In spite of breaking both of his arms in an accident, my friend is surprisingly upbeat.
You β¦gotta hand it to him.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 25 2022
A comedian is in the hospital after breaking his funny bone.
Doctors say his condition is serious.
π︎ 41
π
︎ Nov 01 2022
Breaking news: hydropower plant in our state is on fire!
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 11 2022
BREAKING: Russia has struck its own submarine with an underwater torpedo in the Black Sea, killing all 69 aboard
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Feb 03 2022
Breaking news! Chris Hemsworth did NOT, in fact, badly injure himself while lifting weights.
He was just a little Thor.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Aug 10 2022
The actor from Breaking Bad decided to experiment with drugs in order to know how to better preform his character.
π︎ 7
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︎ Jul 27 2022
BREAKING: North Korean Leader in vegetative state following surgery.
They're going to start calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Apr 26 2020
Breaking a leg during an audition ensures that you end up in the cast.
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Nov 10 2018
Breaking news: A red ship and a blue ship have collided in the Caribbean...
apparently, the survivors are marooned.
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 07 2021
A mime was arrested yesterday after breaking his left arm in a bar fight.
He still has the right to remain silent.
π︎ 20
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︎ Jul 30 2021
"I caught two men in balaclavas breaking into my house last night," said my friend. "But they got away sadly."
"How do you know they were sad if they were wearing balaclavas?" I asked.
π︎ 31
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︎ Mar 02 2021
On the eve of a record breaking cold winter night, a wife notices her husband run to the backyard with a bucket in his hand.
She grabs a cup of hot cocoa and watches through the window as he fills the bucket up with water and races from the back of the house all the way out to the front yard and out of sight. She bundles up and goes outside to get a closer look and sees that heβs cleared the snow from the sidewalk. She watches as he takes his bucket of water and pours it out on the cold concrete. Sheβs puzzled for a second and then says:
Icy, what you did there.
π︎ 12
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︎ Nov 20 2020
On a video about breaking world border in Minecraft
π︎ 45
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︎ Jul 04 2020
Breaking News In The Sports World:
Olympic finalist in the new event Camping Aquipment Setup quits and forfeits 1st place, 'It was just two tents.'
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 31 2021
Breaking News: famous cartoon character implicated in scandal!
They refused to be drawn on the matter, however.
π︎ 25
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︎ Sep 25 2020
I just read about the most ground breaking invention in the history of humanity
π︎ 30
π
︎ May 12 2020
BREAKING: The Supreme Court ruled in favor of Dad Jokes.
They deemed it cool and amusable pun-ishment
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 27 2020
Breaking news: There's a riot in progress at the Kentucky Derby.
Authorities are saying it's race-related.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 03 2019
Breaking News: Cornwall has been placed in Tier 4 lockdown.
Hundreds of pirates returned home to Penzance to celebrate Christmas with their families.
Apparently the Arrrr rate has increased dramatically.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 31 2020
Breaking news: president Trump has been in-peached
π︎ 35
π
︎ Jan 04 2019
My son went crazy running around the neighborhood breaking small twigs in everyone's yard one night...
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 16 2020
BREAKING NEWS: People are now smoking marijuana in record numbers, reaching an all time high.
π︎ 21
π
︎ Aug 06 2019
BREAKING NEWS: The man who wrote the hokey pokey died today, according to officials they struggled getting him into the body bag because they put his right leg in, then his right leg out, in out in out they shook it all about.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 18 2019
BREAKING NEWS: There was an explosion at the Charmin toilet paper plant in Baltimore, Maryland.
Im told no one was killed.....but many suffered from soft tissue damage.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Aug 13 2019
Breaking news; Count Chocula, the Stay-Puft marshamallow man and Teddy Graham, the Teddy Graham's cookie mascot, all died in a house fire today.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 21 2019
Breaking news in Wisconsin, farmers are no longer legally allowed to roll bales of hay
Apparently the cows weren't getting a square meal
π︎ 12
π
︎ Apr 25 2018
BREAKING NEWS: To get a better response in Asia, Billie Dee Williams is being replaced with an virtually unknown actor.
People are already calling the character Rando Calrissian.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 14 2019
BREAKING NEWS: Apple and Kia Motors have joined forces to produce a kit set electric car in sweden...
... they are calling it the iKia
π︎ 11
π
︎ Apr 14 2019
My Home Depot Manager got us together for serious store meeting. He asked who was breaking all the lumber in the wood aisle.
Me: (tightening my black belt) I donβt know but he must be pretty strong.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 01 2018
When breaking in a new pair of shoes..
..you're just putting them through their paces
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 02 2019
Breaking news! Cheese factory explosion in France!
π︎ 22
π
︎ May 22 2016
BREAKING: Russia has struck its own submarine with an underwater torpedo in the black sea, killing all 350 on board.
π︎ 35
π
︎ May 17 2022
BREAKING: Iran has struck its own submarine with an underwater torpedo in the Persian Gulf, killing all 350 aboard
π︎ 87k
π
︎ Jan 15 2020
A mime in my town was arrested yesterday after breaking his left arm in a bar fight.
He still has the right to remain silent.
π︎ 61
π
︎ Aug 29 2020
Breaking news: A red ship and a blue ship have collided in the Caribbean...
...apparently, the survivors are marooned.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Feb 08 2017
A mime in my town was arrested yesterday after breaking his left arm in a bar fight.
He still has the right to remain silent.
π︎ 96
π
︎ Oct 26 2020
BREAKING: Iran has struck its own submarine with an underwater torpedo in the Persian Gulf, killing all 354 aboard
π︎ 19
π
︎ Jul 17 2020
Breaking a leg during an audition ensures you're in the cast
π︎ 22
π
︎ Nov 11 2019
A mime was arrested in my town after getting into a bar fight and breaking his left arm.
He still has the right to remain silent.
π︎ 170
π
︎ Jan 29 2019
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