Cemetery Man Puns

“Nah just taking a shit”

I shouted “Morning!” He said “No, just walking the dog.”

... his grave is 3 down and 7 across!

Best said when driving past any cemetery...

4 best dadjokes when driving past a cemetery:

1. That’s the dead centre of town. 2. People are dying to get in there. 3. A man tried to sell me a coffin there today; I told him that’s the last thing I need! 4. Actually, the man who invented the crossword is buried there… his grave is 5 down & 7 across!

The man was saddened deeply at the loss. It felt only natural that he bury the animal properly. He went to a nearby church. He found the priest and said, "Sir, can you help me? I would like to give my dog a proper burial."

The priest was bothered by the notion of burying the dog in the cemetery. He replied, " I am sorry for your loss sir, but we can't accept your pet into our burial grounds."

The man's heart sank, but he wasn't about to give up. He asked the priest, "Is their anywhere I can take him?"

The priest thought carefully and said, "You can try one of the protestant churches on the other side of town."

A gleam of hope came over the man's face. "Thank you Father, I will do just that. I do have one final question. Being a man of the cloth do you think a $10,000 donation would be appropriate for whomever will let me bury my pet?

The priest then burst out, " I am so sorry sir you can most certainly bury your pet here! You didn't mention that your dog was Catholic!"

I'm not sure if anyone has ever posted this Dad Joke yet, but here it goes: Every single time that I have passed a cemetery while with my father, and I mean every time, he says "Man, people are dying to get in there."

A man is going for a walk one morning, and passes a cemetery. He sees a lady kneeling down by a gravestone. He calls out, "Morning!" to the lady.

The lady stands up and says, "Nope, just a gardner. Pulling Weeds."

I was in the car with my girlfriend, her dad, and her sister. We passed by a cemetery on the highway.

Sister: Man, sure is dead in there.

Me: Are you kidding? It's the most happening place in town! People are just dying to get in!

Laughs from dad, groans from girls