Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face".

That was the punchline

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neo-1000
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Two drunk guys were about to get into a fight, when one draws a line in the dirt and slurs, β€œIf you cross this, I’ll hit you in the face.” /r/Jokes/comments/jx9abu/…
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/goldendarren
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn’t the squirrel cross the telephone line?

Because it was busy.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brodacious-G
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
In Sweden, footraces sometimes start a short distance away from the country’s eastern border.

The winner is the first person to cross the Finnish line.

πŸ‘︎ 228
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Bolt crosses the Finish line to win another gold medal [2016]
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_wastl
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Two kids were on the playground, about to get in a fight. One drew a line in the sand and told the other, β€œIf you cross this line, I’ll punch you in the face.”

That was the punch line.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingInTheNorth57
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I crossed the line

x__

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_love_420
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2016
🚨︎ report
Every year my town has a 4th of July track meet during the day, and any age can compete. My geologist dad, heavy set and not ready to compete, entered the mile and obviously did poorly, but he crossed the finish line, gave me a shit-eating grin and said:

"......gneiss guys finish last."

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2017
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Successful Dad joke I just pulled off on wife. Full groan and everything

Wife: why do dad's have the worst jokes?

Me: It's a rule, dads have to have cringy jokes

Wife: Who makes those rules?

Me: The Dad Poet Society

Wife: groan

πŸ‘︎ 19k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scotland42
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
🚨︎ report
For having such strong opinions on border security, Donald Trump sure can cross the line.
πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arthurktripp
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2015
🚨︎ report
Finland has just closed their borders

No one will be crossing the finish line

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Who gets home after they cross the finish line?

"Finnish people!" (Thick Romanian accent)

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SplooshKing
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2015
🚨︎ report
What happens when someone leaves Finland?

They cross the finish line

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Capn-X
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
If Jesus was real they wouldn't call it the crucifixion

They would call it crucifact.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TooShiftyForYou
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m going to jog from Sweden to Finland...

and cross the Finnish line.

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Due to covid-19, finland closed its borders to international marathon runners.

The racers ran anyways but unfortunately no one crossed the finnish line

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IGotSkills
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I think I had my first dad joke moment

I was driving my daughter (10F) to her dance class. Although we have taken this route countless times before and she never said a word about it before, she did this time and said as she was looking out the window while driving by a particular area, "Why would anyone build a daycare next to a cemetery?"

Without thought, I said "I don't know, but I bet their neighbors are quiet"

There was a second or two pause and then she said "Daaaaaaad."

My chest puffed up with pride for several miles as I thought I had just crossed the line into Dad Jokedom!

πŸ‘︎ 225
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I see your point when it comes to dotting your i’s...

But crossing your t’s is where I draw the line.

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm okay with parallel graphs and all...

But perpendicular? That crosses the line

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
🚨︎ report
So dotting "i's" is one thing...

But crossing "t's"? That's where I draw the line.

πŸ‘︎ 172
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TvV1ST3D
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
🚨︎ report
why did the Swedish racer lose the race

because he couldn't cross the finnish line.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wesamzxc
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My problematic teen kid just fled across the border

He really crossed the line this time!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/otoglomba
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
One-line vampire jokes for Halloween

What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher?

Lots of blood tests!

Why did Dracula’s mother give him cough medicine?

Because he was having a coffin fit.

Why did the vampire’s lunch give him heartburn?

It was a stake sandwich.

Dracula decided he needed a dog, which breed did he choose?

A bloodhound.

What is a vampire’s favorite holiday?

Fangsgiving.

What did the vampire say to the Invisible Man?

β€˜Long time, no see!’

Why is Dracula so unpopular?

Because he’s a pain in the neck!

http://bestcleanfunnyjokes.com/one-line-vampire-jokes-for-halloween/

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfraymond
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I once had a job in a t-shirt factory

I once had a job in a t-shirt factory. Every day, t-shirts would come down the line, and using this big rubber stamp, I’d apply a handful of dots to them, at random, to just given them a general design that wasn’t blank t-shirt. It was soul sucking, but it paid the bills.

However, I kept running into a problem. I wasn’t applying the dots fast enough. It was a mental thing - I’d get hung up on where should I apply the next dot so it doesn’t look bad, etc. But one of the guys who’d been there longer than I had gave me a piece of advice. He told me to cross to my eyes. That way, I could just kinda zone out and hit the t-shirt a few times randomly without paying much attention to where exactly I was applying the dots. It worked like magic.

Well eventually I was getting ready to leave the factory and they had me train my replacement. It only took one day. I left him with one piece of advice. I told him not to get too hung up on the specific details but just to make sure he dotted his tees and crossed his eyes.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CoyoteTheFatal
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Swedish national cross-country marathon?

The winner was the first to cross the Finnish line.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/emjay144
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Waiting in line at Disneyland

A few years back the wife and I were waiting in line for a ride at Disneyland, and we were stopped next to a cast member door. One cast member was leaving for their break and asked if they could cross, and we kindly backed up a little for her. As she opened the door another cast member was coming out, who also crossed in front of us. I immediately turned to my wife and exclaimed "We've been double crossed!"

πŸ‘︎ 748
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scaryuncledevin
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2016
🚨︎ report
I read an article today about a long distance race that starts in Sweden and ends in Finland...

The winner is the first person to cross the Finnish line.

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CallMeTuco
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2018
🚨︎ report
Why was the painter mad at the sketch artist?

The painter was mad at the sketch artist because he was behaving "Sketchy" and he crossed the "Line".

heuueueueue.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the one about the game winning Super Bowl LIII touchdown?

It crosses the line.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TinOfPop
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I angered some country music fans while driving from Lake City to Valdosta

Apparently I had crossed the Florida Georgia Line

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnbr
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
🚨︎ report
Jokes about plaid are simply not okay

Far too many lines get crossed

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/optionalsilence
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2017
🚨︎ report
2 drunk guys getting into a fight. One gets up and draws a line on the ground. He says "you cross this line and I'll punch you in the face".

That was the punchline...

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dinnen1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Two drunk guys were about to get into a fight, when one draws a line in the dirt and slurs, β€œIf you cross this line, I’ll hit you in the face.”

That was the punchline...

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Two drunk guys were about to get into a fight. One draws a line in the dirt and says, β€œIf you cross this line, I’ll hit you in the face.”

That was the punchline.

πŸ‘︎ 17k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Two drunk guys were about to get into a fight. One draws a line in the dirt and says, "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face."

That was the punchline.

πŸ‘︎ 272
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/skylly100
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the chicken cross the state line?

He just had to get out of there because he heard that Kentucky fried chicken!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTrekkie1701
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2016
🚨︎ report
Finland has closed its borders, You know what that means...

No one will cross the Finnish line

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Niels_h_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Finland has locked itself with quarantine.

No one will be crossing the Finish line.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/johnreese421
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
🚨︎ report
When do racers go to Finland?

When they cross the Finnish line.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/loriffic
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Finland has just closed its borders

There’s no way we can cross the Finnish line now.

πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/beanburrito26
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 79
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I like most of the letters in the alphabet

But not t. That's just crossing a line.

πŸ‘︎ 161
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/qndk
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2018
🚨︎ report
How do you know when a race to Finland is over?

When you cross the Finnish line.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zachpledger
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Going past the equator really...

Crosses the line.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JonathanDoe297
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I would tell you...

I would tell a Mexican joke but that's crossing the line.

I would tell a gay joke, butt fuck it.

I would tell you a dirty Chinese joke but that's sum ting wong.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jedijosh920
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2015
🚨︎ report

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