippery?
What has five toes but isn't your foot?
My foot.
Edit: Thanks a lot guys for the awards and upvotes. ;) :)
I ran into my nephew yesterday and said, “Wow! You must have grown a foot since I saw you last.”
He said, “Nope. Still have two.”
Foot warmers are really misnamed
Shouldn’t they be called Toesters?
What did the chemist say when he dropped a bar of gold on his foot?
I dropped a slice of meat on my foot today.
My friend lost the front part of his foot. Now I don’t like him anymore.
I’m lack-toes intolerant.
There was once a king who was only 12 inches tall!
Terrible king, but made a great ruler.
A tub of margarine fell on my foot 3 weeks a go and it still hurts.....
I can't believe it's not better.
Why can’t a nose be 12 inches?
Cuz then it would be a foot
We had a foot of snow outside today.
I don’t know who made it or who put it there, but the craftsmanship is amazing.
What is made of leather, a foot long and sounds like a sneeze?
What’s the best way to transport a giant foot?
When my grandparents came over they said: “You look like you’ve grown a foot!”
I looked down to my feet, looked back up, and told them: “No, I still have just two.”
Going to the foot doctor tomorrow.
Don't often think about my feet. They are usually the furthest thing from my mind.
What foot dont they make shoes for?
Authorities are searching for a four-foot tall woman who recently escaped from prison in upstate New York. She was serving a five year sentence for fraud after convincing a number of victims that she was a powerful psychic.
Now she's a small medium at large.
I lost a few digits recently when something heavy dropped on my foot. Today I got prosthetics for them.
Comment below if you’d like to see photos of my faux toes.
What was everyone saying about the photographer who got the prosthetic foot?
They got some new faux-toes
What has 5 toes, but isn’t your foot?
I bought a 3 foot ruler this summer...
Why did the foot stink at telling jokes?
Foot massages,
they're good for the sole.
I'm 6 foot 6 inches (~196cm) and I recently found the cause for my back problems.
Almost everyone looks up to me. Being a role model to that many people is a lot of weight for one to carry on their shoulders.
Man with 2 left feet goes into a shoe store and asks....
"Do you sell flop flops?"
I thought I was being very clever but I’ve been known to put my foot in my mouth.
Those people who refuse to date foot amputees?
They are lack toes intolerant.
Why was the Monarch only one foot tall?
Big Foot has been spotted throwing tantrums and talking back to his parents.
No wonder they call him the Sassquatch.
When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo...
I had to put my foot down.
My wife looked at my son (7) yesterday and told him his shoes were on the wrong feet
Without missing a beat he said "They can't be, these are the only feet I have"
Proud dad moment!
I got the word “Ouch” tattooed on the back of my foot yesterday. My son asked me if it still hurts.
I told him yes, but it’ll heel.
What did the cell say when it’s sister stepped on it’s foot
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
A tub of margarine fell on my foot three weeks ago and it still hurts.
I can’t believe it’s not better.
A tub of margarine fell on my Foot last week
And it's still bruised, I can't believe it's not better.
What did the chemist say when he dropped a bar of gold on his foot?
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