A list of puns related to "Standing Up"
That’s why when mine tells me to stop acting like a flamingo, I put my foot down.
"Who was that?" asked my wife.
"Just some drunk asking for a push." I grumbled.
"Did you help him?" she asked.
"No, I did NOT! It's 3am and it's pouring rain!"
"Well, you've a short memory." she said. "Don't you remember three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? You should be ashamed of yourself! Now get out there and help him!"
She had a point, and angrily, I got dressed and went out into the darkness, calling out, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes."
"Do you still need a push?"
"Yes please."
"Where are you?"
"Over here...on the swing."
One shark hands the other one a small packet full of some suspicious white powder.
"That's some fishy business" the man remarks.
He started clapping.
(Obligatory: actually happened today, my mom messaged me to complain about his bad joke. I thought it was fucking hilarious.)
"Cuz we bulls wobble but we don't fall down."
A bad circumstance.
But everyone knows he lies a lot.
At first I was afraid. I was petrified...
While you may think your the bomb, it's really just plane stupid.
Thots and prayers
I always see Himalayan there.
I have a hunch it might be me.
"It was two tired."
Because they are two tired.
It was two-tired
Funnely enough
That concludes the mike check
And said “make me one with everything”
-Robin Williams.
They'd be guilty of vehicle Lars mans laughter.
They divided the duties equally: one was the fish friar, and the other was
the chip monk!
It means a lot
I mean, get over yourself, Lake Superior.
Our spirits were lifted.
I guess they must have realized I'm not a fungi.
Its a sitcom now
Bob turns to him and says, "thank you, that means a lot".
Now I'm a sit down comedian.
Finally he quit his job as a teacher.
That shit would be Kronk.
It was a grave mistake
No? Surprising. Urinal of them.
Man: would all the Mike's stand up please?
a few men stand up
Man: thank you, this concludes the Mike check
I’m not going to lie, his jokes were a little wooden. Boy...
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push." he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not! It's three in the morning and it's pouring out!"
"Well, you have a short memory." says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him and you should be ashamed of yourself!"
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes." comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here, on the swing."
It’s two tired
It was two tired!
It was two tired..
Because it was two tired.
It was two tired
"Make me one with everything."
I always see Himalayan there.
It was two tired.
It was two tired
It was two tired!
Because it was two-tired.
Classic
Because it is two-tired.
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