In spite of breaking both of his arms in an accident, my friend is surprisingly upbeat.

You …gotta hand it to him.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2022
🚨︎ report
A comedian is in the hospital after breaking his funny bone.

Doctors say his condition is serious.

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RemnantReturning
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2022
🚨︎ report
Breaking news: hydropower plant in our state is on fire!

Hot damn!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/penc000
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2022
🚨︎ report
BREAKING: Russia has struck its own submarine with an underwater torpedo in the Black Sea, killing all 69 aboard

Whoops wrong sub

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PeterPorky
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2022
🚨︎ report
Breaking news! Chris Hemsworth did NOT, in fact, badly injure himself while lifting weights.

He was just a little Thor.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/btwrenn
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2022
🚨︎ report
The actor from Breaking Bad decided to experiment with drugs in order to know how to better preform his character.

He was a methhead actor.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mg42524
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2022
🚨︎ report
BREAKING: North Korean Leader in vegetative state following surgery.

They're going to start calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Otherwise-Sherbet
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Breaking a leg during an audition ensures that you end up in the cast.
πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Xddz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Breaking news: A red ship and a blue ship have collided in the Caribbean...

apparently, the survivors are marooned.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Medical-Jello7644
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2021
🚨︎ report
A mime was arrested yesterday after breaking his left arm in a bar fight.

He still has the right to remain silent.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zu-den-sternen
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2021
🚨︎ report
"I caught two men in balaclavas breaking into my house last night," said my friend. "But they got away sadly."

"How do you know they were sad if they were wearing balaclavas?" I asked.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
🚨︎ report
On the eve of a record breaking cold winter night, a wife notices her husband run to the backyard with a bucket in his hand.

She grabs a cup of hot cocoa and watches through the window as he fills the bucket up with water and races from the back of the house all the way out to the front yard and out of sight. She bundles up and goes outside to get a closer look and sees that he’s cleared the snow from the sidewalk. She watches as he takes his bucket of water and pours it out on the cold concrete. She’s puzzled for a second and then says:

Icy, what you did there.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NotMetheThree
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
On a video about breaking world border in Minecraft
πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Breaking News In The Sports World:

Olympic finalist in the new event Camping Aquipment Setup quits and forfeits 1st place, 'It was just two tents.'

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2021
🚨︎ report
Breaking News: famous cartoon character implicated in scandal!

They refused to be drawn on the matter, however.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dashie1985
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I just read about the most ground breaking invention in the history of humanity

It’s a shovel

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sergio_the_pro
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report
BREAKING: The Supreme Court ruled in favor of Dad Jokes.

They deemed it cool and amusable pun-ishment

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/clifwith1f
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Breaking news: There's a riot in progress at the Kentucky Derby.

Authorities are saying it's race-related.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Breaking News: Cornwall has been placed in Tier 4 lockdown.

Hundreds of pirates returned home to Penzance to celebrate Christmas with their families.

Apparently the Arrrr rate has increased dramatically.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/1963Jan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Breaking news: president Trump has been in-peached
πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/miraaaaaak123
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
🚨︎ report
My son went crazy running around the neighborhood breaking small twigs in everyone's yard one night...

I think he just snapped.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
BREAKING NEWS: People are now smoking marijuana in record numbers, reaching an all time high.
πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jeepguy797
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
🚨︎ report
BREAKING NEWS: The man who wrote the hokey pokey died today, according to officials they struggled getting him into the body bag because they put his right leg in, then his right leg out, in out in out they shook it all about.
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
BREAKING NEWS: There was an explosion at the Charmin toilet paper plant in Baltimore, Maryland.

Im told no one was killed.....but many suffered from soft tissue damage.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jeepguy797
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Breaking news; Count Chocula, the Stay-Puft marshamallow man and Teddy Graham, the Teddy Graham's cookie mascot, all died in a house fire today.

S'more to come at 21.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Breaking news in Wisconsin, farmers are no longer legally allowed to roll bales of hay

Apparently the cows weren't getting a square meal

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JonnyB3ski
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2018
🚨︎ report
BREAKING NEWS: To get a better response in Asia, Billie Dee Williams is being replaced with an virtually unknown actor.

People are already calling the character Rando Calrissian.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
🚨︎ report
BREAKING NEWS: Apple and Kia Motors have joined forces to produce a kit set electric car in sweden...

... they are calling it the iKia

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NZOC
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
🚨︎ report
My Home Depot Manager got us together for serious store meeting. He asked who was breaking all the lumber in the wood aisle.

Me: (tightening my black belt) I don’t know but he must be pretty strong.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ImVladimirPutin
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2018
🚨︎ report
When breaking in a new pair of shoes..

..you're just putting them through their paces

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rb998
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Breaking news! Cheese factory explosion in France!

De brie is everywhere!

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshWithaQ
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2016
🚨︎ report
BREAKING: Russia has struck its own submarine with an underwater torpedo in the black sea, killing all 350 on board.

Whoops wrong sub.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ForeverTheSadOne
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2022
🚨︎ report
BREAKING: Iran has struck its own submarine with an underwater torpedo in the Persian Gulf, killing all 350 aboard

Whoops wrong sub

πŸ‘︎ 87k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PeterPorky
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A mime in my town was arrested yesterday after breaking his left arm in a bar fight.

He still has the right to remain silent.

πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Breaking news: A red ship and a blue ship have collided in the Caribbean...

...apparently, the survivors are marooned.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mkay1911
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2017
🚨︎ report
A mime in my town was arrested yesterday after breaking his left arm in a bar fight.

He still has the right to remain silent.

πŸ‘︎ 96
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
BREAKING: Iran has struck its own submarine with an underwater torpedo in the Persian Gulf, killing all 354 aboard

Whoops wrong sub

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hercules_ZH
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Breaking a leg during an audition ensures you're in the cast
πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
A mime was arrested in my town after getting into a bar fight and breaking his left arm.

He still has the right to remain silent.

πŸ‘︎ 170
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
🚨︎ report

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