My friend Jack says he can communicate with vegetables.

Jack and the beans talk.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 999
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 07 2021
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Scientists have realised that trees have a way of communicating with each other...

It's called What Sap.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 02 2021
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I heard some crows communicating after one of their own was injured.

They were caws for concern.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/eruditeredditor
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 17 2020
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I invented a way to communicate in dots and dashes to Norwegians...

I call it Norse Code

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/S0n0fRuss
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 25 2020
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Did you know that bees communicate by dancing?

Huh, how bees are....

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SunnySideUp145
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 14 2020
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I have always wondered when chickens communicate, do they use 'fowl' language?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SlickDaivik
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 22 2020
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If you have something urgent to say to your magician friend who you can only communicate with via mail...

You better use a Penn & Teller

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rustyironbuckets
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 30 2020
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My son said, β€œDad, when you were young, was the landline the only way you could communicate with each other?”

I said, β€œNo. Get your fax straight.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 21 2020
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If you have ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly

Because communication is key

Edit: it's from here, so please give the op credit

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/chizhi1234
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 12 2021
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Good communication is key or else

You will get something in your eye

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/xXFox_SonaXx
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 22 2020
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What words do birds use to communicate?

Fowl language

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DoubleT37
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 22 2020
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How do Knights communicate ?

Chain mail

πŸ‘οΈŽ 184
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 05 2020
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What does a deaf mathematician do to communicate?

He uses sine language.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 41
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SonicDaScrewdriver
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 13 2020
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I just found out that dogs and trees can communicate with each other

It's because they bark

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/o-Fon-o
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 15 2020
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Why is Microsoft Outlook no good for communication?

Because Out Look is the opposite of In Touch.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/matthewrmshin
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 31 2020
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I was just reading this story about a guy who went through several tough breaks in life and couldn’t get ahead. One day he just stopped talking and his only way of communicating was through hand and body motion.......

Poor guy turned to a life of mime.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mjleak72
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 01 2020
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Just saw an interesting communications job at Minute Maid

They are looking for someone to do their press releases

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Grechoir
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 23 2020
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What do you call a Scandinavian device used to communicate with the dead?

A Norwegi board

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/asaptoe
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 12 2020
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How do angry people communicate?

Morose code.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JDDDouble
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 05 2020
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You know what they say about overseas communication?

It almost completely happens underseas.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ALizardKing
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 25 2020
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A woman is walking through the park when she sees a very attractive man sitting on a park bench. He's reading a book and eating some fruit out of a Tupperware container. Slowly the woman gathers the courage to go ask the man out...

So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."

Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"

"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."

The man can't believe it.

"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"

Naturally, they're both shocked.

"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."

Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."

They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.

"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"

The man puts down his fruit and responds,

"It's a date!"

show more
πŸ‘οΈŽ 17k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 21 2020
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How to pirates communicate?

Aye to aye

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Semi-Hemi-Demigod
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 04 2020
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Locked myself out of the house today...

Thankfully, l was able to open the door, by talking to it...

Communication is key.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 123
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 08 2020
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I need help solving a pun/riddle.

Context: I'm in a DnD campaign, for fifth edition.

So basically, one of my characters told a horrible pun to a planetar (Massive angel-like being) over Sending (A spell letting you communicate over long distances). "Whaddya call a celestial who likes to fish? An angel-er." and then he got asked to put his journal in the box that suddenly appeared behind hm, He complied, and when he got it back his name was gone from the first page of the book, and there was a golden box, that read "Tell me what I've pun, wizard" So I'm assuming he needs to answer in some sort of pun related to his name, Klaus Hallowmantle.

However, my brain is smoother than... I can't think of anything to compare it to all of a sudden. Oh well. Anyone who can help me with this?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/A_Hipster_Fox
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 13 2021
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How do you communicate with a fish?

You drop him a line.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/gorrilamp
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 23 2020
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Dude gets X-COMmunicated
πŸ‘οΈŽ 117
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/inDgenious
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 18 2019
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My boss insists on face to face communication.

But my only way to work is broken down, and I just can't bring myself to tell him.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 23 2020
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Communication is key
πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SweKrieg
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 23 2019
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How do billboards communicate?

Sign language

πŸ‘οΈŽ 352
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rzj_stuff
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 23 2019
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Communication is the key
πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jnr_jinx
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 23 2019
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How do ponies communicate with each other?

Horse code.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 47
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 22 2019
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Communication is key
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/egjacob13
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 03 2019
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My wife broke it off with me because of communication issues.

Does anyone want to talk to her about it?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 11 2019
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My cousin is mute and likes to communicate via embroidery

I guess it's a version of sign language, sew to speak

πŸ‘οΈŽ 77
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 23 2019
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Don’t tell my WiFe, but...

I have been using an Ethernet cable more than anything else.

You can say we have poor communication which makes it difficult to connect.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Real_Tohsaka
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 03 2020
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I’m very opposed to using old forms of communication,

You can call me an anti-faxer.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VaiterZen
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 29 2019
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What type of board does Mario use to communicate with the dead?

A Luigi board.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 10 2019
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One day a man asked a dog. How do you communicate with other dogs?

The dog barked

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Exe123deadstart
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 11 2019
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A mere cat checking out the finer points of 2-meter communications.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DepletedGeranium
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 22 2019
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How did Viking sailors communicate?

Using Norse Code

πŸ‘οΈŽ 303
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JKent2017
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 05 2017
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Did you know bees communicate by dancing?

That’s how bees-are

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SnooAvocados7098
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 18 2020
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My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.

Jack and the beans talk.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 06 2020
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TIL Jack can communicate with vegetables...

Jack and the beans talk...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 22 2020
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How do birds communicate?

They Tweet.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Wal_Target
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 02 2020
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How do birds communicate?

They Tweet.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Wal_Target
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 26 2020
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If you ever get locked out of your house just talk to the lock.

Communication is key...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 251
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ThaCrimsonChinn
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 27 2020
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What device does Mario use when he wants to communicate with the dead?

A Lou-ouija board.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Renton_Knox
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 27 2016
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