My friend, the anthropomorphic cell phone was in dire Straits

He walked into the police station and yelled "help! I'm on five per cent!" First, a cop punched him. Then, one of them plugged him in to a power bank Suddenly he had reached 100%. It was a miracle They charged him with assault and battery

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WalterNewton
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2021
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Some people love jokes about Dire Straits

But they’re Knopfler me

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skepticCanary
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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If Dire Straits robbed a grocery store, they'd get honey for nothing and chips for free.
πŸ‘︎ 142
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lol_camis
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2017
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Dire Straits and Chris Rea are getting together. The new group will be called Dire Rea.
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
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What do you call an arabic prince who's a Dire Straits fan?

the sultans offspring

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/St_Addi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2018
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Chris Rhea and Dire Straits are getting together to form a supergroup...

... they are going to be know as Chris Straits.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lazlowoodbine
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2017
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IRS Auditor: For your tax return, you just wrote down β€œMoney for Nothing, Checks for Free??”

Me: Am I in trouble?

Auditor: Yes. In Dire Straits.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2018
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I learned to empathize with the homeless by singing Mark Knopfler's ballads

They made me feel like I was in dire straits.

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πŸ“…︎ May 02 2018
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Tax audit guy: It says in your file that you have money for nothing and checks for free.

Man: Am I in trouble?

Tax guy: Yes. In Dire Straits.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2018
🚨︎ report

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