My sister is going on a date for coffee with a guy named joe....

You could say she’s going for a cup with Joe.....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shump23
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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My friend passed away after drinking an out of date coffee...

I just hope it was instant.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chrislaker92
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
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A woman is walking through the park when she sees a very attractive man sitting on a park bench. He's reading a book and eating some fruit out of a Tupperware container. Slowly the woman gathers the courage to go ask the man out...

So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."

Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"

"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."

The man can't believe it.

"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"

Naturally, they're both shocked.

"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."

Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."

They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.

"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"

The man puts down his fruit and responds,

"It's a date!"

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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Got by roommate over breakfast today.

While drinking coffee and eating dates, my roommate asked me "What were dates before they were dates?" "They were acquaintances" I replied.

πŸ‘︎ 157
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fluffy_Mcquacks
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2014
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Dadjoked in bed!

Laying in bed with my wife the morning after an anniversary date. "Hunny, those mussels were SO good last night!"

"Well yeah, I mean I'm not working out for no reason!"

Rolls eyes. Gets out of bed and makes coffee. Was not spoken of again. I regret nothing.

πŸ‘︎ 80
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πŸ‘€︎ u/soomuchcoffee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2014
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