My son walked in and matter of factly stated, β€œDad, I’m thirsty”

Me(instantly): Is that a statement of fact or a request for something to drink?

(Oh how the sour look that he had been duped by a dad joke)

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aph603
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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Drinking wine with my parents when my dad duped me

My dad asked my mother to pour him another glass. She poured the wine the same way you would pour water into a bottle, but it is common knowledge that you must tilt the wine glass for a proper pour.

Me: "Aren't you supposed to pour it on an angle?"

Dad: "Why yes, how else would the wine come out?"

I nodded and silently wished I could be half the man he is one day.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mitharris
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2014
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Why are Irish people so rich?

Because their capital is Dublin.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2018
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The air conditioning is too cold?

My classroom has air conditioning, but it only kicks in on warm days like today. When my fifth graders came in this morning, a couple immediately started complaining. "It's freezing in here!"

I had been waiting for this opportunity all year! I pointed to the corner of the room. "Well, if you're cold, you can go stand over there. The corner is 90ΒΊ!"

The best part was the chorus of incredulous students shouting "really?!" who then went over to investigate. It wasn't until they pointed out that the temperature was same over there that they realized they had been duped.

πŸ‘︎ 73
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spacecatapult
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2015
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A torch was passed from my father to me last weekend.

I grew up in Northern California and have visited the Monterey Bay Aquarium a few times as a kid.

Every. Goddam. Time. My dad would pause in front of the jellyfish tank and say "You kids think these are cool, wait till you see the peanut butter fish. Maybe they will make you a sandwich."

So on saturday my mom and dad accompanied me and my family there for the first time in years. When we got to the jellyfish I was ready, and beat my dad to the punch. My three year old thought I was serious of course, but my five year old daughter is pretty sharp and she called me out.

My dad leaned down and congratulated her for not being duped. He then said "Let's go check out the tuna tank." My daughter got excited and said "They have TUNA?!"

Grinning, my dad said "Yes sweetheart, and just like at Red Lobster, you get to pick which one you want and they will make you a sandwich."

The old man has still got it.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/robinson217
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2015
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