Why do so many pirates wear an eyepatch?

Because pirate has a single ‘i’

(Please don’t throw me overboard)

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👤︎ u/W-eye
📅︎ Oct 27 2020
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Is it rude to go up to someone with an eyepatch and say

"Was it all fun and games up until that point?"

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👤︎ u/kickypie
📅︎ Jul 30 2019
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Why didn't the pirate buy his eyepatch online?

Because they didn't have free ship-ping.

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👤︎ u/Pdonkey
📅︎ Dec 29 2018
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What has 8 legs, 8 arms, and 8 eyes?

8 pirates!

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📅︎ Nov 18 2020
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A pirate dad joke

A pirate and a sailor were exchanging stories. The sailor pointed to the pirate’s peg leg, asking “How’d you get that?”

“Aye, I wrestled a shark and lost me leg.”

The sailor pointed to the pirate’s hook and asked “How’d you get that?”

“Aye, I fought Red Beard’s crew and lost me hand.”

The sailor then pointed to the pirate’s eyepatch, again asking “How’d you get that?”

“Aye, a bird flew by and shat in me eye.”

The sailor responded with “That’s not as impressive as the first two”.

“Aye, it was me first day with me hook.”

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📅︎ Nov 16 2020
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Dadjoke Daughter Torture 3: Still the D.A.D.

Part 3.

Credit to the original submitters where applicable. Thanks, dads. Credit to my daughter for being amazing.

Part 1 and part 2

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👤︎ u/geoffevans
📅︎ Feb 02 2017
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My grandpa had a glass eye.

It scared the crap out of me as a kid. When he babysat me he would take his glass eye out and put on an eyepatch so I wouldn’t be frightened.

Basically, when he knew I was coming, he always kept an eye out for me.

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📅︎ Dec 18 2019
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Why couldn't the young pirate see the adult movie?

Two eyepatches.

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📅︎ Aug 25 2018
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did you hear about the glitch in the pirate program?

eyepatched it

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📅︎ Feb 04 2015
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In the car this morning

Me: You know, pirates didn't wear eyepatches because they only had one eye.

Dad: Oh? So why did they wear eyepatches then?

Me: To keep one eye in th-

Dad: Oh, that story? I thought that was a cover-up.

Ahh dad <3

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📅︎ Feb 04 2015
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