Eyepatch Puns

Because pirate has a single ‘i’

(Please don’t throw me overboard)

"Was it all fun and games up until that point?"

Because they didn't have free ship-ping.

8 pirates!

A pirate and a sailor were exchanging stories. The sailor pointed to the pirate’s peg leg, asking “How’d you get that?”

“Aye, I wrestled a shark and lost me leg.”

The sailor pointed to the pirate’s hook and asked “How’d you get that?”

“Aye, I fought Red Beard’s crew and lost me hand.”

The sailor then pointed to the pirate’s eyepatch, again asking “How’d you get that?”

“Aye, a bird flew by and shat in me eye.”

The sailor responded with “That’s not as impressive as the first two”.

“Aye, it was me first day with me hook.”

Part 3.

Credit to the original submitters where applicable. Thanks, dads. Credit to my daughter for being amazing.

Part 1 and part 2

It scared the crap out of me as a kid. When he babysat me he would take his glass eye out and put on an eyepatch so I wouldn’t be frightened.

Basically, when he knew I was coming, he always kept an eye out for me.

Two eyepatches.

eyepatched it

Me: You know, pirates didn't wear eyepatches because they only had one eye.

Dad: Oh? So why did they wear eyepatches then?

Me: To keep one eye in th-

Dad: Oh, that story? I thought that was a cover-up.

Ahh dad <3