Guy got his luxury car t-boned in an accident
Suppose he saw how the Mercedes-Benz
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︎ Apr 23 2020
She got boned
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π
︎ Oct 09 2019
She totally got boned.
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︎ Oct 09 2019
My friend recently got t-boned in his new car after winning the lottery. I asked him if he was a glass half full or glass half empty type of guy. He responded
Medium-well.
Edit: over-medium is for eggs
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︎ May 27 2019
She likes to get boned
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︎ Sep 16 2018
I find bone puns very
π︎ 69
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︎ Jun 11 2019
Still Bone shaped though!
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︎ May 22 2020
I know an archaeologist who found a human leg bone during an excavation. The other archaeologists got excited and went over to help him.
Turned out to be quite the shin dig.
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︎ Jun 25 2020
My archeologist buddy invited me to a party. Apparently the entertainment was looking for leg bones in his backyard.
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︎ Jun 26 2020
I lost my guitar pick made out of cow bone
I told my brother I lost my bone pick, he said βof course you didβ
βI really have a bone to pick with myself for doing thatβ
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π
︎ Jul 01 2020
How many bones are in a hand?
π︎ 28
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︎ May 18 2020
why couldnβt the vampire choose between ribeye, sirloin or T bone?
Because he was scared of stakes
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︎ May 21 2020
When I die my wish is to be cremated except for my funny bone
That way my humerus with my family forever.
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︎ Jun 02 2020
We found a dolphin skeleton on the beach, so we ground the bones to make some bread...
It was all-porpoise flour.
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︎ May 07 2020
It's just a pun, honest
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π
︎ May 22 2020
No bones about it...
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︎ Feb 26 2020
I got a car in the shape of a bone
π︎ 2
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︎ Apr 23 2020
Once I found a funny bone
I boiled it. It made a laughing stock. It was humerus like the bone
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︎ May 09 2020
I got really mad when a friend made a joke about hitting his funny bone...
Somehow, he just really struck a nerve.
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︎ Apr 22 2020
Punny Bone
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︎ Apr 04 2020
I thought I found a dinosaur bone in my back yard
... but it was a fossil arm.
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︎ May 02 2020
I just invested in a company that will pay me to keep t-bones and rib-eyes in my freezer to sell when the market improves...
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︎ Apr 24 2020
My wife decided to put a bunch of leftover chicken bones in the crockpot so we can make a lot of soup at home as this thing drags on
When it was done she said "we're all stocked up!"
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︎ Mar 30 2020
My son broke one of his bones
Napoleon really ripped his Bonaparte
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︎ Mar 19 2020
Death is hard
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︎ Mar 08 2020
I feel this pun in my bones
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︎ Nov 06 2019
[Meta] The real purpose of dad jokes
Back in the before times, when sit-down restaurants existed, I used to order boneless cheese sticks and would just throw the word "boneless" in front of any appetizer with 100% corniness. The purpose of this isn't to make a good joke. It's not a good joke. The purpose is to make my dining companions catch some cringe splash damage and want to crawl into a hole and die out of embarrassment for my being horribly corny.
But there is a real, deeper purpose that I've discovered entirely by accident. People, especially young people, are so self-conscious and worried about saying or doing something embarrassing that it taints a lot of social gatherings. They go to a restaurant and are afraid to speak up even when their order is blatantly wrong. They'll tip well even when the food took an hour to arrive and the server has disappeared into the corn stalks behind a baseball field. It takes 2 hours of hanging out together before some friends finally stop nitpicking themselves, uncomfortable in their own bodies and brains, feeling perpetually judged, and begin to relax. These are the kinds of people who go to sleep every night replaying cringey moments from high school. Their last thought of the day is when the Burger King girl said, "Enjoy your meal!" and they said, "Thanks, you too."
It takes 2 hours and/or a lot of booze before they're comfortable enough to take conversational risks and truly reveal themselves. But if I come right out of the gate with a really dumb joke, then we can cut to the chase. There's less danger because someone in the group already shot themselves in the foot, right off the bat. They pulled a pin on the cringe grenade and then jumped on it.
You cringe at my dumb joke and then we're over the hump. Someone has already done something pretty stupid, so go ahead and order the hubcap of nachos and a massive chocolate shake because nobody is going to judge you poorly while they're all judging me.
In terms of price negotiations (haggling), there is a psychological concept called "anchoring". You throw out the first number and all subsequent numbers are compared to that number. This is the same idea. We've already set the humor standard pretty low at "boneless cheese sticks", so you can say the dumbest shit you want and, as long as it's not worse than my cheesy joke, it won't matter.
This is why, when you were a teenager and your dad took you and some friends out, your dad made corny jokes. He knew they were corny jokes. You and your friends un
...
keep reading on reddit β‘
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︎ May 18 2020
Bone Atrophy
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︎ Dec 17 2019
How does a French skeleton say hello?
π︎ 55
π
︎ Jul 03 2020
What do you call a dream induced by a broken bone?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 08 2020
Why doesn't the skeleton go to the prom?
Because he had nobody to go with!
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π
︎ Jul 04 2020
Itβs the end of work on Friday, itβs been a long week, and all my bones are just like the capital city of the Holy Roman Empire.
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π
︎ Feb 14 2020
My son asked me "How much do all of our bones weigh?"
I said "Probably a skeleton"
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π
︎ Dec 09 2019
What do you call a dog magician
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π
︎ May 27 2020
My friends have a bone to pick with me
Friends: You don't have a funny bone in your body
Me: what do you mean I've got two right here shows upper arms
Friends: what
Me: they're humerus
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︎ Dec 31 2019
What did the high archaeologist say to his colleagues upon discovering a trove of dinosaur bones?
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︎ Jan 17 2020
A big hunk o'bone
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π
︎ Sep 30 2019
What is a printer's favorite type of jelly?
Jelly's fine, but paper jam is the best!
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π
︎ Jun 03 2020
Heβs the guard that trains the dogs. He has a bone and it βfetchesβ a modest price if sold.
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︎ Jul 26 2019
Bone appetit
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π
︎ Aug 07 2019
This tickled my funny bone...
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π
︎ Aug 14 2019
Is this my pun-ishment
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π
︎ Dec 29 2019
Recently scientist found out the funny bone is not
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π
︎ Oct 26 2019
Funny bone china
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π
︎ Jul 20 2019
Bone Apple Tea!
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π
︎ Apr 28 2019
I took my dog's bone away from him...
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π
︎ Nov 03 2019
My dog has a song she likes for rawhide bones.
Gnaw, gnaw, gnaw, gnaw
Gnaw, gnaw, gnaw, gnaw
Hey, hey, hey.
Goodbye.
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π
︎ Oct 08 2019
What did the skeleton say before dinner?
Bone appetit.
His whole family found that humerus.
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π
︎ Jun 18 2020
My SO: "Can I get you a plate ready for the dinner?"
π︎ 9
π
︎ May 26 2020
A skeleton came up to me and said "tickle my funny-bone"
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π
︎ Oct 18 2019
Did you know that NASA found bones of an unidentified life form on the moon?
Update: bones have been identified, turns out the cow didn't make it all the way!
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︎ Oct 28 2019
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π
︎ Jul 29 2019
I donβt know why I find bones so funny
I just think theyβre humerus
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︎ Aug 04 2019
My son gets really excited when we go to the natural history museum. When he gets near the prehistoric bones, he just explodes with excitement and I can't deal with is new strength.
I'm just not qualified to handle his dino-might.
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π
︎ Sep 22 2019
What is a skeletons favourite instrument?
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 02 2020
What do you call a dog that likes to dig up bones?
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π
︎ Mar 26 2019
What did the skeleton say to the French soldier? Bone Jaw
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π
︎ Mar 22 2019
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︎ Oct 26 2018
Definately not the bones.
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π
︎ Apr 02 2019
Dogs can't see your bones.
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π
︎ Jun 03 2019
While eating porkchops in our backyard.
Me: Hey, you want a bone to chew on?
Son: Gnaw bro.
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︎ May 25 2020
When the old man gives a dog a bone...
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 19 2019
If you boil a funny bone what does it become?
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π
︎ Feb 24 2020
If you boil a funny bone
It becomes a laughing stock. That's humerus.
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π
︎ Feb 25 2020
If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock.
π︎ 29
π
︎ Feb 23 2020
If you boil a funny bone it becomes a laughing stock
π︎ 20
π
︎ Feb 25 2020
If you boil a funny bone, it becomes laughing stock. Now that's humerous.
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Jul 28 2019
I boiled a funny bone once.
It turned into a laughing stock.
That's a humerus joke.
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π
︎ Nov 23 2019
If you boil a funny bone....
It becomes a laughing stock
π︎ 92
π
︎ Dec 26 2019
If you boil a funny bone it becomes a laughing stock. Thatβs very humerus.
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Jul 15 2019
How many bones are in the human hand?
π︎ 72
π
︎ Oct 28 2019
How many bones are in the human hand?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 11 2019
How many bones are in your hand?
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Oct 26 2018
What do you get when you boil your funny bone?
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π
︎ Sep 18 2019
How many bones are in the human hand?
π︎ 24
π
︎ Nov 17 2019
How many bones are in the human hand?
π︎ 21
π
︎ Nov 18 2019
What do you get when you boil a funny bone?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Oct 28 2019
If you boil a funny bone it becomes a laughing stock......thatβs humerus
π︎ 92
π
︎ Jul 18 2019
How many bones are in a human hand?
π︎ 141
π
︎ Jun 07 2019
What do you get when you boil your funny bone?
π︎ 42
π
︎ Oct 05 2019
What do you get when a boil a funny bone?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 01 2019
How many bones are in a human hand?
π︎ 595
π
︎ Jan 19 2019
If you boil a funny bone it becomes a laughing stock. That's humerus .
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jul 19 2019
If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock.
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π
︎ Jul 24 2019
What do you get when you boil a funny bone?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jul 20 2019
What do you get when you boil a funny bone?
Laughing stock.
Come on, that is humerus.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 18 2019
Why were there bones on the moon?
Because the cow didn't make it.
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π
︎ Jul 03 2019
What do you get when you boil a funny bone?
You get a laughing stock!
#Now thatβs humerus!
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π
︎ Sep 22 2019
What do you get when you boil a funny bone?
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jul 07 2019
Funny bones
When you boil your funny bone it becomes a laughing stock. Wasnβt that humorous?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 07 2019
If you boil a funny bone ...
... does it become a laughing stock?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jul 19 2019
I boiled a funny bone once.
It turned into a laughing stock, thatβs a humerus joke.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 08 2019
If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock.
That's humerus.
Edit: spelling
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π
︎ Jul 19 2019
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