What is an astronaut's favorite candy bar?

Milky way

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brady01234
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Proud dad moment: My five year old and I were discussing Halloween candy. I told him I like Kit-Kats.

He picked out a Butterfinger from his bag, held it up, and said β€œKit-Kats are good but these are butter.”

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chrisoatkins
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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A Fun Fact About Candy Cane Shrimp [OC]
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChumpsLand
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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I was told not to eat the candy in court...

Those are judge mints

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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Music is like candy

Throw away the wrappers

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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What's the best ride in Candy Land?

The Rollo' Coaster

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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What’s a girl’s favorite candy bar?

Her/she

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MangoAway17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
The second time Hansel and Gretel found a house made of cookies and candy, they sent someone else in to test-nibble it first.

This technique became known as Munch Housen by Proxy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the dad who has the world's largest candy cane collection?

They're all in mint condition.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/culculain
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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I don’t like candy bars anymore

They always Snicker at me

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AshamedTurtwig
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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What kind of candy is neve on time ?

Chocolate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Why wouldn’t the crab share his Halloween candy?

He’s shellfish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anddditburns
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't Gavin resist eating the candy?

Because he Gavin!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Springbonnie1893
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Every year I'm surprised at how cheap candy canes are...

You'd think they'd be more expensive - they're in mint condition!

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
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My friend knows just who he can trust in the seedy part of town to get him safe candy and sweets...

He has treat smarts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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I gave my wife a nickname and it's "Candy"

She thinks it's sweet

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a candy which doesn't like to be with others?

A lonelypop

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πŸ‘€︎ u/D0R0B0
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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What candy tells the truth?

...a nestle speaking

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arc-ion
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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What is Vladimer Putin's favourite candy?

Novichokolate

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mehrtellica
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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My son ate too much Easter candy one year, and threw it all up making loud wailing sounds as he did so.

I didn't want to hear another Peep out of him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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Why was the German boy sad when sister ran away with his 3-Musketeers Candy Bar ??

Because he was Far-from-nougat!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bad11ama
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
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I am going to decorate my next christmas tree with miniature tnt sticks instead of candy canes

Oh tannen-bomb oh tannen-bomb...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I knew a guy who collected candy canes.

They were all in mint condition

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πŸ‘€︎ u/howiewu0402
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Its important to keep some candy in your pocket at all times.

It could be a lifesaver.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotter66
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I tried juggling some candy bars but kept dropping them.

I have Butterfingers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bhjeff
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
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What do you call a clever yet contemptible Brit who makes chocolate and candy in a super-secret factory?

Wily Wanka!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pippingigi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
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What is a Sith Lord's Favorite Candy

Dark Side chocolate

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BRWalrus
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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While I was buying some candy the other day, I told the employees a joke.

Got some snickers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JiminyKirket
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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*pulls candy bar out of thin air*

Kid: WOW are you a magician?

Me: no, but I have a couple of twix up my sleeve

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πŸ‘€︎ u/renskappert
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Look out for cold sores when sharing candy this Valentine's day...

Mine went from Mounds of Joy to Herpes Kisses.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
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What’s a happy cowboy’s favorite candy?

Jolly ranchers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WarningOutOfMind
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What type of candy is always late?

A choco-late

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theredditman111
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Imagine having a job at a Candy Store

That would be sweet

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bearnakedgamer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Two people fell in love as they were sharing Gems candy. What do you call their relationship?

Bond, Gems Bond.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madjholu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I felt bad for eating my Jewish friend's coin shaped chocolate candy he had purchased to given his children at Hanukkah...

Pangs of gelt haunt me to this day!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
A coca cola candy cane... it's a Cocane
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
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My friend's a candy magician.

He's always got a few Twix up his sleeve.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pfheonix
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter found a candy wrapper to play with.

I call him chance.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nyccfan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother always has hard candy inside a pocket of his 3-piece suit

He calls them β€œin vest mints”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/uconnrob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone kidnapped the Easter Bunny, hoping to steal his stash of candy. But the Bunny was steadfast and wouldn't talk.

Couldn't get a Peep out of him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/emjay144
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
🚨︎ report
To reddit, I leave my only Mentos candy with a frog on it.

My last Memento

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotSoButtHurt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What is a maggot’s favorite candy?

Feces Pieces

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ssaammiiaamm
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Watch out for the candy shop owner...

He has some twix up his sleeve

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πŸ‘€︎ u/QuirkyLotad
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
🚨︎ report
On my roll of candy
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kjkfloor17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife gave our 2 year old candy cause she was crying...

Usually I don't condone infant gratification but I'll let it slide this time...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTimeDictator
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I need candy puns

Please give me puns I can quickly shout while walking through the hallway and chucking candy after screaming the pun. Preferably candy you would get on Halloween. Thank you for helping me out.

You are Musketeers of my heart.

.............

i hate myself

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πŸ‘€︎ u/energized-pickle
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I knew a guy who collected candy canes...

They were all in mint condition

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WispyNarwhal
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
🚨︎ report

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