Dafydd ap Gruffydd Puns

Gruffydd ap Llywelyn is the only person to truly unite all of Wales and even took parts of England :) He was a ruthless leader that left the south of wales in ashes before receiving the oath and fealty of the people there as their new king.

This man humiliated the Saxons in many battles and even invaded the land of Hereford and burned the town to the ground. He then went on to beat a combined host of Saxons and Normans near Leominster.

People often say that wales have NEVER been united under one ruler. It has and this leader was Gruffydd ap Llywelyn, The king of all wales (and a bit of England:))

Why don't wales remember him? He achieved more than any other but is mostly ignored. He was the first and last KING of all wales but there is nothing to remember him by.

The English and scots remember their kings but most of the welsh don't even know we had our own.

The Penis

By God penis, you must be guarded
with eye and hand
because of this lawsuit, straight-headed pole,
more carefully than ever now.
Cunt's net-quill, because of complaint
a bridle must be put on your snout
to keep you in check so that you are not indicted
again, take heed [you] despair of minstrels.

To me you are the vilest of rolling pins,
scrotum's horn, do not rise up or wave about,
gift to the noble ladies of Christendom,
nut-pole of the lap's cavity,
snare shape, gander
sleeping in its yearling plumage,
neck with a wet head and milk-giving shaft,
tip of a growing shoot, stop your awkward jerking,
crooked blunt one, accursed pole,
centre pillar of a girl's two halves,
head of a stiff conger-eel with a hole in it,
blunt barrier like a fresh hazel-pole.
You are longer than a big man's thigh,
a long night's roaming, chisel of a hundred nights,
auger like a post's shaft,
leather-headed one who is called 'tail'.
You are a crowbar which causes lust,
the bolt of the lid of a girl's bare arse.
There's a tube in your head,
a whistle for fucking every day.
There's an eye in your pate
which finds every woman fair.
Rounded pestle, extending gun,
it is a purgatorial fire for a small cunt,
thatching-stick of girls' laps,
the swift growth is the clapper of a bell,
blunt pod, it dug a family,
snare of skin, nostril with a crop of two testicles.
You are a trouserful of wantonness,
your neck is leather, image of a goose's neckbone,
completely deceitful disposition, pod of lewdness,
door-nail which causes a lawsuit and trouble.

Consider that there is a writ and an indictment,
bow your head, stick for planting children.
It's difficult to keep you under control,
miserable thrust, you are woeful indeed!
Your master is frequently rebuked,
the rottenness through your head is obvious.