Hilarious Brand New Machine Puns

Grandpa joke

My grandpa told me this joke; mind you, it was in the '90s, before all the computer tech became relevant.

Inventor runs to the patent office:

I have a brand new machine idea!
What does it do? - asked the official.
You know how every man is tired of shaving every single morning? My shaving machine would be placed all over the city, for scruffy lads to just put their heads in the device, and in exchange for a quarter, it would shave their face for them! - replied the inventor.
But Sir, every person's face has a different shape!
...At first!

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👤︎ u/DashcamWarriors

📅︎ Aug 04 2015

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While receiving change from the self-service checkout line.

Machine pumps out 3 brand new one dollar bills

Brother: "Man, those are crisp!"

Me: sniffs bills "...Minty"

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👤︎ u/ski3223

📅︎ Dec 02 2014

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