My girlfriend got mad at me for making constant puns and then said she wouldn’t talk to me if I made another one

I said β€œI guess I’m being PUNished”

It’s been a week and she still won’t talk to me. Was it worth it? Yes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spezza_125
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
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A Woman Gives Birth While Enduring Constant Puns From Her Partner youtube.com/watch?v=Dgc6R…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bleedingrobot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
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A Woman Gives Birth While Enduring Constant Puns From Her Partner
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bleedingrobot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2018
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My wife just broke up with me. She's sick and tired of my constant Zodiac puns.

It Taurus apart. I'm in Pisces typing this.

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
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I have a constant urge to eat my mother’s pot brownies...

I think I’ve developed an edible complex.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LaChuteQuiMarche
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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My wife is fed up of my constant Dad jokes, so I asked her, "How can I stop my addiction?"

Wife: "Whatever means necessary,"

Me: "No it doesn't”

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
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A man woke up to find out that he was connected to a constant source of water.

He was quite irrigated about it.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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I went on a gluten free diet because I was experiencing constant headaches.

And it actually worked. Clearly my-grains were the issue here.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yubisaki_Milk_Tea
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
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My boyfriend is getting tired of my constant wordplay jokes, so I asked him how I could stop my addiction.

He said "Whatever means necessary." I answered "No it doesn't."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/municipalplant
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2018
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I didn't want to observe the period from Ash Wednesday to Easter again, but did so to stop my girlfriend's constant nagging...

I re-Lent-ed

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
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My friend keeps pressuring me into going spelunking with him. Well, after weeks and months of constant persuasion...

...I finally caved.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnthonyDuricko
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
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The therapist asked my wife why she wanted to end our marriage. She said she hated all the constant Star Wars puns. I look at the therapist and said, "Divorce is strong with this one!"
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/svk7sarthak
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
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You are on a horse galloping at a constant speed. On your right side, is a sharp drop off and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is another galloping horse, but your horse is unable to overtake it.

Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the horse in front of you.

What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

Get off the merry-go-round!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
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My wife and I were watching women's tennis, and she told me how annoyed she gets with this constant grunting noises.

I said, β€œFine. I’ll stop making them.”

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
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My wife loves tennis, and she was telling me how distracted she gets at the constant grunting during women’s matches.

I told her I’ll try not doing it again.

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
🚨︎ report
So, I went to my doctor today due to a constant headache. He told me I should drink more scrumpy to numb it and I asked "Wouldn't that just make me drunk?"

He told me "Oh, that's just a cider-effect".

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfyfancylads
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
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I threw a boomerang six years ago now I live in constant fear.
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lordoflememes
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
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What do you call a train with constant mood swings?

the bipolar express

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BakexCake
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to the doctor about my constant, terrible, but silent farts...

The doctor said that he should check my hearing first

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HookDragger
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Insomnia is a constant battle...

I will not sleep until I find a cure.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Saladbbar
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
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Someone at work complained about my constant wordplay ...

... now I'm being pun-ished

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NetScr1be
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
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My doctor said my constant diarrhea was a problem caused by genetics.

It runs in my genes.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/keithasaurus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2018
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Dad jokes are a constant battle...

My husband to me after putting our 3 year old down for bedtime:

"Oh, crap. I need to go get the monitor..."

pauses in the doorway

"You go get the Merrimac."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Grumpstick
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2018
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How do I deal with my zoologist dad's constant jokes?

I grin and bear it.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pharoah103090
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2016
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My coworker complained about the near constant overcast the last few days...

I told him to get used to the new stratus quo.

No reaction.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the1nonlyevilelmo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2016
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My dad's a constant dadjoker, but I don't usually have photographic proof. Here's his take on crab feeds.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beatrixie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2014
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Boyfriend is a constant dad joker

Today he was playing with one of his parents dogs and looking at the two tumors that she has (they are benign). He said, "one more and she'll have a three-mor!"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Puffalump
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2013
🚨︎ report
My wife left me because of my constant Zodiac puns

It finally Taurus apart

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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When the councilor asked my wife why she wanted to end our marriage, she said she hated all the constant Star Wars puns...

I look at therapist and said, "Divorce is strong with this one!"

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
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My daughter is fed up of my constant wordplay jokes...

I asked her, "What can I do to stop my addiction?"

She said, "Whatever means necessary."

I said, "No it doesn't."

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2017
🚨︎ report

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