I just read the absoute best book about Pearl Jam.

Seriously, I don't know they could have made it Eddie Vedder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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A Father notices his daughter eating Edamame.

Dad: What are you eating?

Girl: Edamame

Dad: Eddie... what?

Girl: Soybeans

Dad: Hola Beans! Soy Dad

...lo siento.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mohawk_ADE
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
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Pun pet names.

Pets I want to have....

An otter name Harry Otter. A snake named Severus Snake. A tortoise named Voldetort. A chicken named Kylo Hen. A dog named Barkamedes. A deer named David Hasselhoof. A turkey named Green Gobbleen. A cat named Captain Ameowrica. A stork named Tony Stork. A pig named Peter Porker. A crocodile named Croctor Strange. A duck named Ducktor Doom. A squid named Abraham Inkin. A goose named Ryan Gooseling. A heron named Charlize Heron. A goat named Selena Goatmez An alpaca named Alpacachino. A carp name Leonardo Di’Carprio. A tuna named Tuna Turner. A horse named Neighlor Swift. A toad named Demi Lavatoad. A Rhino named Ryan Rhinolds. A swan named Swan Jovi. A Falcon named Jimmy Falcon. A ferret named Ferret Faucet. A rabbit named Hoptimus Prime. A cow named Moolissa McCarthy. A crow named Seth Crowgan. A fox named Charlie Fox. A cat named Katy Purry. A wolf named Howly Berry. A hamster named Scarlet Johamster. A parrot named Squakin Phoenix. A duck named DuckleBerry Finn. A canary named Jim Canary. A swarm of bees, all named BeeyoncΓ©. A sheep named Meryl Sheep. An elk named Elkton John. A bear named Teddy Mercury. A ram named Gordon RAMsey. A shark named Fin Diesel. A jellyfish named Jelly Clarkson. An Iguana named Eddie Lizard. A hyena named Hyena Bonham Carter. A penguin named Robird Downey Jr.

a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clixer712
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
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I was driving with my wife and suddenly Pearl Jam started playing on the radio.

I told her, β€œIt doesn’t get Eddie Vedder than this.”

πŸ‘︎ 89
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
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My girlfriend got me pretty good today.

I opened the cabinet to pull out the chocolate syrup when I noticed a chocolate fingerprint on the top. I jokingly asked her if she did that to mark it as hers since she had told me she might have to hide it to keep me from using it all. So, we go back and forth over whose fingerprint it is when she grabs it and takes it over to the dog. She holds it up and goes, "Eddie, look. Whose is that?" Of course, he's a dumb dog, so he just whines and wags his tail. She then comes back to me and says, "I sent the fingerprint to the Lab, results came back inconclusive." Cue long sigh.

Edit: Damn...

Edit 2: The Lab

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Really_Dont_Know
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2015
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If I ever meet the lead singer of Pearl Jam, I hope he asks me how I’m doing

So I can respond β€œif I was Eddie Vedder, I’d be you”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mistapiss
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
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I really like Pearl Jam’s first album

But after that, it doesn’t get Eddie Vedder.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BATHTUBISREAL
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2018
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Little known biblical fact...

Cain didn’t kill his brother Abel until after he had killed their other two brothers, Edward and William Nigel. To be fair, they practically volunteered to be killed; after all, they were Eddy, Will N., and Abel.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
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Pearl Jam

Great pun my dad posted to his facebook last night while we were at the pearl jam in Tampa... I didn't even notice until I got home:

"Doesn't get Eddie Vedder than this"

πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ‘€︎ u/harpua4207
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2016
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My daughter: Catching on to both dad jokes and great 90's alternative music!

We were listening to Pearl Jam's "Alive" in the car this evening. She pipes up out of nowhere:

"Q: What does Eddie Vedder wear to bed?"

"A: Pearl Jammies"

She's 12. I'm proud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/doubletwist
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2018
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Wife set me up perfectly

I came home from work the other night and as I walk in Better Man by Pearl Jam is on the stereo, and my wife is setting out a nice juicy steak for me.

I looked her right in the eye's and told her truthfully that "It doesn't get Eddie Veder than this"

She punched my shoulder...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/argash
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2017
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A really " rockin' " pun.

If the lead singer of Van Halen got a DUI, he'd be Eddie Cab Hailin'.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JManRomania
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2013
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Did you hear Pearl Jam got a new guitarist

He isn't Eddie vedder though

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πŸ‘€︎ u/odenoden
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2016
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Got my friend while watching Mulan

Was watching Disney's Mulan last night with some friends. It was toward the beginning of the movie, right when Mushu (the dragon voiced by Eddie Murphy) is introduced. At this point, I cleverly quipped, "Looks like Mulan is about to get her drag on."
Groans aplenty.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2015
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What's a ghost's favorite lunch meat?

Boologna (from Ed,Edd, and Eddy)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Fiasko
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2017
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What do you call a multiple-amputee guy who's stuck in a whirlpool?

Eddy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nrith
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2015
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While watching Christmas Vacation

Every Christmas Eve we all watch Christmas Vacation, basically our tradition. For those of you that don't know the movie, the one cousin, Eddy, has a rottweiler with a sinus condition so he has mucus all over. When they bring out the dog my dad says to my little brother, "Do you know what kind of dog that is? It's a snotweiler!" He laughed for a good 10 minutes.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dmatt1024
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2013
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