I hate it when I get blinded by light in the morning.

That sun of a bitch

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/poorly_timed_fuck
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My recently-blinded gf just broke up with me.

She said she couldn’t see herself being with me anymore.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/m4cktheknife
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Nobody has partially blinded my telepathic horse 'Psyclops' with argonated water.

All is for -naut.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Target359
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the near blinded man almost fall in the well?

He couldn’t see that well

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/alexbeltran43
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the blind carpenter?

He picked up the hammer and saw.

(my dad told this all the time. I am continuing on with the tradition...)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SimplisticAnswer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a blind Nazi?

A not-see

πŸ‘οΈŽ 38
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Chrome_sus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm disappointed this Bible for the blind isn't called "The Holy Braille"
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Cornelius____
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My doctor just told me that i was color blind

that came completely out of the orange

πŸ‘οΈŽ 173
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/who_8_my_pasta_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Why can't blind people eat fish?

It's Seafood

πŸ‘οΈŽ 581
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RoboMaster2K
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Blind prostitutes....

you really gotta hand it to them

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Evening_Flatworm5850
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
I went on a blind date with a vegan girl.

Never met herbivore.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 65
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rhshi14
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 31 2020
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i see, said the blind man

looking through a knothole in a barbed wire fence

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tiktokadvocate
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about the blind prostitute ?

Well, you gotta hand it to her.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RedMusical
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw it all said the blind man,

To his deaf wife.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mastiff_Speed
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you find a blind man at a nude beach?

It’s not hard.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 16 2021
🚨︎ report
A blind man walked into a bar

then a table, and a chair

πŸ‘οΈŽ 91
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AshamedTurtwig
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Hey, did you hear about the 2 blind Cyclopos?

Neither have eye.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Why can't blind people eat ocean fish?

Because it's see-food!

my 11 year old daughter ran in here while cooking greens and dropped that knowledge on us. I couldn't be more proud lol.

edit: just wanted to let those of you who have is awards that I appreciate it! I told my daughter about them and she asked if she can keep telling jokes for me to put on here lol. should get fairly interesting.

thanks all. I hope you had a great turkey gobble day

πŸ‘οΈŽ 150
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cyberrich
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you seen who's playing the lead in the new Blind Batman film?

It's Christian Braille.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SquiddlyD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Why can't the blind man see his friends?

He's married.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/benevolentdespots
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Had to take my blind roommate to the hospital today.

Last time I leave the plunger in the toilet .

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/certifiedredneck1776
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a serial killer who's deaf and blind?

Helen Killer

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sandee13
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Blind god
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Glowstick2019
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you seen the car crash at the national association for blind people?

Witnesses claim they didn't see it coming

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/5wiipr29
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Who doesn’t know about blind people?

I’m sure deaf people never heard of them..

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FlintTheDad
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
In my free time, I like to help blind people.

Verb, not adjective.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a blind dinosaur?

A do-you-think-he-saurus.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 38
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Knowbody-_-
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a blind man eating seafood today

It didn't help

πŸ‘οΈŽ 207
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/phileo56
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I was going to cover the windows of our new house with curtains, but my wife came in and tossed vertical blinds at me...

Dunno why the she had to throw shade on my pursuit...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What would Hitler be called if he was Blind.

A Not See

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Qui-DenSchmidt
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
My 2 blind friends are always bickering with each other

They just don't see eye to eye

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Special moment: giving my sun his first bath.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 222
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mcdofras
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
I entered my sons room and said, "Remember, boy, masturbating can make you go blind."

"I'm over here dad." He replied.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/OliPark
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a blind woman say when she gets to the top of the Space Needle?

Nothing, cause she can't Seattle.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ThatBitchSarahRose
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a blind dinosaurs dog?

Doyathinkesaurus Rex.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/1963Jan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Love is blind

Sex is Braille.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a blind person say when you give them sand paper?

"That's a small font."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 37
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/biker_philosopher
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked a blind girl out in braille today...

...she left me on felt

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GaySalami
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
As a blind comedian, I have been trying to understand my audience.

Ah, who am I kidding?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
"Okay rookie, the first thing you've got to learn about making pornography for the blind is: Voice Projection."

"That sounds hard."

"Thank you. I'm a professional."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the blind guy fall into the well?

Because he didn't see that well.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 183
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheMcRican
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the partially blind man fall into a well?

Because he could not see that well.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 31
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/IDRambler
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 07 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you spot a blind man at a nude beach?

It ain't hard

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/patdaddy007
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
So a blind man walks into a bar.

Then a table, Then a chair..

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/OmegaDelta9
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the blind man fall in the well?

Because he couldn’t see that well

πŸ‘οΈŽ 47
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Imtotallynotathing
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the blind man fall in the well?

Because he couldn’t see that well

πŸ‘οΈŽ 88
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fatcattleco
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the blind guy fall into the well?

Because he didn't see that well!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 46
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheMcRican
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you guys hear about the blind carpenter?

He picked up a hammer and saw

πŸ‘οΈŽ 31
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cerebolic-parabellum
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the legally blind guy fall into the well?

Because he didn’t see that well.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/2donutkid2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can't the blind man see his friends?

Because he's married.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SunnySideUp145
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can't blind people eat fish

Because it's seafood

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CRANKY_MUPPET
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a blind dinosaur?

Doyouthinkhesaurus

πŸ‘οΈŽ 51
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/UmphreyMcCheese
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the blind guy fall down the well?

... because he could not see that well.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kaerlok
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report

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