Class Act Puns

My professor was talking about how people need to practice their monologues around others not just themselves.

Professor: You need to practice these everywhere. Recite it to your family, your friends, your dog, even your refrigerator!

Me: I don't know about that one, my fridge can be pretty cold at times.

So we all had to get on stage and tell a prepared joke. But before that even got started, our teacher said,

"I like your jorts, did you cut them yourself?"

"Yeah, they used to be regular jants."

...it was the only class where I didn't get in trouble for acting up

a post man. Yes, my Dad actually made this up.

A class act!

...it wasn't that big of a deal, He woke up.

Don't act like you haven't dozed off in a history class before.

At the end of every class when everyone was ready to go, he'd tell us, "Hold on, there's only two more," meaning powerpoint slides. Then he'd pause, act like he'd had an epiphany and declare, "You know, my aunt had a two-more..."

My professor had taught us about these doohickeys called multiplexers, which we sometimes also call "data selectors," in a previous lecture.

At the next lecture we had a review: he would draw a symbol and we would shout out what it represented, and he was hamming it up, acting like a game show host.

He drew a multiplexer on the board and asked the class, "what's this?" "A multiplexer!" some students called out. "Right! Now," says the prof, "what is another word for 'multiplexer'?" "A data selector!" someone answers correctly. But he looks like the student just blew the million-dollar question. "Hmm... 'a data selector'... no, I'm afraid not—that's three words!"

His two young kids have probably learned not to ask him about what he teaches.

Me: So today in Acting class I managed to bruise my knee and cut my thigh.

Dad: Acting is dangerous. Perhaps you should do something less dangerous like football.