My girlfriend got mad at me for making constant puns and then said she wouldn’t talk to me if I made another one
I said “I guess I’m being PUNished”
It’s been a week and she still won’t talk to me. Was it worth it? Yes.
A Woman Gives Birth While Enduring Constant Puns From Her Partner
My wife just broke up with me. She's sick and tired of my constant Zodiac puns.
It Taurus apart. I'm in Pisces typing this.
I have a constant urge to eat my mother’s pot brownies...
I think I’ve developed an edible complex.
My wife is fed up of my constant Dad jokes, so I asked her, "How can I stop my addiction?"
Wife: "Whatever means necessary,"
Me: "No it doesn't”
A man woke up to find out that he was connected to a constant source of water.
He was quite irrigated about it.
I went on a gluten free diet because I was experiencing constant headaches.
And it actually worked. Clearly my-grains were the issue here.
My boyfriend is getting tired of my constant wordplay jokes, so I asked him how I could stop my addiction.
He said "Whatever means necessary."
I answered "No it doesn't."
I didn't want to observe the period from Ash Wednesday to Easter again, but did so to stop my girlfriend's constant nagging...
My friend keeps pressuring me into going spelunking with him. Well, after weeks and months of constant persuasion...
The therapist asked my wife why she wanted to end our marriage. She said she hated all the constant Star Wars puns. I look at the therapist and said, "Divorce is strong with this one!"
You are on a horse galloping at a constant speed. On your right side, is a sharp drop off and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is another galloping horse, but your horse is unable to overtake it.
Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the horse in front of you.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
Get off the merry-go-round!
My wife and I were watching women's tennis, and she told me how annoyed she gets with this constant grunting noises.
I said, “Fine. I’ll stop making them.”
My wife loves tennis, and she was telling me how distracted she gets at the constant grunting during women’s matches.
I told her I’ll try not doing it again.
So, I went to my doctor today due to a constant headache. He told me I should drink more scrumpy to numb it and I asked "Wouldn't that just make me drunk?"
He told me "Oh, that's just a cider-effect".
I threw a boomerang six years ago now I live in constant fear.
What do you call a train with constant mood swings?
I went to the doctor about my constant, terrible, but silent farts...
The doctor said that he should check my hearing first
Insomnia is a constant battle...
I will not sleep until I find a cure.
Someone at work complained about my constant wordplay ...
... now I'm being pun-ished
My doctor said my constant diarrhea was a problem caused by genetics.
Dad jokes are a constant battle...
My husband to me after putting our 3 year old down for bedtime:
"Oh, crap. I need to go get the monitor..."
pauses in the doorway
"You go get the Merrimac."
How do I deal with my zoologist dad's constant jokes?
My coworker complained about the near constant overcast the last few days...
I told him to get used to the new stratus quo.
No reaction.
My dad's a constant dadjoker, but I don't usually have photographic proof. Here's his take on crab feeds.
Boyfriend is a constant dad joker
Today he was playing with one of his parents dogs and looking at the two tumors that she has (they are benign). He said, "one more and she'll have a three-mor!"
My wife left me because of my constant Zodiac puns
When the councilor asked my wife why she wanted to end our marriage, she said she hated all the constant Star Wars puns...
I look at therapist and said, "Divorce is strong with this one!"
My daughter is fed up of my constant wordplay jokes...
I asked her, "What can I do to stop my addiction?"
She said, "Whatever means necessary."
I said, "No it doesn't."
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
