I have a list of friends who love palindromes!

Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel, and Ellen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
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I put my grandfather's ashes In a new container recently.

He really urn-ed it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SHOETOOSMALL
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
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Why did the popcorn want to press charges?

Because it was a-salt-ed!

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wheelnebula
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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Mr. Ed

Man, I was worried when Mr. Ed had to be hospitalized. But now I've heard he's back home and his condition is stable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spinoza418
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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Why did the student get a pear before his test?

He wanted to make sure he was pre-pear-ed!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HappyRamenMan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
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Man Trump has been impeached again?

That's very unpresidented

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Major_Cupcake
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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Wife holding up "Prickly Pear Margarita": looks like I'm not driving...

Me: Why?

Wife: I don't want to drive im-pear-ed!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bearnakedgamer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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I have a Pierce Brosnan sticker I can't remove

It's bonded, James Bond-ed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/plunged_ewe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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Its 1:30 and im drunk, thought this was comical

What did the hispanic who took 2 too many drugs say? Help i think I over(dos)ed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gangaking69
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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Patel was teaching a boy named Ed basic geometry, which he was failing to grasp even on the most basic levels. He mistook squares for triangles, circles for hexagons and so on...

So Patel tried to go to the lowest level and put a dot on the paper.

"What this, Ed?"

"A line?" the boy replied.

"I... I expected more from you. I'm... This a point, Ed."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alkaath
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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Nature just loves when Spring comes around...

I mean just look at the trees, they're re-leaf-ed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrayWolf85
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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What do you call a cake shop with no-one it?

Dessert-ed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAwesomeOrc
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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You said everything would be back to normal by the end of June...

July-ed!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fredwardofox
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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What do you name a 2020 porno starring college freshman?

Co-Ed Vid 19

Womp womp

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZerolFaithl
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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I put original copies of "The Fall of the House of Usher", "The Murders in the Rue Morgue", "The Pit and the Pendulum" and "The Tell-Tale Heart" on credit hoping to pay them off slowly. Unfortunately, I couldn't make all payments...

He re-Poe-ed them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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Why was horse declared as innocent by the judge?

Because he de-neigh-ed everything.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ViShAl2212
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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Why do leg amputees always win?

Because they can't be de-feet-ed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/th3doorMATT
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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What kind of condoms do frogs prefer?

Ribb-ed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rdegannes87
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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My food truck idea

Food truck with eggs being the theme in every dish.

"The Poach Coach"

Popular dishes:

  1. Eggs Been a Dick (2 poached eggs and 1 average but adequate size sausage)
  2. Omelette that one slide (you're choice of filling, but don't fucking test me)
  3. The Dwight Yolk Em' (served in a plastic cowboy hat to go. Must eat while walking the streets of Bakersfield) 4.The Mr. Burns Eggcellent Scramble (smithered with cheese)
  4. The Quiche a Grey (oralgasmic quiche with a money shot of sausage gravy)
  5. The John Denver Omelette (full of all kinds of shit)
  6. Jesus'ed egg (basically a deviled egg only more judgmental and boiled in holy water)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sakibombs85
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
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No one has a Game Boy anymore.

Seems everyone has Switch-ed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
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A guy just flew straight at my ultralight in his jet and gave me an unpleasant look...

He Lear-ed at me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
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Who is a sheep's favorite performer?

Ed Shereen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VonMeatstein
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2020
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I received an unexpected bill from the doctor for fixing my leg...

I realized this is America and I oh-ed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
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I didn't want to observe the period from Ash Wednesday to Easter again, but did so to stop my girlfriend's constant nagging...

I re-Lent-ed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
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My friend Ed had a brain transplant.

Now he’s brained Ed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
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Ed Gein has been a huge inspiration for killers in movies. I don't get it.

He was honestly just Ed G.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Butterbrodui
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
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I was up the creek without a paddle, so had to make one out of salmon eggs...

After that, I roe-ed my boat to back to civilization, where I share my wonderful sense of humor!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
When I went to buy comfy shoes, I heard the fitter mimic me as he went to retrieve them, "I need some comfy shoes. Wah wah!"

The shoes he brought were indeed comfy. But I can't get over the fact that I was moc-ed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
The Dad Jokes is strong with my 12 y/o son.

My wife: Daddy and I are tired from looking for a car today.

Son: Would you say you are Exhaust-ed!

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tang81
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2016
🚨︎ report
A police officer was chasing a murderer named Ed

Ed had been running for a while and wouldn't have the endrurance to run for much longer. The officer realised this and yelled: Stop! You have to get arrested!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jannehirsimaki
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
🚨︎ report
A man and his wife are walking down the street when they see Police Officer Ed up the street.

It's a small town so they know Police Officer Ed well enough to know that he can be pretty curt and rude. As they pass him, they exchange pleasantries. The husband tips his hat and Officer Ed does the same. The wife says, "Hello Officer Ed, it's a beautiful day isn't it?" Officer Ed looks at the sky, grunts, and says, "It looks like rain." The wife looks at the sky and says, "But there isn't a cloud in the sky." Officer Ed doubles down, "It's definitely going to rain."

The husband doesn't want to start any problems so he bids the officer good day, takes his wife's arm and leads her along. Once they were out of earshot, the husband said to his wife, "Listen, Rude Officer Ed knows rain, dear."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/salawm
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2018
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Did you hear about that Japanese foodie who got became transgender and now goes by Edward, but then got pregnant and had a baby and joined the baby bloggers?

His blog is called Ed - A Mommy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smrkk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
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I always wondered what was on top of Mt. Everest

I guess it always peak-ed my curiosity.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
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So, a pig had nothing to do.

He was pretty boar-ed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gojira04YT
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
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The interesting the about engineering Toilet Paper,

It's an a-ply-ed science.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
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My dad asked me what I would study at university. I said I enjoyed learning about the reproductive system.

"Have you ever thought about sex ed?" he asked.

"Who hasn't?" I replied. "And my name isn't Ed."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
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What did the police say when they finally caught up to the corrupt medical examiner?

Stop! We have you coroner’ed!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nodzest
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
🚨︎ report
If you have a pastry snack at 10 PM...

...does that mean you are having unelevened bread?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2018
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What did the doctor say to the nurse that was attractive to the patient with the staph infection?

Why are you so abscess-ed with him?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kbuck7777
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
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Paging

I hope this is the proper venue for this post. If not, feel free to delete me.

This came from when I was doing production lighting. Every once in a while during concert setup the audio tech would need help with mic check. Now the "real" audio guys would always just stand there going "check check check one two". Me being not a real audio guy wanted to have more fun than that, so I would always do "pages" as if I was paging people. But I would use these assumed names. Here is a partial list of names I would use. If you look closely you might notice a familiar u/name or two.

Paging Mister Lobbla … Mister Bob Lobbla (from Arrested Development)

Paging Mister Vitoomey … Mister Lee Vitoomey

Paging Mister Frescoe … Mister Al Frescoe

Paging Miss Haivure … Miss Bee Haivure

Paging Miss Mitch … Miss Miranda Mitch (my random itch - from The Mick?)

Paging Miss Dactyl … Miss Tara Dactyl

Paging Miss Falactec … Miss Anna Falactec

Paging Miss Tonin … Miss Sarah Tonin

Paging Mister Zinette … Mister Ray Zinnette

Paging Mister Reader … Mister Chip Reader

Paging Miss Kiaki … Miss Sue Kiaki

Paging Mister Doffish … Mister Stan Doffish

Paging Mister Debank … Mister Robin Debank

Paging Mister Festo … Mister Manny Festo

Paging Mister Ifornia … Mister Cal Ifornia

Paging Mister Itosis … Mister Hal Itosis

Paging Mister Saroni … Mister Rye Saroni

Paging Mister Nasium … Mister Jim Nasium

Paging Mister Aroon … Mister Mac Aroon

Paging Miss Ester … Miss Polly Ester

Paging Miss Rexia … Miss Anna Rexia

Paging Mister Zapan … Mister Pete Zapan

Paging Mister Tenuff … Mister Jess Tenuff

Paging Miss Eous … Miss Elaine Eous

Paging Mister Aroni … Mister Mac Aroni

Paging Mister Preneur … Mister Andre Preneur

Paging Mister Cetera … Mister Ed Cetera

Paging Mr. Zapple … Mr. Adam Zapple

Paging Mr. Bino … Mr. Al Bino

Paging Miss Slapter … Miss Ida Slapter

Paging Miss Talia … Miss Jenna Talia

Paging Mr. Rafone … Mr. Mike Rafone

Paging Mr. Zark … Mr. Noah Zark

Paging Miss Yoki … Miss Carey Yoki

Paging Mr. Foolery … Mr. Tom Foolery

Paging Mr. Atric … Mr. Jerry Atric

Paging Mr. Duttank … Mr. Phillip Duttank

Paging Mr. Anoma … Mr. Mel Anoma

Paging Mister Jass … Mr. Hugh Jass

Paging Mr. Onella … Mr. Sam Onella

Paging Mr. Maphobe … Mr. Jer Maphobe

Paging Mr. Packa … Mr. Al Packa

Paging Mister Dente … Mister Al Dente

Paging Miss Conda … Miss Anna Conda

Paging Miss Sharalike … Miss Sharon Sharalike

Paging Miss Bellum … Miss Sarah Bellum

Paging Miss Mennopey … Miss

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayZinnet
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2018
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