A list of puns related to "Compute!"
for a tech class, i need a team name. I want a punny one. Any suggestions?
Edit: thanks so much!
Why donβt Vikings like to send emails?
They prefer to use Norse code!
more dad style computer jokes at https://puns.dev
A band named 1023 MB was very sad, they couldn't get a gig.
This is unoriginal, but it has been reposted so many times i can't even pund it anywhere in the web, I even asked my pet spider where it was orginally found.
Pun 1: >!A gigabyte is actually 1024 MB not 1000 MB!<
Pun 2: >!Spiders makes webs idiot.!<
How do two programmers make money? One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses.
Whereβs the best place to hide a body? Page two of Google.
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history β with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
If it werenβt for C, weβd all be programming in BASI and OBOL.
There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who donβt.
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurling down the highway.
An SQL statement walks into a bar and sees two tables. It approaches, and asks βmay I join you?β
Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas?
Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft⦠and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None. Itβs a hardware problem.
I named my hard drive βdat assβ so once a month my computer asks if I want to βback dat ass upβ.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as sheβs been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
I changed my password to βincorrectβ. So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say βYour password is incorrectβ.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Itβs ok computer, I go to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity too.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.
Wifi went down during family dinner tonight. One kid started talking and I didnβt know who he was.
I would like to thank everybody that stuck by my side for those five long minutes my house didnβt have internet.
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
Are you a computer whiz? it seems you know how to turn my software to hardwar
... keep reading on reddit β‘I'm looking for a name for a programing team. Do you see a good pun, simple enough to be understood by a beginner ? Thank you
I now pronounce you man and wifi.
Bit by bit
It was an Apple with limited memory; just one byte. Then, everything crashed.
it talks so if it's being annoying just say "open down"
Itβs not stroganoff
Tech Support: βIt seems as though your operating system was installed backwards.β
Me: βSo?β
I am learning how to Excel in spreadsheets in my computer science class
microchips
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. Itβs my laptop.
It takes screen shots.
Because they're scared of the mouse.
They just ransomware.
Now he's a full rack developer.
A server
So I went outside and threw it in the sewer
Megabytes
I told her to just let it go
Because they have the algorithm.
Iβm not too worried, I think sheβs jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf
Now itβs a Monitor.
I dropped my computer on my foot and now...
it megahertz. :D
They just log in. My 7yr old daughter just told me this, so proud!
She answered:"Because they listen to their motherboards"
The American doesnβt have any troubleshooting
It's labelled as my 'I Pee' address.
Me: That canβt be comfortable. Try a chair instead.
Because it ransomware.
Microsoft Offish
a dell
Itβs his mouse pad.
Not sure !! But when it megabytes, it megahertz.
'cos he was a server
One byte at a time.
Bit by bit
Use Windows.
In megabytes.
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