What is an astronaut's favorite candy bar?
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︎ Jan 24 2021
Proud dad moment: My five year old and I were discussing Halloween candy. I told him I like Kit-Kats.
He picked out a Butterfinger from his bag, held it up, and said βKit-Kats are good but these are butter.β
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︎ Nov 09 2020
A Fun Fact About Candy Cane Shrimp [OC]
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︎ Dec 25 2020
I was told not to eat the candy in court...
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︎ Jan 05 2021
Music is like candy
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︎ Dec 18 2020
What's the best ride in Candy Land?
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︎ Dec 18 2020
Whatβs a girlβs favorite candy bar?
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︎ Nov 18 2020
The second time Hansel and Gretel found a house made of cookies and candy, they sent someone else in to test-nibble it first.
This technique became known as Munch Housen by Proxy.
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︎ Jan 01 2021
Did you hear about the dad who has the world's largest candy cane collection?
They're all in mint condition.
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︎ Dec 06 2020
I donβt like candy bars anymore
They always Snicker at me
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︎ Dec 01 2020
What kind of candy is neve on time ?
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︎ Dec 05 2020
Why wouldnβt the crab share his Halloween candy?
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︎ Oct 31 2020
Why couldn't Gavin resist eating the candy?
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︎ Nov 12 2020
Every year I'm surprised at how cheap candy canes are...
You'd think they'd be more expensive - they're in mint condition!
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︎ Oct 11 2020
My friend knows just who he can trust in the seedy part of town to get him safe candy and sweets...
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︎ Oct 16 2020
I gave my wife a nickname and it's "Candy"
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︎ Oct 05 2020
What do you call a candy which doesn't like to be with others?
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︎ Nov 02 2020
What candy tells the truth?
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︎ Oct 21 2020
What is Vladimer Putin's favourite candy?
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︎ Sep 24 2020
My son ate too much Easter candy one year, and threw it all up making loud wailing sounds as he did so.
I didn't want to hear another Peep out of him.
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︎ Sep 15 2020
Why was the German boy sad when sister ran away with his 3-Musketeers Candy Bar ??
Because he was Far-from-nougat!
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︎ Jul 31 2020
I am going to decorate my next christmas tree with miniature tnt sticks instead of candy canes
Oh tannen-bomb oh tannen-bomb...
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︎ Jul 05 2020
I knew a guy who collected candy canes.
They were all in mint condition
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︎ Jul 02 2020
Its important to keep some candy in your pocket at all times.
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︎ May 02 2019
I tried juggling some candy bars but kept dropping them.
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︎ Mar 19 2020
What do you call a clever yet contemptible Brit who makes chocolate and candy in a super-secret factory?
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︎ Jul 01 2020
What is a Sith Lord's Favorite Candy
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︎ May 15 2020
While I was buying some candy the other day, I told the employees a joke.
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︎ Mar 22 2020
*pulls candy bar out of thin air*
Kid: WOW are you a magician?
Me: no, but I have a couple of twix up my sleeve
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︎ Feb 01 2020
Look out for cold sores when sharing candy this Valentine's day...
Mine went from Mounds of Joy to Herpes Kisses.
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︎ Feb 15 2020
Whatβs a happy cowboyβs favorite candy?
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︎ Mar 29 2020
What type of candy is always late?
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︎ May 26 2020
Imagine having a job at a Candy Store
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︎ Apr 23 2020
Two people fell in love as they were sharing Gems candy. What do you call their relationship?
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︎ Apr 13 2020
I felt bad for eating my Jewish friend's coin shaped chocolate candy he had purchased to given his children at Hanukkah...
Pangs of gelt haunt me to this day!
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︎ May 16 2020
A coca cola candy cane... it's a Cocane
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︎ Feb 01 2020
My friend's a candy magician.
He's always got a few Twix up his sleeve.
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︎ Jan 17 2020
My daughter found a candy wrapper to play with.
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︎ Apr 13 2020
My brother always has hard candy inside a pocket of his 3-piece suit
He calls them βin vest mintsβ.
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︎ Jan 11 2020
Someone kidnapped the Easter Bunny, hoping to steal his stash of candy. But the Bunny was steadfast and wouldn't talk.
Couldn't get a Peep out of him.
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︎ Mar 20 2020
To reddit, I leave my only Mentos candy with a frog on it.
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︎ Mar 02 2020
What is a maggotβs favorite candy?
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︎ Nov 13 2019
Watch out for the candy shop owner...
He has some twix up his sleeve
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︎ Jan 07 2020
On my roll of candy
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︎ Nov 06 2019
My wife gave our 2 year old candy cause she was crying...
Usually I don't condone infant gratification but I'll let it slide this time...
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︎ Feb 13 2020
I need candy puns
Please give me puns I can quickly shout while walking through the hallway and chucking candy after screaming the pun. Preferably candy you would get on Halloween. Thank you for helping me out.
You are Musketeers of my heart.
.............
i hate myself
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︎ Nov 01 2019
I knew a guy who collected candy canes...
They were all in mint condition
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︎ Jul 03 2020
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