What he needs is a night of rest and re-Cooperation.
everyone says look at that little "S" car go!
They called it "Snitches get stitches"
He wrote it single handedly
Because he never cooperates.
Or what I like to call COVID.
They charged one and let the other one off.
because one good tern deserves another.
I guess you could call him Bradley Blooper
She said, "Where are my keys? I'm leaving!"
I said, "I don't know."
A Minnie van.
... you need to Slither in through the Griffin door.
A group of fifth graders are visiting our school he asks the kids "Hey did Mr. O(5th grade music teacher) ever tell you we went to college. It was me him and Abraham Lincoln in class"
One of his favorites "What side of the dog has the most fur?" "The Outside"
Whenever a kid asks "Can I go to the bathroom?" He always answers with "Only a Dr. Can tell you that." He does is so much that when A child says may I go to the bathroom he still does it without thinking. Most students stopped asking to go to the bathroom or ask me.
Its been a great few months of these, I'll add more to the comments as I think of them.
PETA Griffin
The policeman was trying to put his young son down for a nap, but the boy wasn't cooperating.
"Do I need to call for backup?" the dad asked. "'Cuz it seems you're resisting a rest!"
"In honor of this celebration, I'd like to quote the late 20th century philosopher A. Cooper:
School...is out... For summer.
School...is out... Forever.
Let's reflect on these words in our moments together today. Thank you."
We were out for dinner with a few friends, and one named Griffin. As we walked up to the entrance of the restaurant, one of the staff greeted us and opened the door for us. Griffin was turned around, telling us some hilarious story, so he didn't see this. As such, I said what any polite person would say under the circumstances: "Griffin, Door."
One of the French outposts refused to cooperate with the others.
It was the rogue fort.
I said 'you're killing me, kid.' To which he replies 'No, I'm Griffin.'
He'll make a great dad after he makes it past 2.
My son and I do a cooperative pre-k. There's a class of 8 kids and two parents rotate every 4 weeks to help. Yesterday was my day.
We're doing a craft with glue and my son got some glue on my shirt.
> Pre-K teacher: Oh look, nyran20 and his son are bonding!
me: I accidentally added Poison by Alice Cooper to my Christian playlist...I'm dying
him: Poison will do that to you.
Wife was making some Greek sandwiches for lunch today and the pita bread wasn't cooperating.
Wife: "This pita bread is terrible."
Me: "Yup, it's awfully pita-ful."
Wife sighs.
Me: "What? That was awesome!"
Dad: What was the name of the hotel you are staying at again?
Me: The Griffin Gate Marriott.
Dad: Not the Gryffindor?
Me: No....
Dad: Okay good, just making sure you didn't go too far.
Vladimir eating a bean burrito.
Facepalm dad.
He also had one and I will quote:
"What do Dateline, Anderson Cooper 360 & 20/20 have in common?"
"I don't know dad. Can we just have lunch?"
"The first two are news shows and the third is what your mother drank for breakfast....Get it? Like MadDog 20/20."
Then, arm to God, he went
