Jesus told Peter, "Come forth and ye shall have eternal life"

But Peter came fifth and won a toaster

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImmaMess13
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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Drip is eternal
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
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How would a socially awkward adult go about emerging from a lair of eternal loneliness?

(Asking for a friend)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Texas_OT
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
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Eternal Damnation
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marsroverII
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
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Bob Hope captured in the air on film. We now know for certain that Hope springs eternal.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/T618
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2015
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Jesus said unto John. Come forth and receive eternal life.

But John came fifth and won a toaster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JSmithy46
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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And god said to John β€œcome forth and ye shall receive eternal life.”

But John came in fifth and only got a toaster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/King_Arthur24
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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And god said to John, come forth and receive eternal life

But he cane fifth and won a toaster

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dildo_Swaginns
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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And the Lord said unto John "come fourth and receive eternal life"

But he came fifth and won a toaster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IwantaWeasel
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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...and God said "come forth and I will grant you eternal life."

But I came fifth and just got a toaster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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And Jesus said "Come forth and receive eternal life."

But Peter came in fifth and won a toaster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kennedystyle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
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And the Lord said unto John: Come forth and you will receive eternal life.

But John came fifth, and won a toaster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
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God said to John " come forth and receive eternal life"

But he came fifth and won a toaster

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pg13saisgoodbye
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
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Jesus said "come forth and receive eternal life"

But Paul came fifth and got a toaster

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MarkTheBag112
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
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The Lord said to John: Come forth and receive eternal life.

But, John came 5th and got a toaster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rasberryjam5151
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
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The Lord told John to come forth and he will receive eternal life

He came fifth and got a toaster

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sarinreach-L
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
The lord told John to come forth and he shall have eternal life.

But he came in fifth and got a toaster.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Noobmaster69696
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
🚨︎ report
And god said to John come forth and receive eternal life

But he came fifth and won a toaster

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πŸ‘€︎ u/camilodmoreno
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
🚨︎ report
And the lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life".

John came fifth and won a toaster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrKrabs7382
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
And the Lord said onto John " Come Forth and ye shall receive eternal life."

But sadly John came in fifth and only received a toaster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stewie19
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Then God said to John "Come forth and receive eternal life"

He came fifth and won a toaster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ryuushinng
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
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God said to John, "come fourth and you will receive eternal life",

John came fifth and won a toaster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeJash
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
🚨︎ report
God said: come fourth John and win eternal life

John came fifth and won a toaster!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommyBoi69696969
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
🚨︎ report
God told John come fourth and receive eternal life...

But John came fifth and got a toaster

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ARandomGuy678
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2018
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God said to Tom "Come fourth and receive eternal life."

Instead Tom came fifth and received a toaster

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πŸ‘€︎ u/twizzlerwhipped
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Jesus said, come forth and I'll give you eternal life

Peter came fifth and he won a toaster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wayne80s
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2018
🚨︎ report
And God said unto John, "Come fourth and receive eternal life."

But John came fifth and ended up with a toaster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fcsquire
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2017
🚨︎ report
And the Lord said unto John; "Come forth and receive eternal life!"

But John came fifth and won a toaster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MsCynical
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2017
🚨︎ report
*...and the Lord said unto John, "Go forth and you shall have eternal life."*

....but John got fifth and won a toaster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2017
🚨︎ report
God said "Come forth, and you shall receive eternal life"

But John came fifth, and won a toaster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porkification
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2016
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And The Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life"

...but John came in fifth and won a toaster.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2014
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