Bollard pull Puns

https://www.rolls-royce.com/media/press-releases/2021/04-11-2021-rolls-royce-to-supply-mtu-engines-for-80-ton-bollard-pull-tugboats-in-brazil.aspx

Let me start by saying that I am an ME but I work mostly with underwater systems. I am currently designing a propeller for a project based on a required Bollard Thrust. I have been using a program that designs an efficient prop based on a required thrust at a certain speed. I know that bollard pull is how much thrust a propeller can generate when the vessel is stationary, but it would not be valid to use zero or even a very small speed in this program.

I was hoping someone could help point me in the right direction on this. Thanks!

Some back story.

When my brother was 8, he had a head injury which nearly killed him, resulted in several surgeries leaving him with several plates on his skull. It took him years to completely recover from this incident, and ever since then, he has been completely unable to do any wrong in my parent’s eyes.

For example, when I was 16, I backed into a concrete bollard and did a good amount of damage to the family minivan. I had to pay the deductible for the insurance, and had to pay for my own insurance from that time onward (which I thought was totally fair). My brother totaled that same van 3 years later rear ending someone at an intersection and my parents made him pay nothing because his girlfriend had just broken up with him and he was already going through so much.

Stuff like that.

About a year after I graduated from college, I checked myself into an outpatient rehab program for my weed addiction. It had gotten to the point where I was high for every waking moment I was not at work, and it was completely controlling my life.

My parents are honestly amazing in almost every way, but there are a few places where they are severely lacking, and one of the biggest is mental health. My parents do not accept that things like addiction are an actual disorder, and rather think that it is purely a weakness of character thing. My mother also refused to accept that I have ADHD and it was not until I was in college that I actually started treating it. This is all the stranger because my mother’s entire career has been in the medical field (she is now the CEO of a local hospital chain), so there really is no excuse for her not understanding this.

Well they have always held me seeking out treatment against me, but I usually do not let it get to me.

My brother has been pulled over twice while driving drunk, one time blowing just over a .08, and the second being north of .12. Both times he was able to get off on some lesser charge (yay good lawyers…).

So last year, my dad won a basket of top shelf alcohol from a charity auction, and for my parent’s anniversary in August, he popped open a bottle of 30 year Macallan. I love scotch, so I was really excited to give it a try. He poured out glasses for my brother, mom, and himself. I went to go grab my own glass thinking that he just did not have hands for it all.

When I go to grab the bottle he pulls it away, and says “do you really think that is a good idea with your addiction,” heavily emphasizing t

Firstly, I want to thank bluefishcake for the same reason as everyone else – it’s a treat to play in someone else’s sandbox, and he’s made one for us all that’s really great!

Particular thanks go to xaphOs and HollowShel for their help, goodwill, craft, and encouragement as I stepped into this. Without them, this story would have stayed in my head. A special thanks as well to xaphOs for the use of his characters Ta'nu, Axia and Olea. I couldn't have come up with better, and would have been hard-pressed to find their equal. I’m grateful he's let me add a bit to their stories.

I want to thank you all for reading, any and all comments, and hopefully not taking this apart like a Rakiri at an all-you-can-eat BBQ buffet. Please enjoy, and forgive me where it gets a bit thin.

Just One Drop

Chapter One. Less than a drop in the great blue motion of the sunlit sea.

Vinyl tile.

He stared at it as he sat there. Grey, with flecks of green, white, and black, the stuff hid the dirt while not actually managing to look clean. ‘Careful there,’ he told himself. ‘You’re getting dangerously close to a metaphor.’

That wouldn’t do, and he stared at the linoleum again. It helped drown out the words around him, and that was useful in its own way. It had been twelve years since the invasion and self-help groups for therapy were still very much a thing, but most people had gotten on with their lives. He started coming to this one after moving East, to get away from… what was left, but after coming here for eight years, he’d yet to say a single word beyond pleasantries to Paul, the organizer of the group.

Grey vinyl tile. Black plastic sideboards. Beige painted cinder block walls. Paul worked in the school that owned the outbuilding and got the right to use it, and every other Saturday he came. It wasn’t the need for help that brought him, but it was something to do, wasn’t it? You take away everything that matters in a man’s life, and if suicide isn’t in their nature, then they just find something to do. That was him in a nutshell. He knew it, and he didn’t care. For a moment, David Gilmour swam through his head, ‘I have become… comfortably numb.’

Vinyl. He’d stared at it so many times while he sat there that a year or two earlier he decided to google the stuff. He

Last night, I was walking up to the pedestrian crossing on the Douglas Relief by KFC. A car heading towards the Douglas Road stopped for me (pedestrians have priority I believe) so I walked across as there were no other cars. I was halfway across and I just got this feeling a car approaching going towards the Fingerpost wasn't going to stop. I slowed and looked over, and the man driving the car was looking straight down at his phone. He then drove straight through the pedestrian crossing. Had I not slowed, he would have gone straight through me.

Prior to that, I myself was driving in the city centre. Traffic was extremely heavy and I was coming off the northern half of South Main Street onto Washington Street to go to Grand Parade. My light was green but the traffic had filled up the Washington Street lane, so I stayed at the stop line on South Main Street so as to not block the yellow box and junction. I ended up missing a chance to go in that run of the green light, but that's fine. Next green light, there was space for one car so I went. Every single car behind me followed, completely blocking up the yellow box junction, the Washington Street pedestrian crossing and the South Main Street crossing. Further up the street, a van had parked in the cycle lane (which has had its bollards illegally removed) against the flow of traffic, blocking both the cycle lane and half of the car lane, preventing a bus from turning right onto Washington Street (and so blocking that junction). Prior to this I had been driving down North Main Street and the entire length of the double yellow line was parked on. Driving down the South Mall, both sides were full of cars just dropped there. Some of these cars when pulling off just pulled back out into the road without indicating (or probably looking). Not to mention, I had got to North Main Street via Daunt's Square (was dropping someone into town) and cars were driving in and out of Patrick Street during the bus hours. I know road rage isn't healthy and complaining on Reddit won't do much, so I wasn't going to post about this. However, after nearly being flattened on the Douglas Relief Road pedestrian crossing, I felt I almost had to. To ask the question again, what is it with drivers in the city, especially the city centre, that makes them either unable to drive in a safe way that follows the rules of the road, or think that they own the road?

Do your worst!

It really does, I swear!

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

They’re on standbi

Buenosdillas

Pilot on me!!

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

Why

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

When I got home, they were still there.

There hasn't been a post all year!