I have an acre 1/2 plot of land I will use for pumpkins. The hillside is not on a severe angle, however, farmers in the area tell me to plow left in right. For this reason, when it rains, it will act as a gutter and the rain will collect at the bottom, so if theres 2 inches of rain at the top, it maybe, depending on how deep 18 inches at the bottom of the hill. If I plow left and right, should I plow gradually going down the hill or up it? Also should I adjust my plow a certain way to compensate for the hillside? Like should i get the percentage grade for the hill, convert it to a whole number, and subtract 6 from it when adjusting the plow? For my plow, it recommends I put the tractor on 5-6in spacers and crank the plow until it is even with the ground.
We got called out to a rollover on an access road. Bad one. The vehicle had apparently flipped at a good speed. The sole occupant; the driver, had been thrown out onto the pavement as the vehicle tumbled. Still alive, in a sense, though not conscious. Her body, anyway; but exhibiting the erratic, pronounced, uncontrolled body movements that indicated a high level of brain trauma. We knew there was little hope for her, if any. A tragic shame - a young woman. And a Mother, as we would soon discover.
From information on documentation found in the vehicle, Law Enforcement had been able to contact a relative even as we made our futile attempts to assist her in any way that we still could.
And immediately asked us the question that scared the hell out of us, and turned this already tragic night into a worse one:
“Was the baby all right?”
We stared at each other, startled. What baby? She had been alone in the vehicle. Or had she?
We immediately, by flashlight, searched the vehicle lying on its roof again. Thoroughly. There was no infant to be found. No sign of one.
Was the person sure? The Officer put the question to whoever was still on the other end of his mobile phone....... yes, she had had her less-than-a-year-old infant with her. It was unwelcome news.
We glanced quickly around us at the area immediately surrounding:
On one side, a grassy bank rose steeply to the freeway above. That would be easily and quickly searched. The grass had been mown fairly recently, and wasn’t too high.
We cast a glance into the darkness on the other side, and our hearts sank: high grass, brush, undergrowth, and trees all tangled together in a nearly impenetrable mass, with an open field on the other side of them. This wasn’t good. Something as small as an infant child could be easily missed in the darkness. And with the way the vehicle had tumbled, he or she could be anywhere.
The Officer confirmed for us, from the frantic person on the other end of the line that, yes, the child had been in a car seat. This was one bit of good news: it might make all the difference. Car seats had, by that time, been mandatory for quite a while, and for very good reason. They often made the difference between life and death for a child whose life had just begun. And they were much improved from earlier models.
I knew personally of one instance in which that had been the case: a head-on collision on a winding country road back home in the mount
... keep reading on reddit ➡Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.
If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.
Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???
Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.
Thank you,
A Dad.
Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.
They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.
I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.
She said apple-lutely
'Eye-do'
This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.
The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!
Cred once again my sis wants credit lol
I heard parents named their children lance a lot.
First post please don't kill me
Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!
Well, toucan play at that game.
second hand stores!
Old Neeeeiiiiighvy
it's Hans free now..
10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too
A buck-an-ear!
I Thank ye kind Matey for the booty! I be truly overwhelmed! Thank you!
Holy cow! Thank you everyone for the upvotes and awards! I wasn’t expecting this!
He should have a good vowel movement. His next diaper change could spell disaster though.
Making it all the way home and realizing that they forgot one of the containers:
Riceless
That was the punchline
Without missing a beat he asks "Daddy, do you know how much room you need to grow Fungi like that?"
I did not know.
So he tells me "as Mushroom as possible!"
So proud.
Feyonce
He was so brave and even tried to encourage us, the family around him, with his last breaths. He kept whispering to us to Be Positive.
He said, “Change the batteries in your hearing aid”.
OK, I lied, I bought one eyeliner in the last 12 months. I also picked up the Sephora birthday set with a lipstick and blush. Whatever!
That said - I can't believe I made it! My cosmetic purchases have been dwindling over the years, but my skincare addiction is REAL. I probably bought 12 products last year, but this year, hoping to maintain or cut down. I am not using anything fast enough. I have, however, discovered that my aging skin needs moisture, so, yay?
I still watch a good number of YouTube videos on makeup and skincare, but the spreadsheet and my face remind me I don't need anything. I literally wear no makeup - rarely a tinted balm or nude lip, concealer, brow pomade and one shade on my eye. Maybe eyeliner. When masks go away in 2022, I'll wear blush and contour again.
My skincare use has really scaled back, too. I learned that all I really need is a retinol, brow growth serum, two exfoliants (aha, bha), a moisturizer, an oil, an antioxidant, a sunscreen and an essence/toner. Ok, that sounds like a lot, but I rotate among products in my day and night routines. In the end, I hope to plow through my 75 skincare products over the next 3 years - not sure if it will take more like 5 years to get down to the number I would feel happy with. I think I will always be a bit of a hoarder, but 35 sounds like a goal for now - and then hopefully 25 one day....
Good luck, everyone!
She was pretty mad when I only picked seven up
So far no one has given me a straight answer.
Alzheimer, Grandma, it's Alzheimer.
You look for the fresh prints!
It’s a dad-ly disease.
Happy Father’s Day to all the dads that get me though my day to day life, without you Dad Jokes wouldn’t mean a thing 😉
Transparent
(sorry it sucks, it's like 2:30 in the morning right now and I haven't slept)
(Edit: holy shit! I wasn't expecting this to get so many upvotes. Also thanks for the awards guys, I really appreciate it!)
Oops, wrong sub.
I'd accidentally left my phone in Airplane mode.
Attire
