By Fire Puns

"Then you’ll have a match."

Guess you could say he needed a fire HYDRAnt

...all I hear is, “There’s a bear somewhere out there who knows how to use matches”.

Dude 3: I think it was Hotel California. "Last thing I remember, I was running for the door..."

I said, "That's a weird name for an author."

He was toad away.

but they didn't accept Cash

If it burns, it’s a smart ant. If it does not, it’s retardant.

I've been told that I'm losing the plot.

Watching the Olympics we got on the subject of swimming and how difficult of a sport it is.

Me: Swimming isn't too bad, but really I'm only decent at freestyle. Everything else is terrible. Definitely takes a lot of practice, or body fat.

Him: I can breast stroke all day. My wife gets pretty tired of it though.

My girlfriend: My brother went to london when he was studying abroad.

My dad: Oh, what was her name?

Me: How long did one last him?

"Then you’ll have a match."

Then you’ll have a match...

Then you'll have a match.

"Then you’ll have a match."

"Then you’ll have a match!"

Then you’ll have a match.