Mr. Cooper has been working so much lately, he's feeling less and less like himself.

What he needs is a night of rest and re-Cooperation.

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📅︎ Mar 23 2021
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Meter griffin
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📅︎ Dec 10 2020
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I bought myself a Mini Cooper and painted the letter "S" all over it. When I drive around town...

everyone says look at that little "S" car go!

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👤︎ u/jfshay
📅︎ Sep 25 2020
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A warden implemented a policy to only allow medical assistance to inmates that previously cooperated

They called it "Snitches get stitches"

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📅︎ May 18 2020
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Did you hear about Shaquem Griffins new book?

He wrote it single handedly

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👤︎ u/snowbro23
📅︎ Jul 11 2019
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Y'know, I always ask my stubborn and difficult friend Cooper why he's named Cooper.

Because he never cooperates.

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📅︎ Sep 20 2019
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The boys are getting together for some Cooperative Video Gaming tonight

Or what I like to call COVID.

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👤︎ u/lemonloaff
📅︎ Mar 21 2020
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*insert Peter Griffin laugh here*
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📅︎ Jun 01 2017
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Timmy cooper classic: Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one and let the other one off.

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👤︎ u/jonjk
📅︎ Mar 08 2019
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Along the shore, some birds cooperate with each other...

because one good tern deserves another.

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👤︎ u/wjc-reddit
📅︎ Sep 17 2019
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I watched a video of Bradley Cooper forgetting his lines on set

I guess you could call him Bradley Blooper

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👤︎ u/SozeKayze
📅︎ Feb 11 2019
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Anderson Cooper inundates us with puns and giggles. youtube.com/watch?v=-MumI…
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👤︎ u/jchazu
📅︎ Dec 01 2012
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mini cooper
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👤︎ u/scottshott
📅︎ Jun 17 2015
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My girlfriend dumped me because I'm not cooperative enough.

She said, "Where are my keys? I'm leaving!"

I said, "I don't know."

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👤︎ u/TommehBoi
📅︎ Jun 24 2018
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Cnn...
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👤︎ u/wurlJAM
📅︎ Dec 08 2018
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Anderson Cooper's Ridiculist on Gerard Depardieu youtube.com/watch?v=xrwf9…
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📅︎ Jun 29 2014
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What kind of auto does Mickey Mouse’s wife drive?

A Minnie van.

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👤︎ u/labink
📅︎ Dec 16 2019
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In order to go to Hogwarts...

... you need to Slither in through the Griffin door.

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📅︎ Oct 10 2018
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I am currently student teaching at a middle school, my cooperating teacher is a walking dad joke machine.

A group of fifth graders are visiting our school he asks the kids "Hey did Mr. O(5th grade music teacher) ever tell you we went to college. It was me him and Abraham Lincoln in class"

One of his favorites "What side of the dog has the most fur?" "The Outside"

Whenever a kid asks "Can I go to the bathroom?" He always answers with "Only a Dr. Can tell you that." He does is so much that when A child says may I go to the bathroom he still does it without thinking. Most students stopped asking to go to the bathroom or ask me.

Its been a great few months of these, I'll add more to the comments as I think of them.

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👤︎ u/barryd406
📅︎ Jun 13 2014
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Which Family Guy character is adamant about animal rights?

PETA Griffin

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📅︎ Jun 20 2019
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The policeman and his son

The policeman was trying to put his young son down for a nap, but the boy wasn't cooperating.

"Do I need to call for backup?" the dad asked. "'Cuz it seems you're resisting a rest!"

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📅︎ Mar 05 2019
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My dad's citation at my college graduation party.

"In honor of this celebration, I'd like to quote the late 20th century philosopher A. Cooper:

School...is out... For summer.

School...is out... Forever.

Let's reflect on these words in our moments together today. Thank you."

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📅︎ Aug 20 2013
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We were out for dinner...

We were out for dinner with a few friends, and one named Griffin. As we walked up to the entrance of the restaurant, one of the staff greeted us and opened the door for us. Griffin was turned around, telling us some hilarious story, so he didn't see this. As such, I said what any polite person would say under the circumstances: "Griffin, Door."

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📅︎ Apr 15 2018
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While settling Canada...

One of the French outposts refused to cooperate with the others.

It was the rogue fort.

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📅︎ Jul 03 2018
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So my son is a dad already...

I said 'you're killing me, kid.' To which he replies 'No, I'm Griffin.'

He'll make a great dad after he makes it past 2.

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📅︎ Sep 26 2015
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Dad joked by my kids pre-k teacher

My son and I do a cooperative pre-k. There's a class of 8 kids and two parents rotate every 4 weeks to help. Yesterday was my day.

We're doing a craft with glue and my son got some glue on my shirt.

> Pre-K teacher: Oh look, nyran20 and his son are bonding!

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👤︎ u/nyran20
📅︎ Feb 20 2015
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it'll do that...my friend just dropped this one

me: I accidentally added Poison by Alice Cooper to my Christian playlist...I'm dying

him: Poison will do that to you.

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📅︎ Jan 13 2014
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Recognized I had a dad joke during lunch today

Wife was making some Greek sandwiches for lunch today and the pita bread wasn't cooperating.

Wife: "This pita bread is terrible."

Me: "Yup, it's awfully pita-ful."

Wife sighs.

Me: "What? That was awesome!"

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📅︎ Apr 12 2015
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He got me.

Dad: What was the name of the hotel you are staying at again?

Me: The Griffin Gate Marriott.

Dad: Not the Gryffindor?

Me: No....

Dad: Okay good, just making sure you didn't go too far.

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👤︎ u/MrPitz
📅︎ Mar 14 2014
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My dad's from today: What comes before Vladimir Putin?

Vladimir eating a bean burrito.


Facepalm dad.

He also had one and I will quote:


"What do Dateline, Anderson Cooper 360 & 20/20 have in common?"

"I don't know dad. Can we just have lunch?"

"The first two are news shows and the third is what your mother drank for breakfast....Get it? Like MadDog 20/20."

Then, arm to God, he went

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👤︎ u/lsirius
📅︎ Sep 29 2013
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