Bob Trow Puns

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

I call it my Bob Todo. Aka Bob everything. I'm just trowing it out here so you guys can get some inspiration and maby rate it and come with suggestions.

(30l backpack)

1. 30m paracord.
2. All in one first aid.
3. 2 Sawyer Mini water filters.
4. Crank radio Sangean.
5. 3 fire steels.
6. Mora knife.
7. PET flask.
8. 1l Nalgene waterbottle.
9. Gasmask +filter.
10. Sleeping bag and sleeping pad.
11. Binoculars.
12. Paper maps.
13. Compass.
14. Small wooden oven (disassemble)
15. Hygene articles.
16. One change of clothes.
17. Notebook +pencil.
18. Headlamp.
19. Emergency flare.
20. Rechargeable batteries.
21. Small solar panel charger.
22. Whistle.
23. 5 days worth of food.
24. Extra ammunition.
25. Passport.
26. Small teddy bear.

Weapons: RMJ tomahawk. Glock 17 with flashlight. Benelli M3 super 90 shotgun.

Clothes: Terrain boots. Outdoor trousers. Thermal underwear. T-shirt. Jumper. Outdoor jacket. Beannie. Tactical gloves. Syntetic socks. Syntetic underwear. Shemagh scarf. Tactical goggles.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Author’s note: I do not claim ownership of any of the characters in this story. All copyrighted characters are the intellectual property of their respective owners.

Warning: This story contains alterations to the mainline game cannon. If you notice any inconsistencies with the original game lore, please comment them and I’ll do my best to explain myself for the crimes that I have inadvertently committed upon you, and deeply apologize for smearing your honor. However, I do as Odaku wills, and if Odaku wills me to mess with Yandere Simulator lore, I can not deny the holy cephalopod's command.

----------------

It was a bright and relaxing afternoon. All the students of Academi High had splintered off as the lunch bell chimed. Ayano Aishi walked past everyone, a hallow, vacant expression plastered across her face. Her hair bobbed up and down with each step she took. She ignored the chatter of other students whom she passed by. Even when some of it was directed towards her, she only gave the barest of acknowledgment.

“Ugh, like, get away from me you freaking weirdo!”

“Oh, okay…”

“You know, man, I heard she’s single~”

She sighed.

“Oh, hello there, did you want to join our cooking club?”

“No thanks.”

Ayano only had one thing on her mind, and that was to go see her one true love. A boy who was a year above her. Her senpai if you will. A boy by the name of Taro Yamada. Ayano sighed deeply and longingly just thinking about him. Ever since the day that she first laid eyes on him, it was like love at first sight. And she loved everything about him. His perfectly cut hair, his deep, black pools for eyes, his soft, gentle lips, his enchanting voice, his supple skin, his sweet scent, the beautiful dirt on his shoes, the feeling of touching locks of his hair at the barber, the taste of his saliva on every toothbrush he trows out, everything about him simply drove her wild. A pink haze overtook her vision as she leaned against a locker and placed a hand on her chest, becoming overtaken by her obsession over every facet of his being.

Ayano eventually managed to pull herself towards the courtyard, where she knew Taro would be sitting. And sure enough, there he was. But something was wrong. While Taro was sitting in his usual spot, something was different this time. He had someone sitting next to him. Recognizing the spiky, white hair and intense, cyan eyes, Ayano immediately recognized him as Hikaru Sakamori, the new student to Academi High, and the boy

Or would that be too forward thinking?

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.

I won't be doing that today!

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

[Removed]

There hasn't been a post all year!

And then shook his arm really fast.

(True story, please groan with me.)

You take away their little brooms

It was about a weak back.

When I got home, they were still there.

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭