Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face"
What did the Mama bear say to her cub when he was crossing the road to get to his School?
“Bison!!!”
~Was shocked to speechlessness when my 5 year old kid said this with a straight face. And this happened when I was trying very hard to teach him the right format of a knock-knock joke. I was stumped for about a minute as he combined a chicken-cross-the-road with a wordplay. Laughed so hard after that - until my wife had to use a pan on my head to stop us both.
Well that didn't cross my mind
Why did the dad joke cross the road?
To get to the other sigh.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
Because he chickened out.
I meant to cross post it but I don’t know why I cannot cross post so here is the screenshot version
A truck hit a bull that was crossing the road last night.
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why did the cross eyed teacher get fired?
He couldn't control his pupils.
Why did the chicken cross the road to the Chinese grocery?
To get some bok bok bok choy!
My two sons 5&8 are playing Minecraft this morning on survival. They are working hard together to build their mansion. I crossed the room in front of the TV to grab my phone as they are balanced high on a wall constructing a roof. My son screams out, “Dad get out of the way!”
I said, “You’re the ones blocking!”
Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because it didn't have the guts!
Why did the dad cross the road?
To talk to the other dad.
(Happy Father’s Day everyone)
Yesterday, I crossed the road, changed a lightbulb, and walked into a bar.
Why did the lumberjack tell his dog to cross the road?
So he could get bark.
My 11yo daughter claims she just made this joke up.
I crossed the border into Mexico without much hassle. Crossing it a second time was fine too, but on the third time a guard stopped me and said “Sorry
The cross-eyed teacher was sacked from his job.
He couldn't control his pupils.
Never thought cannibalism is so yummy(Another one of the ones that I want to cross post but r/puns bans cross posts)
Why did the punk rocker cross the road?
He was stapled to the chicken.
A priest, A Baptist minister, and a rabbit go into a red cross to donate blood. The nurse asks "What is your blood type"?
The rabbit says "I think I'm a type O"
Why did the lion cross the road?
To get to the other pride
What do you get when you cross a teacher with a vampire?
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because you wear the wrong sock this morning
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
Why was the Luxembourgish chicken afraid to cross the road?
Because their were too many millionaires on the other side.
What do you get when you cross Billy Idol with a spider?
A nice day for a white webbing.
Why did the crab cross the road?
He wanted to go on another sidewalk.
What do you get when you cross an angry sheep and a angry cow?
You get two animals in a baaaaaaaaaaad mooooooooooood.
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To get to the... Bottom...
(as told by my 5yo son, I'm so proud)
How did the Romans make sure they nailed Jesus to the cross in exactly the right place?
they drilled a Pilate hole.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a skunk
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?
My mates got cross with me for going on and on about how fun it is to drive stick. They suggested changing the subject.
I told them that I would shift as best I could...
What do you get when you cross a cactus with a pea plant?
A plant that waters itself.
Why did the goldfish 🐠 cross the street.
It did not because it can't walk.
Why did the dad joke cross the road?
To get to the other sighs.
Why did the dad joke cross the road?
To get to the other sigh 😃
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the street?
Because he got stuck in a crack.
The cross eyed school teacher was fired.
She couldn’t control her pupils.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he couldn't straighten the road...
Why did the disappointed chicken cross the road
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To say “hello” from the other side.
Why did the British armadillo cross the road?
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