Business is boomin reddit.com/gallery/jowjx4
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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I started an Origami business once

Gave it up though, too much paperwork

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/liamo000
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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I've started a boating business from my attic.

The sails are going through the roof.

πŸ‘︎ 252
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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How'd the lumberjack get a business loan?

He axed nicely.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nunyabiz89
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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My friend and I started a business where we weigh tiny objects.

It’s a small scale operation.

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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I started a new business farming microscopic fish

It's a small scale operation

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
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How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?

They just ransomware.

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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Why did the mortgage broker go out of business?

He lost interest.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Imholt11
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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I’m starting a chiropractic business specializing in homeopathic & aromatherapy approaches...

Back & Body Hurts

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whoeatscheese
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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Why are locksmiths allowed to remain open during lockdown?

They are key workers

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CarBoobSale
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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My friend has a business painting rooftops.

You need to book now while his service is on the house.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Koevoet91
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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What do you call a gay business meeting?

A Mandate :3

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rabbitsdiedaily
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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If you know you know
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/its_boogeyman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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Friend made it for business
πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chewyd3mon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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You would think that the state that is most popular for Casino's and lucrative businesses...

...would be better at counting

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dantr1x
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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What do you call a person who starts their own cow poop business?

An entre-manure

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/onesadbean
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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Why did the angry doctor go out of business?

Because he was losing his patience.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Banditrocket2224
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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I invested every cent I have in a cannabis-fed cattle business.

The steaks have never been higher.

πŸ‘︎ 83
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArmyofNorthernVA
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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I'm starting a business in airports selling bags with the faces of Sid James, Hattie Jacques, Kenneth Williams, Charles Hawtrey and Joan Sims on them.

It'll be called "Carry On Baggage".

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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Good looking people are always busy

I could tell you why, but I'm busy right now

πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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Apparently, Neil deGrasse Tyson has a brother, who has a very successful grass-cutting business.

Yup. His name is Moe.

πŸ‘︎ 219
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πŸ‘€︎ u/batnuna
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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Why was the horses business doing so well?

β€œBecause it has a stabled economy.”

My 10yo daughter just came up to me with this after sitting there stewing about my previous joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fracken_a
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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Why did the cow and the horse start a business together?

They figured they could make a lot of Moo Neigh.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
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Minding my own business, when someone I thought was my friend threw a serving plate full of bumblebees at me.

I was bee-trayed.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThaStrangr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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My business of making T-shirts decorated with dayglo currency was struggling, so I asked my dad for advice.

He said, β€œI’ve told you a million times, money doesn’t glow on Tees.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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Led Zeppelin ran a laundry appliance business.

They were called the Dryer Makers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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Did you hear Christopher Cross retired as a musician to make time for his new business venture?

Chris Cross Applesauce

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoMoreTerritory
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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Started a business selling highlander themed masks but it failed miserably.

Apparently, their can be only one.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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Why did the spice shop go out of business?

They just couldn’t keep up with the thymes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FangsofOrcrist
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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Dad Flights Inc. is losing business

Some would say it’s a receding airline...

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RosselWestbrook
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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Business name puns

I'm starting an ice cream roll business and need a good pun for a business name, any ideas?

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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After a long day I want to take a dump as soon as I get home, but it's not my first order of business.

That's #2 on my list.

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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How do planets staying busy during hunting season?

By shooting stars

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pillaryspud
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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I have a friend who owns a yachting business, but had to work from home due to the pandemic...

Now his sails are through the roof.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DNDLoser07
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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A friend of mine is starting a new business... he thinks there's going to be a huge demand for cannabis-fed cattle.

I thought about investing, but the steaks are too high.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VA_DiagSexAddict
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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During Coronavirus, always pay businesses with cash where possible.

It will help them make a gross profit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joshzyx612
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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I built a business where all proceeds went to Charity.

But I ended up in jail because apparently not telling them my daughter’s name is Charity was a big no no.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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I put all my spare cash into an origami business...

It folded

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/laserspewpew_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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Son: Daddy there’s a spider in my room. Dad: he’s fine, he’s just minding his own business. Son: what business does a spider have?

Dad: web design.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bringojackprot
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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Will glass coffins be a successful business?

Remains to be seen...

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BatfleckPwns
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
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The business man opened a shadow puppet theater that should make a fortune!

But that’s just projected figures.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/banditk77
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
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I am a proud dad today - my son ask me what this Indian bread on top of the fridge is for

I told him it’s Naan of his business

Edit: he could have replied β€œpapa dumb”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PLUMBUM2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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My business is on the verge of bankcruptcy even though I am doing everything right.

It doesn't make any cents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/phoqkhan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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What does a nosy pepper do?

Gets jalapeΓ±o business.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lostgonad
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I started a boating business in my attic..

Sails are through the roof.

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GigaMike123
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend and I started a business where we weigh microscopic objects.

It’s a small scale operation.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BillyBob_TX
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I just started a business where we specialize in weighing tiny objects.

It’s a small scale operation.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I've just started a business where I weigh tiny objects.

It's a small scale operation

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report

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