From my 11-year-old daughter: why is "dark" spelled with a "k" instead of a "c"?

Because you can't "c" in the dark!

I've never been more proud.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UGADawgGuy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2022
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C/o my 11-year-old son...

Whilst talking about atoms and molecules with my kids, he comes out with this beauty;

"I don't trust atoms. They make up everything."

So proud.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Papa_Canonball
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2021
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Share your favorite Tombstone Puns

Halloween is approaching and I am making some punny tombstone decorations, in the spirit of Disney's Haunted Mansion cemetery. I thought it would be fun to collect some new ones from the reddit community. Here are Disney's crypt puns. Please share any additional ones that you can come up with.

  1. Asher T. Ashes (Ashes to ashes)
  2. Bea Witch (Bewitch)
  3. C. U. Later (See you later)
  4. Clare Voince (Clairvoyance)
  5. Dustin T. Dust (Dust into dust)
  6. G. I. Missyou (Gee I miss you)
  7. Hail N. Hardy (Hale and hearty)
  8. Hal Lusinashun (Hallucination)
  9. Hap A. Rition (Apparition)
  10. I. Emma Spook (I am a spook)
  11. I. L. Beback (I'll be back)
  12. I. M. Mortal (I am mortal)
  13. I. M. Ready (I am ready)
  14. I. Trudy Departed (I truly departed)
  15. I. Trudy Dew (I truly do)
  16. Levi Tation (Levitation)
  17. Love U. Trudy (Love you truly)
  18. M. T. Tomb (Empty tomb)
  19. Manny Festation (Manifestation)
  20. Metta Fisiks (Metaphysics)
  21. Paul Tergyst (Poltergeist)
  22. Pearl E. Gates (Pearly Gates)
  23. Ray N. Carnation (Reincarnation)
  24. Rustin Peece (Rest in peace)
  25. Rusty Gates (Rusty Gates)
  26. Theo Later (See you later)
  27. U. R. Gone (You are gone)
  28. Wee G. Bord (Ouija board)
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/offsky
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2021
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What did the pirate say when asked which cable he used to charge his phone, causing the ice caps to melt and submerge the entire United States.

USB-C

Source: Came up with this myself whilst talking pirate to my 11 year old. (It happens sometimes). Forgive me…

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Neemulus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2021
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FWD: Fwd: FWD FWD: Fwd: Emails from Dad

MAN LAWS

The International Rules of Manhood

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:

(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.

(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.

(c) After wrecking your boss' car.

(d) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CampConcentration
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2014
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