No kids yet, but I have the dad joke thing down.
My fiancee and I just found out there is asbestos in our apartment. My mom texted me and asked how I was doing after she found out. I texted back "were doing asbestos we can."
drops mic exits stage left
Edit: corrected spelling of fiancee because I am a heterosexual male.
Edit: holy shit this thread is spreading like cancer.
My 6-year old son came out of his room after bedtime...again.
Kiddo : Enters stage left.
Dad : "What are you still doing awake? Go to bed."
Kiddo : "But I feel like there's something I need but I don't know what it is."
Dad : "There is something you need that you're not getting right now."
Kiddo : "What's that?"
Dad : "Sleep. Go to bed."
Kiddo : Exits stage right, sardonic expression that simply says "Dad, am not amused."I'm quietly proud of my little Dad moment..
While my wife was in the kitchen fixing a snack, (after putting our little boy down for a nap) she says:
"Did you seriously eat all the peanut butter and then put the jar back in the pantry?"
Me: Damn Skippy
As her groans became stronger, I exited stage left
