Texas Lady

Hello darling," breathed the obscene phone caller. "If you can guess what's in my hand, I'll give you a piece of the action."

""Listen Dude," drawled the lil' Texas lady, "If y'all can hold it in one hand, I ain't interested."

👍︎ 3
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📅︎ Apr 01 2020
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My poor family puts up with me

Last night at supper, this interchange occurred (it helps if you know we're from Oklahoma and speak with an Oklahoma drawl): Wife: "Come on little bug, and get some supper." Daughter: "Did you just call me a bug." Me (quickly looking at my wife): "Who is Mia Bugg, and why do ya have her phone number?"

Both wife and daughter stopped and stared at me for about 10 seconds, then slowly shook their heads and walked past me.

👍︎ 1k
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📅︎ Jan 08 2014
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What happens to Texans when they stop doing drugs?

They suffer with drawl

👍︎ 30
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📅︎ Mar 30 2016
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Classic dad joke

I work in the toys department at a local store, and everything has recently been marked down to clearance prices due to new items coming in within the next few weeks.

Cue a dad and his six year old daughter. The little girl has a little bit of a southern drawl. The dad says to pick out something on clearance, and she can maybe get it. So little girl proceeds to pick up everything on clearance and announce "This is clearance!" Over and over and over again.

Finally, little girl picks up a Barbie doll and, once again, announces "this is clearance!" Well, to me and the dad, it sounds like she is saying Clarence. So the dad snaps into full on dad joke: "hi Clarence, I'm dad." I laughed out loud and the dad started cracking up too, the daughter confused at the joke.

TL;DR, Southern drawl six year old clearance shopping, making clearance sound like Clarence, dad snaps, "hi Clarence, I'm dad"

👍︎ 13
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📅︎ Jul 30 2017
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My dad's eyes hurt really bad

He says it feels like he has gravel under his eyes. My stepmom asked if he still had the drops his doctor gave him and he got confused not knowing what she was talking about. She told him: "Go look in your drawers". My dad looked shocked and said with a drawl, "They wouldn't be in my drawers!"

👍︎ 4
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👤︎ u/C_Eberhard
📅︎ Dec 31 2014
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