π︎ 21
π
︎ Nov 25 2014
π︎ 35
π
︎ Sep 26 2014
If Kanye becomes president, how long till weβre celebrating Yeezster instead?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 03 2021
My wife and I just celebrated 10 years of happy marriage...
It was coincidentally our 30th wedding anniversary.
π︎ 296
π
︎ Feb 15 2021
Did you know that there's a whole religion of people that celebrate Pi day?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 15 2021
Overheard at work: On my 40th birthday, I will be celebratingβ¦
The first anniversary of my 39th birthday.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 15 2021
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 10 2021
Who is the most popular celebrity in Scandinavia?
π︎ 28
π
︎ Feb 16 2021
Lunar new year in Vietnam is celebrated with lion dances, dragon dances, fireworks, family gatherings and meals, ancestor worship, and giving red envelopes to children and the elderly.
Thank you for coming to my TαΊΏt talk.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 06 2021
Sign of the times
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Dec 23 2020
Where did the car thieves go to celebrate after a successful robbery?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 01 2021
How do you celebrate orange drink that doesn't expire?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 09 2021
We canβt celebrate New Years because then...
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
Day 7: What did the windmill say meeting her favourite celebrity
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 07 2021
BREAKING NEWS: Eminem has just become the first celebrity to be diagnosed with Coronavirus..
In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy.. He presented with vomit on his sweater already.. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti
π︎ 22k
π
︎ Feb 05 2020
Where did the keys on a computer keyboard went to celebrate new years eve
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
Which kind of Swiss cheese always celebrates its birthday?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 13 2020
Star wars celebrity names
Apologies if this breaks the rules however. My friends and I are making up names of star wars characters combined with celebrity names. So far we've come up with Darth spader, sith rogan, and obi wan kobe.
Any others we cant think of?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 16 2020
Hear the one about the celebrity Italian chef
Last night he just pasta way
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 22 2020
I met a woman once at a party celebrating my father's 50th birthday.
We got to talking and I found out she worked as a stunt double on some pretty big name movie sets. She looked to be at least 10 years my senior but very fit and attractive and we both seemed to really be hitting it off.
Because all the immediate family in the local area had thrown a smaller, more private celebration for my father a few days prior, I didn't really feel a need to stick around any longer, so I asked the woman if she was interested in sharing some drinks with me at the nearby Hilton where I was staying. She happily accepted.
Suddenly, I turned towards the sound of my father's voice cheerfully calling out the name "Andra" (pronounced ON-druh) and my own as he approached. Andra, the woman I had been speaking with, turned towards him, glanced quickly back at me, then looked back again at my father and with a disconcerted look on her face exclaimed, "Oh brother!"
And that's when I realized the double, Aunt Andra.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 08 2021
Me: going to my friends for new year's eve celebration
My dad: See you in a year.
Ps. It happens every damn time
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 31 2020
I have started carrying a piece of stone with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs before Thanksgiving.
Itβs my jingle bell rock.
π︎ 17k
π
︎ Oct 17 2020
Who was the only celebrity with four body parts in his name?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Nov 26 2020
A Japanese zoo just celebrated the birth of a baby elephant
Before that nobody addressed the elephant in the womb.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 02 2020
If the cameramen who take photos of celebrities are the paparazzi...
then the cameramen who take photos of poor people are the pauperazzi
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 27 2020
On the day my friends were hosting my birthday celebration, I had diarrhea.
π︎ 23
π
︎ Nov 15 2020
Excellent work, ought to be celebrated
π︎ 31
π
︎ Aug 22 2020
What's a bumblebee's favorite celebrity
π︎ 9
π
︎ Sep 23 2020
My friend asked what I was doing to celebrate my cake day.
I sat silently because I had no re-torte
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 05 2020
A pirate wanted to celebrate his captainβs birthday, so he bought a large quantity of balloons while ashore. Back on the ship, he walked over to hand the balloons to the captain, but he tripped and most of them floated away. The captain said, βArrr! That was a costly mistake...β
βWe lost a lot of doubloons.β
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 28 2020
I went to the candle store to celebrate my cake day...
They were having a blowout sale.
π︎ 104
π
︎ Aug 13 2020
Who's the most dangerous celebrity?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 15 2020
My wife broke up with me at the star wars celebration. An anakin cosplayer came up to me, put his hand on my shoulder, and said...
π︎ 21
π
︎ Sep 28 2020
A salutary lesson. Posted to r/jokes, probably more Dad-like
Certain related tribes in sub-Saharan Africa often raided each other's villages when most folk were herding animals. Sometimes they would take vegetables and water, but more often taking little things, to gently mock each other. It was all in good fun. After a successful raid, the "winning" tribe would celebrate by dancing under the stars, or in one of their large, grass-covered spirit houses.
One day, the Imaqi took their Satari shaman's sceptre. The following day, the Satari not only stole the sceptre back, but also the Imaqi chief's regalia.
It went back and forth, until, on a rare and daring escapade, three Imaqi warriors stole the Santari chief's throne. They put it on display, above their chief's throne in the spirit house.
The Imaqi thought that this was hilarious, and as it was beginning to rain, made merry and danced in the spirit house. Suddenly, the heavy throne on display fell down and killed a number of the dancing revelers.
The moral should be obvious: those who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 16 2021
What a sexist society we live in, today is National Daughter's Day and it's celebrated once a year.....
But we celebrate Son day every week!
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 26 2020
Today at dinner, my little brother asked me who a skeletonβs favorite celebrity is. I asked who, then he proceeded to Skeletor laugh and say....
π︎ 31
π
︎ Aug 05 2020
My wifeβs 32 today but Iβm only allowed to celebrate my wifeβs birthday for half a minute
After all it is her thirty second birthday
π︎ 91
π
︎ May 18 2020
Trees celebrating this month as
π︎ 11
π
︎ Oct 01 2020
My wife and I just celebrated her 32nd birthday yesterday.
It was the fastest birthday party weβve ever had.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Jun 23 2020
How do pickles celebrate their cake day?
π︎ 67
π
︎ Jun 13 2020
To all of you who have been disowned by fathers. In honor of pride month and on behalf of all dads of R/dadjokes I just wanna say, buffalo.
Because you can always be our bi-son, and even if you don't feel like shooting straight, we will always be trans-parent with you. You are loved.
π︎ 19k
π
︎ Jun 14 2020
My family just celebrated the 200th anniversary of owning a buffalo farm!
Yep. It's our bison-tennial.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Jan 25 2020
How do you call a fight between celebrities?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jul 25 2020
Yesterday I celebrated my thirty second birthday.
It just seems a little unfair that I only get half of a minute when everyone else gets the whole day.
π︎ 48
π
︎ Jul 07 2020
Are French speaking people celebrating 420 as well? Or do they just call it 80?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Apr 20 2020
I wrote an epic poem with only one line.
It's in celebration of the universe.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 21 2021
I like celebrating Fathers' Day, but I'm not a dad.
I guess I'm just a faux pas.
π︎ 45
π
︎ Jun 21 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
