How did the dinosaur get clean?

With a meteor shower!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 87
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DecIsMuchJuvenile
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 27 2020
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What TV shows are squeaky clean?

Soap Operas

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Broke_Gam3r
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 25 2021
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How does a pirate clean cards?

He swabs the deck

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/gameboy90
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 02 2021
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How do you clean a pig?

Ham sanitizer

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fletch-8221
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 30 2020
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My friend was shot clean through his skull but survived.

I can’t imagine what was going through his mind at the time.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 72
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/winkelschleifer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 19 2020
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What do you call a dinosaur who is easy to clean, heat resistant and long lasting?

py-rex

I'll get my coat...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 445
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/byte_marx
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 26 2020
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How does the Earth keep itself clean ?

With a meteor shower

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Amart1985
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 03 2020
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The first company to rename their dinner rolls "gravy mops" is really going to clean up.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/OtakuShogun
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 26 2020
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When I was in college, my roommate used to clean my room, and I used to clean his.

We were maid for each other.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 66
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 12 2020
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Mom told son to clean his room. But instead, he set it on fire...

It was a hot mess

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Talon184
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 24 2020
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What do you call clean music? [OC]

A soap opera!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Yonfire
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 19 2020
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My daughter wanted to clean her cardboard rocketship with her face cloth...

Trying to reduce the enormous amount of laundry associated with kids,

I said, "you don't need to clean your rocketship. It's not dirty. Space is a vacuum"....

I could hear my wife's eyes roll in the next room. Success!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Tren898
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 20 2020
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How does Chris Kringle clean his hands?

Santa-Izer!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Riverrat423
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 25 2020
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How do you clean your hands at the North Pole?

You use hand Santa-tizer.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/spiffypack
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 18 2020
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I clean all my weapons with tree sap.

Some say I’m crazy, but I’m sticking to my guns.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 320
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DinglebarryHandpump
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 15 2020
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I play minesweeper while my wife cleans the house...

Because she is dealing with hersweeper

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rubenmiq
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 21 2020
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Dwayne Johnson paid me to clean up and organize his craft room, but sadly, I lost his scrapbook cutting tool.

I lost the Rock’s paper scissors.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dasbett311
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 12 2020
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How did dinosaurs clean their teeth?

With flossils.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 36
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/demonicplanet
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 05 2020
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Why did the flatbread become a clean comedian?

He wanted to be naan-offensive.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mealonx
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 14 2020
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Many Folks Don’t Know that Santa Often has to Clean the Small Bits of Poo from his Reindeer Butts.

They call them Jingle Berries.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SchpeederMan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 09 2020
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me: *cleans vacuum cleaner*

I’m a vacuum cleaner

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SmeltingFire
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 03 2020
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How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?

They gargoyle

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 30 2020
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Who keeps the ocean clean?

A mermaid!

Courtesy of my 10 year old daughter

πŸ‘οΈŽ 60
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/No_Gray_Area
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 10 2020
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If you clean a vacuum cleaner...

...you make the vacuum cleaner.

If you make a living out of it, you'd be called the vacuum cleaner.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NecroUknown
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 07 2020
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Why was the tailless horse so clean?

It got detailed!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CjMcDonald85
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 11 2020
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What do you find in a clean nose?

Fingerprints

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/iheartcorneas
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 24 2020
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What do volunteers clean up outside of libraries?

Literature.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/squasher04
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 16 2020
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My friend used to clean house for a famous singer-guitar player, til he died in 2016. She then became a police investigator...

She dusted for Prince now she's dusting for prints.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 13 2020
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I got my fish to clean my tank for free

Suckers

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Proudfishy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 29 2020
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What do you clean a band instrument with?

A tuba glue

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rekker_dekker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 07 2020
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After days, it felt nice to finally come clean

I was starting to smell

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AudenWolfe
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 21 2020
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[META] Dad jokes should be clean, not just groan-inducing. That's what makes it a Dad joke, we can tell it to the kids in front of Mom and not get in trouble (other than maybe for the punchline).
πŸ‘οΈŽ 11k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/b6a6a6l
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 29 2019
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How do you clean the inside of a Uterus?

With a Womba.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Hamburgertime604
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 21 2020
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Two cowboys walking through the plains, no food or water, death imminent. When through hazy vision one of them spies a tree, covered in bacon by an oasis of pure clean. One cowboy hide behind a rock, as his confused friend runs to the tree... only to be gunned down by some bandits.

The second cowboy is relieved to be alive, and thankful that he knew that that was no bacon tree.

It was a ham bush

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MafiaCub
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 25 2020
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I washed my whites today. They got so clean,

it left me bleachless.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kartenhouse
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 21 2020
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What does the Mandalorian use to clean up Baby Yoda's messes?

He uses Bounty [a paper towel brand in the US]

I'm very proud--my teenage son just came up with this one, though I see a few variations when searching through past dad jokes.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tampaillini
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 19 2020
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Crisp and clean
πŸ‘οΈŽ 105
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/smock707
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 03 2020
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Trying to write some clean jokes about bowling balls

but they keep ending up in the gutter.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/maximusheadroom
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 07 2019
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I think we all should use nothing but mops and brooms to clean our floors

I guess that means I'm anti-vacs.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nashvulnative
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 15 2020
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Why do vampires clean their teeth three times a day?

To prevent bat breath.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/D3V1L420
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 23 2020
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When I was in college, my roommate and I would clean each other's rooms

We were maid for each other

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/_joshi_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 26 2020
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What a clean joke.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/puffskeleton
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 03 2020
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When you clean the vaccum cleaner, you become the vaccum cleaner
πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MarshmelloFan135
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 07 2020
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What's the best way to clean up fake shit?

Sham Poo

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BadA55Name
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 12 2020
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My friend told me he was using sodium hydroxide to clean his pillows

What a weird thing to lye about

πŸ‘οΈŽ 57
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sad-44magnum
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 11 2020
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What do you call someone who cleans a vaccum cleaner?

A vaccum cleaner.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 93
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MyPillowGuy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 30 2020
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How do aliens keep themselves clean while in space?

With a meteor shower!!!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Amart1985
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 25 2020
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When I was in college my roommate used to clean my room and I used to clean his

We were maid for each other

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/farrukhsshah
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report

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