Everyone had a hard time navigating those sharp V-turns.
...Yoda originally spent part of his exile as a shepherd.
All the sheep, Dagobah.
He yells,β Donβt do it, you have too much potentialβ
With a pair of Caesars.
I guess that makes me Prince Charmin.
In fact the Abbasid is true
Only times new roman
Theyβre Aachen.
Thatβs wrong on so many levels.
They were never soba!
Any dog, because building canβt jump.
(Heard this a long time ago canβt remember where.)
it is oft forgotten that the air nomads once tried to rule the world. they were known as... the roamin' empire ;)
Lettuce pray.....
She said alright make em quick
that would be real bizarre.
They were looking in Alderaan places
With a pair of Ceasars!
My dad, ladies and gentlemen.
He was an excellent ruler.
A lot of Windowsο»Ώ
In the Nile.
The Ottoman Empire.
They called it "High Five"
If you go to New York and punch the Empire State Building, then according to Newton's third law of dynamics...
The Empire strikes back
How are you doing? Optimist: so far so good
I said "hi hungry i'm Austria do you wanna building an Empire"
The scene is playing where Luke is hanging upside down and just managed to defeat the beast on Hoth by cutting off its arm.
Dad: Well you know why they call it a Wampa now.
Me: Why?
Dad: Because it only has one-paw.
Me: Uses Force Groan
The Furred Reich.
He commited sewercide
Me: You got the goods?
Dealer: I have an alloy of iron and carbon for only $1.
Me: My, what a steel!
Guy: Hey, wanna hear my joke?
Boxer: I dunno, man. People always say I ruin their punchline.
Teacher: What are the four components of DNA?
Student: Actually, there are five: Adenine, cytosine, guanine, thymine--
Teacher: Oh? And the fifth one?
Student: I got I got I got I got...
Me (metric): Why does America use the imperial system? It's stupid.
Friend (imperial): Actually, other places use the imperial system.
Me: Which other places?
Friend: The Galactic Empire.
Guy: I hate spam.
Me: I like sushi.
Me: I like sushi.
Me: I like sushi.
...
Someone: Son of a gun...
Someone Else: Now you've just pistoled me off!
Okay, I know these are not the greatest puns ever, but this is my first post in this subreddit. Anyway, now here are the explanations:
Joke 1 - An alloy of carbon and iron is popularly referred to as steel, and stainless steel costs $2.41, in which the item receives a 58.51% reduction in cost, which is a mighty bargain, also known as a steal.
Joke 2 - Boxing is a sport in which your only goal is to knock your opponent out through a series of punches. The ending or twist of a joke is commonly referred to as the punchline of said joke.
Joke 3 - Check out Kendrick Lamar's DNA song.
Joke 4 - Troops and personnel of the Galactic Empire from Star Wars are commonly referred to as the Imperials.
Joke 5 - Spam musubi, or just spam, is a type of sushi. On the internet, spam is referred to as the repetition of a specific message, especially when emailing, to annoy or advertise a product/website to someone.
Joke 6 - The phrase, "Son of a gun", is a friendlier alternative to the phrase, "Son of a bitch!" Also, when you annoy someone, that means that you pissed them off, which sounds a bit like "pistoled".
During the height of the Mongolian Empire's reign, the warriors would celebrate their victories by dancing in a line behind their great emperor.
They called it a Khan-go line.
Dad: "I never got why they call it Hoth. Shouldn't it be Coldth?"
Me: "... I can't watch movies with you anymore."
The Empire Hikes Back.
A young lady had a problem because this other gal looked almost exactly like her, but had a nasty vocabulary. Nobody wanted to be around her anymore because the foul-mouthed girl really harmed her reputation.
So the lady in question decided to push the foul-mouthed look-alike off of the top roof of the Empire State Building. However, after doing this, she was soon arrested. Guess what she was charged with?
Making an obscene clone fall.
So, my sister is having her final tests on high school (I'm in college and have a really cute son with my girlfried) and got home today with a weird look on her eyes. Me and dad were having some sandwiches and watching The Empire Strikes Back (Star Wars marathon hype!). I looked at her and asked what happened, she immediately responded "I'm tired as fuck." By that point, I looked at my dad. He was looking at me, with a sparkle on his eyes. We both stood up, walked to her and said together: "HELLO TIRED AS FUCK, WE ARE DAD" Even my mother started laughing. It was hillarious.
I replied: "We ought ta, man".
the romaine empire
From movie puns we provide you the funniest collection of Star Wars puns
What do you call 5 siths piled on top of a lightsaber? A Sith-Kabob!
Why does Princess Leia keep her hair tied up in buns? So it doesnβt Hang Solow!
Why shouldnβt you ask Yoda for money? Because heβs always a little short
What program do Jedi use to view PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi
What do you call a Mexican jedi? Obi-Juan Kenobi
What do you call the website Chewbacca started that gives out Empire secrets? Wookieeleaks
What do you call a Jedi in denial? Obi-Wan Cannot Be
Where does Princess Leia go shopping for clothing? At the Darth Maul
Greg: Which Star Wars character travels around the world? Craig: Who? Greg: Globi-wan Kenobi!
Matthew: What does a Star Destroyer wear to a wedding? Daniel: What? Matthew: Bow ties, of course!
Deen Why was the droid angry? Mark: Why? Deen People kept pushing its buttons.
Luke: Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road? Lei Not sure. Luke: To get to the Dark Side.
Darth Vader: I know what youβre getting for Christmas. Luke: How do you know? Darth Vader: I can feel your presents.
What do Whipids say when they kiss? Ouch.
What is a jediβs favorite toy? A yo-yoda
What do you call a pirate droid? Argh2-D2
Where does Jabba the Hutt eat? Pizza Hutt
What is Jabba the Huttβs middle name? βTheβ Why is Han Solo a loner? Because heβs solo.
What do you call a Mexican jedi? Obi-Juan Kenobi What do you call a Sith who wonβt fight? A Sithy.
What time is it when Darth Vader steps on your chronometer? Time to get a new chronometer.
What do you call a pirate droid? Arrrrgh-2-D2
Which side of a wookie has the most hair? The outside.
Where does Jabba eat dinner? Pizza Hutt
Who do Jedi call to help open PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi
What do you call someone that tries to be a Jedi? Obi-Wannabe
What do you call a bounty hunter from Alabama? Bubba Fett
What time is it when Jabba the Hutt sits on your blaster? Time to get a new blaster! Why is Luke
Skywalker always invited on picnics? He always has the forks with him.
Which imperial officer hated Thanksgiving? Grand Moff Turkeyn
What do you call stormtroopers playing Monopoly? Game of Clones
Why did
... keep reading on reddit β‘it would be called Ottoman Empire. I'd be the chairman. I'd really be turning the tables of furniture sales. I'd put my futon anyone who tries to stop me.
And we get to the "Empire" apples. When we get there, my dad says, "We better be careful when we pick these apples" I said, "Why". He replies, " Because the Empire strikes back." A few minutes later he throws an apple at me and yells, "The Empire strikes back!"
So I'm trying to write an essay about the Roman Republic becoming the Roman Empire, thought it'd be funny to start off with a pun but I can't think of anything so... help?
In class he was talking about the importance of hands-on, empirical research and says "I was reading your bios and realized you all are from Missouri". Everyone looked around because no one in the class was from Mizzou. He then developed a shit-eating grin and yelled "The show-me state! Missouri is the show-me state!"...ughhh
My daughter (who's 8) is already working on her Dad jokes. Just got this text:
> Dada! In Star Wars C3-PO was caught red handed! > > C3PO's hand was red! > > Anddddd I bet that he was caught by the empire red handed and got his red hand!
Never been prouder.
While shopping for a new sofa:
Me: "There's a ton of ottomans in this show room."
My dad:"Ya, it's a regular Ottoman Empire."
And we found ourselves more interested in the napkin dispenser than we probably should have. It occurred to us that there was an industry in these dispensers, and we should join it and crush the competition.
I quipped, "Yes. We need to make our own napkin empire, and beat the Ottoman Empire."
She said that joke could and should become famous.
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building. He yells "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
They all can; the Empire State Building can't jump!
With a pair of Caesars
With a pair of Caesars.
With a pair of Caesars
Ofcourse it can. The Empire State Building can't jump.
Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
He yells: βDon't jump! You have so much potential!β
With a pair of Caesars
Of course, the Empire State Building canβt jump.
Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
"Don't do it!!" he yelled. "You have so much potential!"
With a pair of Caesars.
With a pair of Caesars.
A pair of Caesars.
